Exchange

Tell me, this love I bear for you—
do you see it as mere transaction?
Is that why you ration me moments from your time like charity?

Had I known you were such an accountant,
I would never have dared to touch you!
I am truly not like that at all!
The self that is me is utterly reckless!
So your meticulous calculations
I cannot quite comprehend.

I've always been terrible at arithmetic!
What I have more of is indifference!
Honestly, had I known you'd sit with such scales to measure joy,
I never would have loved you so completely dispossessed!

Without you, I would never have learned in this life
that time and love too can be casually entered in ledgers of exchange!
You've settled the accounts for all my love, all my affection well enough,
but tell me—from where shall I collect payment for all my tears?

This fresh anguish you've caused me—have you squared those books?
What will you give in return, tell me?
Most likely some theatrical attention of yours, isn't that right?
I know, I know! I know it all! I understand everything!
Though I may not grasp the bookkeeping, I understand you perfectly!

Yet see—
you who comprehend accounts so well could never understand me at all!
Perhaps that's why you still cannot take me without keeping the transaction in mind!