Geet from the movie "Jab We Met" is a character very close to my heart. I find so much of myself in Geet.
Like Geet, I too am "main apni favorite hoon"—I am my own favorite person. I truly love myself deeply, cherish my own company. I love to laugh with myself, love to keep others happy too. For someone who doesn't know how to love themselves, living becomes unbearably difficult.
But here's the thing—I've never been able to reveal my true self to anyone, could never really manage it. Being the eldest child of my parents, my brother's older sister, I've always had to maintain a certain gravitas, a dignified persona. That's what happens in our society... I've had to constantly project this "I am a person of substance, you must interact with me carefully!" kind of behavior. Living your life according to others' expectations—there's nothing more suffocating than that.
I don't know how much longer these taboos will persist! I too have wanted to savor life like Geet does. I've always wanted to remain true to my authentic character. But the demands of so-called society and family have forced me to play different roles with different people. And in doing so repeatedly, I've grown accustomed to it. Yet sometimes I yearn deeply to unfold myself completely. How long can one keep hiding oneself?
Still, I continue to hide myself. As a child, I used to be terrified of revealing myself to anyone. Oh, what if they think I'm crazy? What if they can't accept my real self and leave me? What if they abandon me... This very thought is humanity's greatest weakness. No one in this world is indispensable. Someone who wants to leave has already departed mentally. Trying to hold onto them is nothing but wasting time on a futile endeavor while causing yourself pain.
I used to long for at least one person in my life—a woman or man of any age—before whom I could reveal myself completely, with whom I could forge a genuine friendship.
This never happened, never really does. Such a person simply cannot be found! People are only comfortable with themselves.
But I no longer feel regret about it. Growing up has taught me that first and foremost, one must accept oneself. I have to embrace the fact that ultimately, no one but myself will remain with me till the end. If anyone else stays, that would be a bonus. Someone who doesn't know how to accept themselves cannot be accepted by anyone else in this world. That's why it's crucial to express your authentic character to yourself. Once you can accept yourself this way, society and family will gradually come to accept you too. And if they don't, that's fine too—"kyunki main toh apni favorite hoon!" Ha ha ha...