Caught in the eye

This waiting will never end,
when I'm forbidden to want you!
 
My heart like a fragile doll,
you break it a thousand times.
 
My shattered pleas and prayers,
why won't you still come to me?
 
My foolish words lie folded,
you're so terribly busy today.
 
Even in the songs I write
there's laziness in your rhythm.
 
I would have been a flowing river
if you had sat upon my shore.
 
All this enormous anguish
I'm keeping, only to waste away.
 
So many demands from so little—
you are utterly, terribly crushed.
 
My melancholy afternoons
wear the anklets you gave me.
 
All my petulance and pride,
yet I'm still drawn to you.
 
I think I'll pull myself together,
but some longing always remains.
 
I am no one anymore—
that's what you said on Sunday!
 
I'm worth only a little,
you have such a grand name.
 
This passing time of mine,
you bring it to a halt, I know.
 
My fear of changing myself,
not the date of your departure.
 
My two unemployed eyes,
you are some other person now.
 
I keep you in this heart
like a small bird in a cage.
 
In my mind's depths I touch you,
hiding, I call you "you."
 
I get tangled in memory's net,
you've mingled with the flame-tree's red.
 
The bangles on my wrists still ring—
why won't you listen?
 
You didn't pin flowers in my hair,
so why did you seek out its fragrance?
 
Your shawl still drapes my body,
whose handkerchief is in your hand?
 
I step down from the rickshaw at the corner,
I was alone on the seat.
 
My old mirror from before—
I search but cannot find her anymore.
 
My forehead burns with fever,
but you're walking toward another home!
 
Still I fly colored balloons,
you belong to someone else!
 
My dreams were meant for you,
you have become someone else today.
 
The wall of my long sighs,
your attention tuned to other melodies.
 
You have gone away, I understand,
knowing everything, I still search for you.
 
I invite sorrow into this heart,
you live on, steeped in regret.
 
Why do you look for reasons
when I won't hear your refusal!
 
I have only left home,
you are precious in both houses.
 
Only you remain in my eyes,
no one else will come!
 
My sun-scorched house,
you alone are all I have left.