Fourteen Lamps

One. Your past can steal your present in an instant, if you let it. Imagine this: day after day, week after week, sitting in a dark room, you keep thinking and thinking—what happened and what could have been, why this occurred or that occurred, and so much more. Analyzing endlessly in your own mind what has already happened in your life, you can easily destroy your present, or you can accept that what is gone cannot be brought back and use your present to move toward the future. Which path you choose to walk is up to you!

Two. Not everyone or everything in your life will remain until the end; no matter how much you wish it, this is impossible. Many things happen that we don't want, but that we must accept. There are many aspects of life we don't understand, but that we must learn... simply to survive. We must bid farewell to some people without whom we cannot imagine living. Unwanted people and circumstances enter our lives, gradually making us stronger mentally. Eventually we realize that without those storms in our lives, we might never have become truly human!

Three. Happiness doesn't mean having no problems in life; rather, happiness is knowing how to face problems and move forward. Happiness is looking at what we have rather than at what we've lost. Happiness is making the most wonderful use of whatever we have at hand, however little it may be.

Four. Sometimes, to survive, we must work by giving our best without looking at what's happening or not happening around us. Looking in all directions prevents any work from being done properly.

Five. If you must control someone in life, keep someone in the palm of your hand, let that person be yourself. Worrying about things beyond our control, things we truly cannot do anything about, things we cannot accomplish no matter how much we want to—worrying about such things is the same as keeping yourself in torment. To be happy, you must eliminate needless, pointless anxiety from your life.

Six. What you consider right may be wrong to others. What others consider right may be wrong to you. Accept this. Whatever thoughts bring you peace, keep yourself at peace with those thoughts. Whatever thoughts bring others peace, let them remain at peace with their thoughts too. Don't impose yours on others, don't let others impose theirs on you. There's no simpler wisdom for living well. To survive, you must know how to dance. Each person's dance has a different style, rhythm, tempo, grammar. Each is correct, as long as it doesn't create the slightest obstacle in anyone else's path of dancing. However someone lives well without harming others, let them live that way. This is the dharma of life.

Seven. There will always be some people who won't accept you as you are. Still, live in your own way. If this makes you an object of someone's contempt or laughter, it doesn't matter at all. At the end of the day, if you're in distress, only you will be in distress; if you're happy, only you will be happy. There are some people—even if you gave them both your eyes to restore their sight, they would still say, "...This means your left eye was actually crossed!" Nothing can be done; to survive, you must accept their presence and live with it.

Eight. Relationships survive on the strength of truth. When one party refuses to accept truth, and the other takes refuge in lies to preserve the relationship, cracks gradually begin to appear in that relationship. There's only one way to sustain relationships—learning to accept someone by accepting the truth. If you feel the truth can no longer be accepted, it's better to end that relationship gracefully. Remember, what is true remains true—whether I accept it or not. My personal experience shows that often those who cannot survive in a relationship by accepting truth manage to survive in their next relationship by believing lies. In sustaining relationships, liars and hypocrites are ahead of everyone else. Love that isn't built on accepting me as I am and accepting him as he is—that isn't love, it's merely acting.

Nine. When will the world change? When we ourselves change. Without acknowledging what we see when we open our eyes, if we think or believe something of our own making, changing this world becomes impossible. In that case, there will be one world in our minds and another world in reality. We may have thousands of thoughts about how the world should be, we may cling to those beliefs and live by them, but this doesn't make the world conform to our mental imaginings. The world is a place where nothing is right or wrong. What exists here is simply—what's happening and what's not happening. That's it, nothing beyond this! Whether we accept it or not doesn't matter to anyone! What are we really like? Exactly as our experience and understanding make us. Today's thoughts and beliefs lead us down a certain path—tomorrow we'll walk exactly that same path. To change life, we must first change our thoughts and beliefs of this very moment, accept all transformed concepts naturally, and work with sincerity. A person whose head harbors another world beyond the real world is either a hypocrite or a fool.

Ten. You have two paths before you—either make decisions or make excuses. The first will prove you responsible, the second will reveal you as a coward. Life is a long-term practice center where we must solve various kinds of instructive problems. Making mistakes doesn't mean embracing failure, if we can correct those mistakes in time.

Eleven. Just a few negative comments are enough to kill a person's dreams. To live in a beautiful world, you need only follow two rules. First, never make disparaging comments about anyone's dreams. Second, don't keep yourself anywhere near those who make such comments.

Twelve. You shouldn't go everywhere or mix with everyone. In some places, with some people—your very competence becomes your greatest incompetence. They've tried hard to become like you but couldn't; they're still trying but still can't succeed. If you observe carefully, you'll see they only embrace those whose abilities are less than or equal to theirs. Don't go to places where their dominance is strong. If you do, you'll be humiliated or disappointed. Far better to sit alone in your humble cottage, dedicating yourself to your work. You may not gain much else, but you'll certainly find peace! Why voluntarily increase your mental suffering? No matter how high a position someone less capable than you may hold, never let their words or behavior make you doubt your own abilities. Experience has shown me that people in high positions simply cannot accept anyone in a lower position as wiser or more intelligent than themselves.

Thirteen. Sometimes, giving up is the only way to win. Explaining yourself to those who don't understand you at all means wasting time and energy. Let them understand whatever they want and be happy! Quietly remove yourself from their vicinity. Spend that time on your own work instead. Eventually, they'll understand everything. The answer must be given through work, not words.

Fourteen. Even if you defeat everyone in the world and emerge victorious, it's not truly victory as long as you remain defeated by yourself. To win against yourself, you must first lose mercilessly to yourself. You must convince yourself: I must win, because I am defeated. Then you must rise with tremendous strength. This business of losing to yourself is quite difficult; the next step—turning around—is even more difficult! We keep fighting the entire world, while our defeat at our own hands continues to mock us.