Depression

You are singing a weary warrior's song—
why do you sing it to another weary warrior?
Bowed by exhaustion, worn and strangely quiet today,
this restless world we've always known.

Death no longer grieves me.
Rather, thinking death the most desired thing,
I feel cursed by fortune for not receiving it.
Even hell's curse has become a defeated defeat…
so rare is it! Today even hell refuses to have me!

Clutching unbearable memories, trying to live,
I've forgotten how to cry out for help.
Though I know there's no wall on the other side
to catch even the faintest echo!

Though I loved rain, I never thought
I'd have to watch it turn hideous.
I've forgotten how to join the terrified wailing.
I've forgotten how to mend this shattered highway.
I've forgotten how to raise a tune on the violin, however off-key, with love.
I've forgotten what a personal night's moonlight looks like.

Long ago, I found a waterfall of murmuring sounds
in the depths of my heart.
Today I've truly forgotten how to find happiness
while keeping the rose's thorns hidden.
Truly, I am desperately tired today!
In a thousand years of time's journey, the thoughts of just a few moments
have left me inert, still, exhausted.