Dream Dream Happiness

Dear Aranyo,

Let me begin with a question today, shall I!

Has this ever happened to you—you've written so many things thinking you'd give them to me, but then you never managed to give them, or you wrote them and tore them up the very next moment, threw them into a distant wastebasket, or erased everything you'd written! Tell me honestly! If you don't, then mark my words—you'll find red ants in your coffee every single day, and when you drink it, they'll bite your lips with their little pinchers. I'm warning you! Don't think this curse will just give your lips a little pain and be done with it; that pain will linger for a day or two. Then you'll understand, down to your bones, the consequence of not telling me the truth, mister!

Now tell me, how are you, Aranyo? Tell me honestly. Close your eyes and tell me. When your eyes are closed, you can't manage to tell yourself a proper lie. Well, when you close your eyes like that, how close do you find me? Exactly how much better do you feel when you find me? I know, I know! You won't answer even one of my questions! Do you act this way just with me, or with everyone?

Aranyo, why don't you step out of that little room of yours! At least you could go up to your rooftop. Your rooftop is so strangely beautiful! Yet look, you have no desire whatsoever to see it. That's how it is! What one has, one barely notices! If I were with you, you'd become terribly restless, thinking that all the girls in the world are like this! Well, would you get very annoyed then and scold me terribly? If you scolded me like that, I would have marched straight off to the mountains! With my longing to see the sky above those beautiful mountains, I could never stay cooped up in a room like you do! Are you then without feeling? Sometimes you could think of me a little and go up to the roof for a grand chat with the sky! But no, you never do such things!

I never told you something. Well, why do you torment me so? You don't let me sleep even a bit, you come into my dreams and keep me wide awake! I can't bear it anymore with you! I know you can't bear it anymore with me either! Do I also torment you a lot? Keep you awake night after night? Of course, you always keep your mouth shut anyway! Listen, today while cooking, I had thousands of conversations with you in my mind. Then I felt that later when we talked, I'd tell you so many things—this and that and the other! But look, I've completely forgotten all those very words! Nothing's coming back to me at all! If I remember, I'll tell you. All right?

Listen, Aranyo, yesterday I saw two of you. Both appeared before me. Their claim was that both of them were supposedly my Aranyo! If you were in my place, how would you have recognized them, tell me! Tell me...could you have recognized them? I was terribly confused too. Really, how do I recognize you! Then what happened, let me tell you! I saw both of them standing in my courtyard with love letters in their hands. I was looking at both of them. Exactly like you! What pure, sacred faces they had! Oh, such tender, loving faces! Yes, I was looking at both of them with all my heart. What happened next, listen to that story a little later. I'm still wondering which one among them was my real person!

What are you doing now? You tell me nothing at all! I'm very curious to know who's at the top of your list of favorites! I'm terribly eager to know about them too. You know, Aranyo, dreams seem to me like a divine resonance of music amidst supernatural, enchanting beauty! Once you see a beautiful dream, it keeps peeking into your heart all day long...!

Well, tell me...why is there so much magic in your name! All the magic of your eyes clings to that name of yours!

I had seen my Aranyo in the midst of an endless forest. It was a strangely beautiful day. Such days come from time to time. I never told you a secret. I feel like telling so many stories, but reading on and on, you'll get tired and tap your head saying, "Instead of wasting time writing all this, take a nap!" Well, say it if you want! What will happen if you do! Those words from so many miles away won't reach me anyway! You know, when you fish with a rod, the hook gets caught right in the fish's mouth, and it can't get free. One of your sweet smiles has stuck in my heart like a fishhook! Now tell me, in our case, who's the fish! You or me! Me or you! Or is our desire to be caught together the fish?

I feel like just telling stories and more stories! You grow soft listening to my stories and fall asleep. Aranyo, all right, I won't torment you anymore. Do you know how I managed to recognize you among those two yous yesterday! My real you gently touched my left cheek with a caress and flew away like a bird, disappearing somewhere! Isn't that wonderful, tell me!

Did you understand anything? What I was thinking while cooking with that touch of tenderness in my heart—I won't tell you all of that. One mustn't reveal everything. If you reveal everything, all waiting comes to an end. The death of waiting means sorrow! For me, living in your waiting is the very name of being alive, Aranyo!

Stay well, stay in the touch of these two eyes. Smile a little, won't you? When you stay angry like that, I get so frightened—don't you understand that?

Farewell—
Your silly one!