Heart to heart this heart, that heart

 To feel the intimate touch of your breath,
 to hold those two hands within this fist,
 to drench you so wildly in my gaze—
 all the scattered, restless, turbulent
 busyness of mind,
 are you busier still
 than all of this in causing me pain, beloved?
  
 Heart, if you suffer, please forgive,
 know that I have nothing else left to do!
 Feeling burns fierce and relentless, the fire of doubt consumes me.........
 I'd walk a thousand miles without effort!
 Yet to cross beyond that final wall
 requires another heart's permission and desire—this much I know.
 Merely feeding one's own heart's hunger and whims is anything but love.
  
 So you see, with hundreds of desires in my heart,
 in the fierce current of constant blows,
 I am a stone......floating only in blood.
 When the taste of this gaze was lost in those eyes,
 I never think to remember!
 Why this reluctance—
 if only the heart could understand now!
 Because it doesn't, I still see today—in eyelids, in the heart's ledger!
 Death is better than understanding everything—this much I grasp!
  
 A mindless river flows past the corpse of my heart,
 that corpse is doing quite well indeed!
 Duality says, forgetting everything, how light you've become!
 Did you find freedom by casting off all dishonor and shame's weight?
 I laugh and say, staying forgotten and being forgotten are two different things,
 I've transformed all today's guilt into love itself!
 These lips never forget to tell the heart's news!
 These eyes only give happiness in disguise.
  
 Let it push me away and strike......let it!
 Let it laugh while keeping me in pain.........let it laugh!
 Let pain surround me on all sides.......let it surround!
 Let life continue as a tangle of wrong calculations.........let it continue!
 I won't follow its path on the back of torment, I won't!
 I forget everything, I throw everything away,
 yet I hold my self close, so tenderly!
  
 How much further must you push before my eyes' bond sets you free?
 Because I exist, you stay distant—
 thinking this, days pass in restlessness!
 You don't love—I accept even that,
 but that my love torments you, burns you—I cannot accept.
  
 No one is so busy that there's no time to ask after someone!
 I know it matters more whose news it is than the news itself.
 However busy you stay, how many days
 have passed on buses, so alone, or with two!
 Some uninterested passenger sits beside,
 everyone sits in that seat—why not me?
 Believe me, I can speak without speaking,
 I can see without seeing anything,
 whenever I'm beside you!
  
 You're leaving this city, beloved, going away,
 then go, beloved, don't look back.
 Leave some invisible kiss behind,
 even if it's not renewed,
 in that final moment of seeing, that painful instant of last farewell,
 I'll still know that laughter was the answer to all my kisses!
 Let the return kiss for that kiss dissolve in the wind's current........
 I'll find it exactly.
 I didn't want it back that day,
 my heart wouldn't have survived in that!
 A return kiss is dead with obligation,
 yet I'm asking for that kiss, beloved,
 let it be a return, but still it's extra!
  
 A dried flower never truly dies,
 having lived, I'll remain now too.
 I return alone on the path,
 the afternoon is empty without you,
 exhaustion only makes the heart weep.
 Let it weep, but I won't cry,
 I'll walk alone—this is my vow!
 Life passes, let it pass
 in some happiness, a little sorrow,
 this small life—it will pass!
 What fear then?