Forced Relationships

If someone doesn't want to talk to you, don't force conversation upon them. Even if they're your closest person, calling them again and again serves no purpose. The one you still consider close may no longer think of you as someone close to them. The one you hold dear may no longer hold you dear. People change—accept this. Accept this change and transform yourself as well. Forced union isn't union, it's rape. Forced love isn't love, it's acting. Making someone whose heart no longer feels love for you accept your love by force is the height of foolishness.

Don't lose your self-respect to someone you've already lost your place with. If that goes too, what's left of a person? When your calls keep flashing on their phone, they probably think, "How irritating! How irritating!" While you may not control becoming unwanted, you can completely control not becoming irritating. There are close people, but no such thing as lifelong people. There are close friends, but no such thing as lifelong friends. You can't force someone to be your lifelong person. Trying to do so only means poisoning your own life.

Everyone has their own likes and dislikes. Forcing your way into someone's list of preferences means selling your self-respect to them. Why must you force conversation with someone whose days pass perfectly well without talking to you? This isn't called love, it isn't called attraction—it's called pestering. You love them, fine, but does that mean they must love you too? Love is such that it doesn't have to be a two-way reaction. Just because they loved you once, must they love you forever? By the way, did they truly love you before? Are you sure? Let's say yes, they did love you. But must they love you for life? You might say true love never disappears. How do you know their love was true?

Calling someone continuously when they don't want to answer isn't called love, it's called lack of common sense. When someone blocks you, getting a new SIM card to call them from there is pointless nonsense. What's the point of such foolishness with someone who keeps blocking you, someone so irritated with you? If your heart gets too restless, grab it and give it a good slap. Hit it hard enough that all its teeth fall out. Why this tug-of-war with someone who no longer wants to stay? Fall completely silent. Don't talk to anyone, don't do any useless things except sleeping, reading, watching movies—turn off your phone and keep it far away. This complete silence works well in two situations: when angry and when restless. If you don't believe it, try it.

Someone who once loved you now gives you no attention. What does this mean? Surely there was some self-interest or condition in their love. Interest fulfilled, person vanished! You don't need to be a rocket scientist to understand this simple thing. Think with a cool head, you'll get your answer. It's also possible they still love you, but due to your suffering or some situation, they no longer want to keep the relationship. They no longer want to stay. Someone's will alone is enough to determine whether they'll keep a relationship or not! Trying to force them to stay means diminishing your own respect in their eyes.

Don't make yourself blind crying for the wrong person. Perhaps those eyes are very dear to someone who deserves you. Keep yourself good for that person. The one they treat like a queen, women don't even notice; yet the one they treat lower than a servant, women chase after. The same behavior is seen among men too. I think people are actually born to experience certain sorrows—sorrows they create with their own shelter and indulgence.

Yes, if it were that by lowering your respect before your beloved, you could turn their heart or mind back toward you, then there'd be something to say. If not, then let them be well in their own way. Figure out how to be well in your own way too. Can't figure it out? How will wisdom emerge when you keep your head messed up all day thinking about the wrong person? Feeling crazy because they left? Look into it—they might be telling people, "Look, look! How crazy they're going around for me!" A person who can't become dear in someone's eyes despite great effort becomes mad in their eyes, and then becomes a fool in everyone else's eyes.

Just because you were wrong about someone, must you spend your life making mistake after mistake? Rather, you're fortunate that before it was too late, you managed to distance yourself from someone who doesn't value your emotions. Someone who doesn't value your emotions doesn't deserve to be the person of your heart. Today you learned they've been playing with your emotions all this time. What are you doing after knowing this? Making your emotions even more playful, light, and cheap to such a person! They had fun before, they're having fun now! Who's responsible for this? You, you, you!

You raised a dog. That dog didn't leave you even seeing more food and comfort in another house.
You raised a human. That human left you without even seeing more food and comfort in another house.
Consider this—that person's mental position is lower than even a dog's! For such a person, this constant crying day and night you're doing—where does that put your own position?