I Wanted Her

I wanted someone to whom I could speak everything openly, without reserve.

Someone who wouldn't ask why I'm heading to the market wearing bright red lipstick for no reason at all—that's who I wanted.

Someone who wouldn't demand to know why I'm sobbing and screaming even when everything is perfectly fine—that's who I was searching for.

Someone who would stay away from questions like why I'm not serious about life, why I'm not proving myself to everyone everywhere I go—that's who I wanted as a friend or companion.

Someone with whom I wouldn't have to flee in fear of endless questions about why I fell in love with this person, or why I didn't marry that one—that's who I longed for.

Someone who wouldn't try to uncover the reasons behind my excessive emotions or my indifference to so many things, who wouldn't stop me from being myself, wouldn't force me to wear masks and tell lies, wouldn't ask me to fight against my own heart—that's the kind of person I wanted and have been wanting my entire life.