Don't go, stay

[Preface | Introduction | Opening Recital]
(To be spoken in a soft, slow, and emotional voice)

"Some relationships exist
that have no definition…
no name, no claim, no bond of time.
Yet they remain—
within… deep… in every breath."

"Don't go, stay"
An intimate feeling of connection…
A soul's dialogue of losing yet never being able to lose…
where 'you' are not just a person—
but a shadow, a fragrance,
an echo of memory…
that can never be crossed over.

[Recital Script]
(Beginning in an emotion-laden, slow voice)

: How am I?
: I don't know… (mysterious beloved).
: How much do you know about me?
: I never wanted to know!

: But then…
from that very first day
your wanting remained the same—
tell me, is that what we call love?
Or is it caring?
Or just… staying in touch?

(Silence, a gentle sigh)
The evening has ended.
You've forgotten me—
I have no regrets about that.

In the cigarette smoke
your shadow grows blurred,
unknowingly I become
terribly careless with myself.

: Today I want to know about you…
what are you really like?
: Ha ha… me?
I'm just like the ash of this cigarette.
What would you do knowing me now?
The more you know, the more you'll lose me.

(In a slightly firmer voice)
: Don't speak in riddles!
I don't like that at all!
And I told you—
to fix yourself!
Why aren't you doing it?

: Why should I?
Can you still look into my eyes
with the same curiosity as before?
No, you can—
I understand.

However much you call me "little one,"
it's not that I understand nothing.

: You talk far too much, little one.
: Listen, don't call me little one!
: Oh, silly girl.
: I love you.
: I know…
but don't ask me to say it,
I can't say it.

(Silent pause, spoken slowly)
: Well…
will you never search for me again?
You know I can't stay well
without you.

So I say,
go, you should leave.
I don't want to trouble you anymore
with these emotions of mine.

I am…
far messier
than even my own thoughts.

One message from you…
I've read it hundreds of times.
It's very dear to me—
when you used to say—
"Don't go, stay."

(Voice growing slightly heavy)
I didn't go, you know…
I only lost you.

: Are you well, crazy girl?
: I don't know…

(Clear recitative style)
Rather than losing after finding,
finding after losing—
is more meaningful.

After losing,
if you want to return to someone's soul
you have to burn yourself greatly.

But then…
you can be certain—
finding this person
is enough for your heart.

(In a soft voice)
Most people in life
we lose after finding them.

They're lost in such a way
that even the desire to meet face-to-face no longer remains.

Many come…
and when the time comes,
they leave…
time itself bids them farewell.

But…
feelings are not like that.
They pull toward the one
whose presence
lights up the heart.

(In a deep voice)
I am a person of strange nature.
My mindset is different.

I didn't doubt
the way other girls do.
Because—
when you love, you must believe.

(Pausing briefly, then speaking slowly)
People are very cruel and selfish.
That's why I'm afraid…
the fewer people in life,
the fewer troubles.

But then…
one day someone will come into life—
who has no death.
Whose existence will remain
in the deepest corner of the heart.

: Yes, I had found that person…
today I really want to say—
"I had found you!"

Are you listening?
Ever since you disappeared
I've found you even more deeply.

You're much calmer now.
Your hurry seems to have ended.

: After making me restless
you've fallen peacefully asleep!
: I can't find peace…
for two reasons—
one, being certain
that you're leaving me.
And two…
not being able to show
excessive love by going to you—
this unfulfillment.

(In a soft voice)
I know
I'll never have you like this again.
Yet…
I held your hand,
placed my face near your cheek—
closing my eyes
my heart somehow got lost in a whirl…

You weren't sleeping—
I know.
Believe me…
touching you in this moment
I feel myself alive.

Don't push me away…
this little feeling,
this little emotion—
is proof that I'm alive.

(A suppressed tremor in the voice)
Perhaps I can't be the way you want.
Yet…
unknowingly I had wanted only you.

Even if I were in your place
I might have done the same.
But look—
an invisible thread between us
still remains.

I'm very curious to know…
tell me,
did you really leave me?

: Have you taken everything properly?
You're not leaving anything behind?
: Hmm… you.
: Ha ha…
: I truly didn't realize
that I had left you behind.
Love cannot demand love
in return…

(Final line spoken slowly, with weight in the voice)
Don't go…
stay.

[End]