Only remembering, every day, every moment, remembering. I've never tried to forget, yet still remembering. When the harsh afternoon sun falls, I remember you, when morning's dewdrops fade from tender grass tips, I remember you.
Any time, anywhere, so much remembering, yet this feels like a deliberate forgetting, this fierce urgency I have to forget— just like your urgency to leave me behind. In all this haste to forget, only one thing won't stay forgotten: the fact that I will forget!
When I close my eyes even now your face floats exactly before me. How many more days will you come like this, stealing in quietly when least expected, stealing sleep and fleeing—who knows! You will never come back again... then why do you come like this?
You haven't kept me in mind at all, when you haven't kept me in mind, then why do you exhaust me so in the realm of dreams? Did I try to bind you? Did I make you the entire capital of this life? Perhaps I did—else why this endless pull backward?
Tell me, now with whom do you share the weariness of day's end? There must be someone who understands you better than I ever did! And why wouldn't there be? When was I ever able to be yours, tell me!
I told you from the start that I wasn't worthy of you! Yet you yourself made me float needlessly in dreams! Why did you do that? Well, this too is good... Everything seems terribly good these days— for someone utterly failed, even these failures become gains!
That thing you always used to say... before time, beyond fate, no one ever gets even a drop more! That's actually true! This is my death-defying struggle— I don't know myself which shore this boat will finally reach, understand nothing of it. Everything seems utterly empty wherever I look... Has anyone ever seen such a thoroughly ordinary face of failure as mine?
All my failures have become friends now! I too have acquired much wealth for sorrow— you're the one who says nothing in this life goes to waste, nothing went to waste before this either, it seems, everything I've done stays with me!
Sometimes I wonder, how can one person have so much unattainment! The Creator supposedly gives everyone something or other— then why am I the only one unable to balance a single account?
I know these questions of mine seem unbearable to you— that's why you were always in such a rush to forget! Well, if forgetting keeps you happy, that's something at least!
Who said when that people can't be forgotten? Of course they can be forgotten, so easily forgotten— just as you have forgotten! This forgetting of yours I celebrate in my own way every day! ...Did you know this?