Death Too When Difficult

Just a rope...
could solve all problems
before the next blink falls!
But... what would become then
of this faithful neck of mine?!

If only I had a pistol in hand,
my finger wouldn't tremble
even for a moment
while making myself happy!
But... those splattered bloodstains
on the wall—
who will wipe them away?!

Just like in stories and films...
I too could take that longed-for sip
from the cup of poison.
But... could this shaky stomach of mine
bear such weight?!

Let's say, from atop some high mountain
eyes closed, without giving
a single thought
a second chance in my head...
I leaped; to find release!
But... this lifelong fear of heights—
would it let me
go free so easily?!

What a life this is!
Agony to live, agony to die!