Falling in love, they say, is death by rule

 I have a request. Will you keep it?
 The day you leave me, thinking you've already left me like this...
 Let's say, ten months from today, or even ten years hence,
 before you go that day, the pain you'll give, the torment and blow,
 could you give it all today, in advance?
 It's much better to take the suffering early than to suffer it much later!
  
 Whatever failings I have, whatever lacks in virtue and goodness,
 or because I haven't given myself to you as you desired,
 such incompleteness that has gathered in one mass...with all that
 you will leave me anyway, the excuses are already made!
 I'll take that future blow today, beloved,
 please, don't love me well today,
 hurt me from today itself, press tears into this chest,
 lash my whole body with whips, wound me with words as I come and go!
 Spread the pain of one moment across a thousand moments!
 Let the destruction of understanding begin from today!
  
 If you must offer me to the flames, let that sacrificial fire burn in my love today!
 If I die in that burning today, I'll think then that death was what I deserved,
 what did I have to give you anyway, and knowing all this, I shouldn't have to learn it much later!
 If you're very busy, if you don't feel like knowingly hurting me,
 then let me remain, thinking myself unworthy, I'll stay bowed in your love
 all my life like this! I have loved—what is there to fear?
  
 You are not my luxury, nor my mere emotion,
 I need you to live today itself,
 the claim of breath binds me to you...you are that necessity!
 I'll remain yours with a smiling face even while being unworthy,
 if today you give me that blow and suffering, in terrible anger,
 hearing all this delirium of mine, if the end comes early...
 No objection—I've been quite ready for ages!
  
 When you leave, just say it...
 How terribly ugly you are!
 How much do you really know from your studies?
 Those who know you...do they speak well of you?
 Don't you know you're dark-skinned?
 You walk so crookedly!
 What hair you have on your head—who calls that hair?
 Your eyes, I see, stay trapped behind glasses!
 Can you cook anything? Keep house?
 What qualities do you have that I should want you?
 With what essence will you marry? How will you manage a household?
  
 You have a thousand such reasons—crowd them there!
 In such a crowd, this love is quite unnecessary!
 Better let the blows come,
 let all accounts be settled today!
 I'll live a little more peacefully too!
 You'll call me your lover,
 people seeing you will say, ah, what a wonderful lover you have!
 ...I didn't come for such things! Know this!
 What does it matter what people say? I know
 I'm an unworthy plaything of yours,
 when the game ends you'll throw me away...I know that too!
  
 You'll bring me home,
 I'll wear saris for you,
 paint my feet with red dye,
 put the red dot on my forehead,
 wake you with the sound of bangles,
 become your wild desire...
 I don't think of any of that!
 To fly like that you need wings,
 I cut off those wings so long ago!
  
 To the one I've loved so terribly,
 kept in boundless affection and reverence in my heart,
 should I present an account of whether I'm worthy or not?
 That cannot be! I'll take leave before that day comes!
 A thousand mistakes, faults—one more than that, even doing all that
 when I come before you, I may be very foolish, just correct me a little!
 ...Such thoughts come to my mind!
 Then perhaps with pursed lips, with tears in my eyes, embracing you
 I'll cry out and tell you, I love you!
 I love you...when you love, what else do you need?
  
 I haven't entered any battle, haven't come to win,
 I've come only to remain the apple of your eye!
 Don't push me into such a battle, rather
 drive a knife into this heart, crush me with a hundred blows!
 However much pain you give, however you push me away with various excuses...
 All my life I'll still say,
 I understood nothing without you,
 the more I knew you, I learned nothing but love!
  
 Remember, one day you said, "May some of my life become yours!"
 Hearing that, I laughingly said, "You fool! Let me say goodbye before you!"
 Believe me, I didn't make up even a bit of that!
 Is it that you're worthy so I'm unworthy, or
 am I unworthy, so you became worthy...
 Setting aside that argument, I'll just say this—
 the brighter the cloth, the more the stains gleam!
 ...How can I forget this accounting?
 I apologize, forgetting accounts, I admit defeat!
 Too much accounting becomes a dam, not a bridge!
 Are you scolding me? Go ahead and scold! I'll become foolish just to take your scolding!
  
 Let sorrow remain today, I'll take happiness later!
 I know love will only give pain, one day suddenly
 it will drive me away, I'll wander the streets that day with bonds broken.
 Yet in this heart the ghost of breaking bonds has possessed me,
 desire to suffer has awakened, the urge to weep has taken hold!
 It's madness, isn't it? Tell me?
 When I think I'll break the bond, however that may be,
 then I think, since I must go, I'll become worthy before going,
 however many excuses you seek, I'll convince myself properly
 that I would have suited you perfectly,
 you moved away only by mistake!
  
 When you love, there are many duties and responsibilities, much pulling back too!
 Anger comes just enough to keep the relationship well!
 If some subtle feelings gather into subtle resentments,
 it's better to say sorry and break them before they build into mountains!
 When you love, you don't hope to get anything in return...
 You don't have to scold the person...everyone sees, like this.
 When they do wrong, make mistakes, you have to bind them with infinite forgiveness.
 Comparing who's better than the one you love well—such comparison is futile!
 The one I love, I love them with all they are!
 Judging so much, calculating...does that make love?
  
 You know, when you show a little...that you love,
 then I think I might just die!
 This much happiness—why should even that be bearable?
 All day I tell so many stories, call to you with little sounds...
 Do you understand anything? Look, today itself, when I lay
 relaxed in the afternoon, suddenly I thought, shall I sleep embracing you?
 When I spoke that wish in a shy voice, immediately you pulled me to your chest!
 You love to hold me in your arms and embrace me,
 yet today at noon, stubbornly, I buried my head in the hair of your chest and got lost!
  
 You'll get many lovers, but how many such mad ones will you get, tell me?
 Even after this, if you let go of my hand,
 say goodbye for this lifetime,
 know that even then I won't become a burden clinging to you,
 I'll just crash against your chest and weep terribly,
 and say with a laugh, in this one life I was utterly defeated!
 Some people come only to be defeated, I suppose I'm among them too!
  
 See, someday I too will become terribly worthy!
 That day your hand will belong to someone else...
 Even wanting desperately, I'll never get you again...
 If that's how it is, what good will becoming so worthy do?