If Ever It Should Be So

If it ever happens that I've grown fond of you, you'll know it that day. My eyes, my smile, my expressions — they've never been good actors.

If being with me feels exactly the same as being with everyone else, then understand this: I don't see you any differently. But if I ever do, you'll sense it then. Know this — I never learned to bargain with feelings; there was never any need to learn.

I don't make friends easily. I have only one identity: I am a solitary person. I keep myself at a distance, and others maintain a certain distance from me too. It's easy to avoid me. I prefer staying away. Coming close only brings pain. People don't know how to keep each other well. What's the point anyway? I'm fine as I am!

If I ever truly enjoy being with you; or to put it more directly, if I ever truly grow fond of you... that day you'll realize you're someone special to me; you'll possess those parts of me that no one has ever received, despite wanting them desperately. It's easy to hurt me — if I allow myself to be hurt.