(I’ve shared roughly 30% of what I spoke about at the Career Chit-Chat held at Sylhet Agricultural University on 06/11/2015.)
Disclaimer :
There are a few attitudes I’ve come to find most tiresome in this life, and one of them is the careerist mindset.
So when you see the words “Career Chit-Chat,” don’t mistake it for a gathering of ambition-chasers. Understanding what I mean to say—and what I don’t—will make this clearer.
Job for life! NOT, Life for job!!
Career Chit-Chat
Sushanta Paul
Assistant Commissioner
Customs, Excise & VAT Commissionerate, Khulna
Come, let us dream!
A brief wander through the person we dream of becoming…………….. (a video clip)
During the chit-chat……..
Keep your mobile switched off—absolutely no ringing allowed.
If you need to talk to the person next to you, wait for a moment when I’m not looking your way, then go ahead.
If sleep finds you, surrender to it in such a way that you don’t disturb your neighbor’s rest. And please, don’t let your shoulder topple onto theirs as you drift off.
Ask questions only when I invite them to be asked.
No need to take notes—just listen. I’ll share everything on Facebook afterward. My Facebook ID: Sushanta Paul
These words carry weight…….
Let’s meet
The Boss of The Bosses (a video clip)
A few thoughts…………
Unwilling to study, yet desperate for a job == Wanting to hear mother’s voice, yet unwilling to marry. Legally impossible! Sorry!
A “good job”……. It’s an oxymoron!! “There exists no pure job in this world.”
The Story of a Nobody
Looking back. The tale of remaining a nobody. The story of the boy with the worst grades; the one they once thought would drop out of university; the one no one ever dreamed about. A story of repeatedly changing life’s course. A tale of not living another’s life, of not compromising with fate—the story of a happy failure, an accidental engineer, a disappointed entrepreneur. What does it feel like when hard-earned money slips away?!
Identity is more important than existence! Not being acknowledged by anyone—that’s a terrible kind of pain.
A story of letting go of tutoring. Most people study while tutoring on the side. I was different—I tutored while studying on the side. Not out of necessity, but obsession. Later, I began to wonder: what does tutoring really give us?……..Mostly money and contempt; occasionally, respect. The real joy lay in doing what others thought impossible for you to do. For the Bengali middle class, this is the great dilemma: which matters more—life itself, or a job?
Days of humiliation, nights of tears. No one says, “You’ve fallen? That’s alright, get back up again!” Everyone just lectures. How does someone survive when no one wants them? The most painful sight in the world: your parents’ tears—and knowing they fall because of you.
The cup of poison, and what comes after. Even just surviving can be enough. Why not try living a little? The life my mother gave me—to destroy it with my own hands, that is the greatest sin. Even if I’m not brilliant like ten others, even if I’m just an ordinary, unremarkable person—so be it! Have you read the tale of the swimmer and the water nymph?
Suffering is better than getting nothing at all in life. Life of Penance….. Cry, cry, only to smile better. What does ‘doing something good’ mean? It means doing what brings a smile to your parents’ faces, what lifts their heads with pride—that is doing something good.
When a person’s back hits the wall, they turn to fight. My back had been driven into that wall! I used to stand there like a beggar, searching every face for a word of kindness. No one ever said, “You can do it too.”
The story of an iftar party. The story of a get-together. In every humiliation lies a hidden opportunity. If humiliation doesn’t forge determination, then your very survival is meaningless!
I am deeply happy because I didn’t get what I asked for. God sometimes answers our prayers by not answering them. I’m grateful to Him—He rejected the prayers of my early years. There’s always enough time to understand that delay is happening.
Why don’t all prayers get answered? What’s the mystery behind it? We are each only a small part of a vast masterplan!
What is a career? Why? When?
The career of a happy cleaner…….. Before you start a career, ask yourself: what do you love? Others can’t answer that for you. At best, they know what you should love. Here’s the real problem with thinking like everyone else: you fit your potential into a predetermined box, and your achievement becomes something unremarkable, something you can’t point to or see. Whether you reduce your life to the average, that’s your choice.
Those of you here who haven’t even started a career yet—are you truly behind? What does ‘being behind’ even mean? The story of hearing about the BCS exam. I started working at least 4.5 years later than my friends.
What is a career? What makes a ‘good’ career — whether it’s a job or a business? I believe there are three things.
Social recognition
Solvency
Time to spend your earning in your own way
Living a small, contented life like a sparrow — without regret — is far better than spending long years sighing amid great abundance. Yes, you could run the rat race the way everyone else does, chasing victory like they do. But there are two problems with this. First: that race never ends. Second: even if you win, you’ll still end up a rat. You stop being a human being; you start being a rat!! The trouble with being a rat is that rats cannot enjoy a human life. What does a job really give us? We never know what comes first in our lives — the next day, or the next life? So we must choose our careers with this in mind: that we live life on our own terms before death takes us away.
Career and family — the story of filling a glass jar.
I had no aim in life — except on exam papers. Someone once asked me: what’s your plan for the next ten years regarding life and career? I answered: I’ve never even been able to plan the next ten minutes of my life. Still I’m happy. No regrets! How much does one life give us anyway? I’m a person who lives in the moment, in the now of each instant. What good is becoming so much of a careerist?
The great irony of modern people: they give more time to their boss than to their spouse. They wish their boss a happy holiday before wishing their family.
Life Lessons
I try to follow certain principles. Let me share some of them with you:
First. Sleep an average of six hours maximum each day. It’s not about sleeping longer, but sleeping well. Always keep your phone silent and keep your laptop away when you sleep.
Second. Write down the good thoughts and ideas that come to you at different moments — in your phone’s notes or in a notebook. Usually, the most beautiful thoughts never come twice.
Third. Every day, spend thirty minutes reading a motivational book or listening to a lecture. During this time, set your ego aside.
Fourth. If your mind ever becomes deeply restless and nothing seems to calm it, walk for ten minutes and count your steps as you go. Or try this instead: empty your mind of all thoughts, make it completely blank, and sit quietly for ten minutes gazing at the sky. You can read Vivekananda’s letters or Tagore’s Chhinnapatra, listen to Rabindrasangeet. Your mind will find peace.
Five. Every morning when you wake, take ten minutes to write down on paper what you need to do that day. Keep that paper with you. Make sure you note down at least one task more than you accomplished the day before. Before you sleep at night, check off what you’ve done and see if you’ve managed it all.
Six. Stay away from foolish people, or inspire those around you to do something worthwhile. The way your friends work and their habits of success can shape you profoundly. The more foolish your husband is, the greater the chance your next generation will inherit that foolishness. A foolish husband is far more dangerous to a family than a foolish wife. I watched my father since childhood—whenever he was engaged in work, he remained content. From then on, I understood that happiness lives within work itself. What you’ve learned from your family is not easy to unlearn. So be careful not to pass down to your next generation the very patterns you wish you could escape.
Seven. For work that truly needs to be done, cultivate stubbornness. Don’t let go until you’ve seen it through to completion.
Eight. Break free from the habit of considering essential someone who does not consider you essential in their life. If a person breathes well without you, there is no sense in suffocating yourself for them. The more you ache for someone, the more they savour a twisted kind of victory. Knowing how to forget the wrong person—that is a great art indeed. It matters little how long you were with them; what matters far more is how thoroughly you can erase them from your life going forward.
Nine. Develop the habit of reading quickly. Learn to skim past unnecessary passages without dwelling on them. Underline and reread the parts that matter, and keep a mental photocopy of them. This will cut down the time you spend on reading.
Ten. Look at your present condition. You will find that by grace, you have been spared many dangers and misfortunes, and you are doing well in many respects. Before you sleep each night, do not rest your head without offering gratitude. Gratitude brings dignity, mental strength, and peace.
Eleven. Read motivational books—The Secret, Outliers, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, The Power of Now, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, You Can Win—and many more. Read biographies of great people abundantly. Read The Prophet, the Gitanjali, and various religious texts with feeling and openness. When reading these books, you must do so with faith. If you judge everything in this world by reason alone, living itself may become difficult for you. Yet from all that these books contain, take only what you need. The rest you may leave behind.
Twelve. Fast at least twice a month. Fasting strengthens the mind, teaches you tolerance and humility.
Thirteen. Keep at least one good book in your bag and read it whenever you have the chance. You can also keep books in PDF form on your phone.
Fourteen. Help at least one person every day, or offer forgiveness. This will deepen your respect for yourself. Honor yourself above all else.
Fifteen. Once a week, stand on your home’s balcony and watch the dawn break. It will help clarify your thoughts.
Sixteen. A simple piece of wisdom: avoid the company of those who don’t respect others. There is little worth learning from the arrogant.
Seventeen. Build a wall around yourself. Within that walled sanctuary, give yourself ample time to do your own work, your own way. This way, you’ll accomplish more than others in the same span of time. If you give everyone access to you, you won’t be able to do your own work properly.
Eighteen. Don’t go to sleep without reading at least thirty pages of a good book each day. Save the time you spend on Facebook and read instead. Spend time with people who read. There’s no point in falling in love with someone who doesn’t read books. And if you’ve already fallen, teach them to read.
Nineteen. Spend less time with people of lesser intellect and ability than yourself. But never hurt them with your words. One conversation with a wise person is worth reading twenty books. It’s better to be alone than to waste time with the wrong company.
Twenty. Each day, do a little more than you’re capable of doing. When you manage that extra work well, buy yourself a small gift, or do something you love but haven’t had time for.
Twenty-one. One day each week, turn off your watch and phone, and spend time entirely as you please. Disconnect completely from the world outside, and do all those things you love but never have time for.
Twenty-two. When negative or troubling thoughts enter your mind, don’t try to push them out. Instead, step away from them yourself.
Twenty-three. Your phone was made for you, not for others. Answer calls selectively. Most calls aren’t important anyway, and they just waste your time. If you know beforehand—or sense—that a call will upset you or spoil your mood, don’t answer it unless it’s essential.
Twenty-four. Write down ten good qualities of someone you admire or respect. Then believe those same qualities exist within you, and practice nurturing them, no matter how difficult. Pretend to be like them. Work the way they do, with their same style. Try this for two weeks, and you’ll see a change in yourself.
Come on then, let’s all take a hit together!!
What else is there in life! (A video clip)
Twenty-five. Now and then, listen to soft melodies—Oriental or Western instrumentals—through headphones or alone in your room. Watch some excellent films. Study a few masterpiece paintings. Then take a piece of paper and write down what you felt while listening to that music or watching those films and paintings. Share it with your friends on Facebook.
Twenty-six. Before others do it, occasionally make fun of your own shortcomings in public. This will give you greater control over yourself.
Twenty-seven. Every day, do two things you don’t enjoy doing. Even if they irritate you, don’t stop. For instance, start reading a book you ought to read but have no desire to. Or call someone you need to call but keep putting off. Or clean the bathroom. This will strengthen your ability to work quickly. If most people abandon a task after thirty seconds of frustration, and you can persist for at least twenty-two minutes, you will certainly stay ahead of them. That discipline compounds.
Twenty-eight. Spend more time with people who are the way you want to become. You cannot lose weight by associating with those who love to eat.
Twenty-nine. Once a day, be silent for thirty unbroken minutes. Don’t speak to anyone during this time. It helps if you can close your eyes and dwell on an old memory of success or a moment of happiness. This builds mental strength.
Thirty. Often ask yourself: if you died right now, who outside your family would weep for you? Think about what you must do to grow that circle, and then do it.
Thirty-one. You have only two choices: either sleep late at night, or wake before dawn. If you truly cannot bear solitude at night, the second option is better. Most people stay awake in the night, squandering hours in talk. If you rise before dawn, no one will disturb you, leaving you nothing to do but study. You cannot have both the luxury of sleep and the joy of witnessing the dawn.
Thirty-two. Whatever we accomplish of real significance is the result of at least ten thousand hours of work over roughly ten years. No one in this world achieves anything of consequence overnight.
Thirty-three. Don’t suddenly start working hard at something without first understanding what you must do and what you must avoid. Only then apply yourself—not merely to labor, but to genuine, relentless effort.
Thirty-four. No one in this world rises from nothing to greatness without deliberate choice. You must decide what field you want to excel in. To spend time on something that doesn’t interest you, or that you don’t value, is simply wasting your life. Whatever you invest your time in today will eventually be what sets you apart from everyone else.
Thirty-five. The relationship between intelligence and achievement isn’t always what we assume. It’s not true that the cleverer you are, the further you’ll go. Only fifteen percent of the top-performing students from schools, colleges, and universities make it onto the list of the greats. The remaining eighty-five percent come from those whom no one ever dreamed of. So fight against yourself with your last drop of blood.
Taken from life……..
The day you’re longing for—the one no one remembers—that very day could become the finest day of your life! A story about deactivating a Facebook account on your birthday.
A single second, a piece of good news, can turn your life around. A strange moment can wipe away all the pain that came before. God never keeps anyone dishonored forever. You must wait with humility for that day of dreams and believe with all your heart that it will come. It will.
Just one mistake can push you forward with tremendous force. Being capable of making such a mistake is itself a kind of fortune. Making mistakes early in life is best.
Intellectual humility is essential. Why Google doesn’t care about hiring top college graduates? Those who aren’t accustomed to making mistakes can’t go very far.
Accept—the mistake was yours. Forgive everyone else except yourself.
Stop trying to be perfect. If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll remain who you’ve always been. There’s no such thing as perfection in this world.
Whether you’re an Oxford, MIT, Stanford, or Harvard graduate doesn’t really matter to anyone. At the end of the day, what stays in people’s minds is only your impressive behavior, your manner, your words. Nothing else.
Most people love success but deeply resent the successful person. Not everyone will like you. And you don’t need everyone to like you to make your way in this world. You need some enemies in your life. If you don’t have any, create some. Experience teaches us: Birds of the same feather feel jealous of each other. Those who come after you have already accepted one thing—that you’re ahead.
Doing something well matters more than doing it quickly. People remember how well the work was done, nothing else. Don’t make simple things hard and don’t imagine hard things are simple.
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” Saying someone’s face is ugly doesn’t make my own face any more beautiful.
You can grow in two ways. One: by becoming greater yourself. Two: by making others smaller. The second way is easier, but risky. Why?
It’s better to be a follower of the wise on Facebook than a friend of the foolish. Keep learning with humble foolishness. You cannot learn without humility. Losing once to a lion is far better than winning a hundred times against a donkey.
The power to remain silent speaks louder than a thousand words. If you truly want someone to hear you, don’t let your mouth do the talking—let your work speak instead. Your day will come. Until then, let people say what they will. Your actions talk the loudest!
Do three things.
One. Write down what you want to do.
Two. Write down how you will do it.
Three. Keep what you’ve written where your eyes can find it always. ………. When will you start doing this work? Today itself, the moment you get home!! Think on paper!
Why me? That question gets you nowhere. A priest’s tale. Caroline’s tale. Your own story: Haven’t you sometimes received honors you didn’t deserve? What goes around, comes around. The world runs on balance. You’ve scraped by with passing marks in so many tests of life—why does one failure break your spirit? Come on! F is just a grade! Never let it define you!! What if E or G were the grade for fail?
Focus on the rabbit you want to catch. If needed, change your tactics, but don’t change the rabbit. If what you’re pursuing feels difficult, then alter the path you’re taking—not the destination itself. Half of what you think is right about your effort is actually right.
What’s truly essential to win? Talent? Skill? Knowledge? No, none of these. You need two things: passion and perspective. Love your emotions. Your hands might be less beautiful than someone else’s. But without them, you’re incomplete—just as you’re incomplete without your feelings. People live by their passions. A footballer’s story. My students’ stories. Little children’s tales. When does an unemployed boy work through two sleepless nights without stopping?
From today onward, whenever you watch football or cricket, imagine yourself in that player’s position. Ask yourself what you would do. Practice this.
Fear is only as fearsome as we make it. A childhood tale of cockroaches. The story of the bumblebee. What happens when you look down from a mountain’s peak?
When you’re to look through the window, just look through, don’t look at.
Tales of the pessimists. Pessimism itself is contagious.
Spend more time with those who speak well of you and believe in your ability. When someone believes in you, that sense of responsibility it awakens within—use it. Samir sir’s story. Every husband tries to do more of the things his wife praises. The reverse happens just as naturally. Use this in your own life. Receive praise with humility, offer it with generosity.
Be a 2-dollar man. Why do people give alms to beggars?
Sometimes a goalkeeper who doesn’t run here and there actually reduces the chances of conceding a goal. So why does a goalkeeper run at all? We think, well, at least they tried. Even if they let one in, no one blames them too harshly. Stop worrying so much about what others think.
Eat that frog! The formula. Before you sit down to study, write out what you’ll tackle that day. Finish the hard and tedious subjects first. That way, you’ll breeze through the easier ones. Get your priorities straight. Once you’ve conquered a difficult subject, gift yourself something. Give yourself permission to slack off sometimes. Close the doors and windows of your room. Turn the music up full volume and dance! That’s what life is all about!
Stress Management
The story of Sachin Tendulkar.
The Main Khelega Attitude! (Video clip)
To become great in life, you need to have the habitual selfishness to move from weakness to greatness. Belittling a great person doesn’t diminish them one bit. It’s our own mental sickness when we see Humayun Ahmed not as a writer, but as Shaon’s husband. For your own sake, try to replicate the qualities of those who’ve succeeded in their respective fields. Whatever goal you’re chasing, hold it in the highest regard. Otherwise, your preparation won’t have the sincerity it needs. God honors the humble.
Notice this one thing: ninety-six percent of the world’s wealth is earned by just one percent of people. Among those who take various competitive exams, only one percent of candidates succeed. Why is that? Some of it is controlled by factors beyond our control. Don’t dwell on those. Focus on what you can control. Plan to be among that one percent! Don’t waste your energy worrying about the misfortune of the other ninety-nine percent.
A song gets stuck in your head and just keeps playing, keeps playing. No matter what kind of song it is! Sometimes it’s one you’d be embarrassed to even hum out loud! When our brain receives a signal, it only cares about what message our thoughts are sending back. Our brain works only with keywords. Choose them very carefully. Like attracts like. Let me give you a few real examples. Saiya dil mein aana re……..
Creating your own work environment. Examples from Humayun Ahmed and Sunil Gangopadhyay. The story of my poor friend.
Two small things need two hands to hold. One big thing also needs two hands. If you can’t let go of small opportunities, the big ones will slip away. Release the small fish to catch the big ones. My own story. Live like the birds do. Leave to live.
When doing any task, follow the headlight theory of a car. If you think about everything that came before and everything that comes after, your focus will scatter. Most people find the work ahead difficult, so they prefer to think about what’s easy and what discourages them from doing the work at hand.
Kuch na kaho kuch bhi na kaho (A video clip)
Doing something beautiful doesn’t require endless time. It demands emotion far more than toil or intellect. The art of accomplishing much in little time — that’s a mastery worth pursuing. …… Kumar Sanu at twenty-eight. No one kept their word. You fill up my senses. A tale from Dostoevsky. …….. Be lazy. Bill Gates’s principle.
One truth rings clear. Being a good student academically doesn’t guarantee a good career — it might not happen at all. Good students often become easy targets for others. Seize this weakness to your advantage. Try to have the last laugh. If some time in between is lost to tears, to neglect, to scorn — so be it.
Stop complaining the world is not fair. Yes,
it’s not fair. And, this unfair world is older than you and has charmed many
people much better than you.
There are two hardest steps in doing any work:
Deciding what you truly want to do, how you want to do it, and why you want to do it.
Actually beginning the work. The simplest technique to start any task is simply to start it.
Which comes first — confidence for success, or success for confidence? I can’t do it, I’m unable, I quit! The story of Shah Rukh Khan.
“It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
The difficulty level of most competitive exams is overrated. — Why? Those who top the civil service exam — they’re human too, right? That’s what I used to think. ………. Don’t tell yourself your civil service exam won’t happen, your exam will happen. Your prayers might be answered.
Your passion pays!! Books, movies, music &
of course Facebook!! No matter, whatever it is!! Basically, you were what you
loved, you’re what you love, you’ll be what you’ll love!!
If you are not thinking about your dream, you
are not thinking at all.
Why ask Bill Gates about a rice-and-lentil business? Be strategic.
Success is never deserved; it’s earned. The way you think of yourself after succeeding — as having achieved something — that same way, others will think of you after you fail, as having received something. Your failure becomes your lot.
People assume you can’t do what they can’t do, or what they’re unused to. There are certain viruses among them — they can never praise anyone, never tolerate another’s rise. Don’t let their words infect you. Whoever can’t appreciate your right actions has no right to condemn your wrongs. I despise critics more than anything. Cast them out of your life. They deserve to be ruled…. Kind words are healthier than a bowl of chicken
soup. The odd dog’s tale.
Being known as a good student from childhood is a wretched thing—you can never again afford to think small of yourself. The unbearable thought that others see you as a fool, that you must somehow be worthy of their expectations: it’s exhausting! Sometimes it’s your bad luck! People want to see you as they want, not as you want to see yourself. Still, live in your own life. Don’t listen to others, listen to your heart.
Don’t be serious, be sincere. Not everyone can do everything, after all. Accept this. Find out which work you do best.
Stop overthinking. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Que sera sera — Whatever was, was; whatever is, is; whatever will be, will be. What will be, will be. (Video clip)
Life didn’t come to us with a user-manual. So, it’s our right to use and to abuse it! Sometimes, failures are just too good! To fail successfully is an art.
Deciding what you really want matters. Our problem is, we don’t know what we want. It took me almost 2 decades to decide what I really want. When I’d decided finally, it took me only a few months to get what I really want.
Don’t only work hard, also work smartly.
Only your results are rewarded, not your efforts. This is the way the world accepts or rejects you.
What is SUCCESS?? It’s not the opposite of failure as popularly believed, it’s just living without sighs. It’s just dancing in the manner you want and making people think you dance well even if you don’t. It’s making your style others’ favourite brand even if it’s foolish. It’s sometimes making people laugh listening to your even worst jokes. It’s making others hear you even when you don’t speak. It’s taking the opportunity to tell others that meeting your previous millionth failure was essential, anyway. It’s making your failures worth-mentioning by you or by others. It’s living in your own way and let others live in their own ways.
By the way, he is joining the IPS! (Video clip)
I’d recommend looking at my Facebook notes on the BCS and IBA entrance exams. You’ll find plenty of book recommendations and many study techniques there.
Whether the cat is white or black hardly matters. The real question is: can it catch mice?
Many will tell you they’ve finished studying this or that topic. Take it easy. Just because someone finishes before you doesn’t mean they’ll have the last laugh. And if someone studies harder than you do, that’s hardly your fault. You’ve seen 3 Idiots. We hurt when a friend’s results disappoint, but we hurt more when theirs excel. Whenever I feel I can do almost nothing compared to others, I do two things.
One. I ask myself: do I actually need what they can do?
Two. I stop comparing myself to them and start comparing today’s me to yesterday’s me.
Sometimes you won’t feel like studying—I didn’t either. Wanting to study all the time isn’t a sign of mental health. Why so serious? Job for Life, not Life for Job. You don’t have to do that particular job. Your sustenance is already written. There’s so much else to do! So take a break, give studying a holiday—now and then. Don’t waste two more days being miserable because you missed two days of study. Who hasn’t learned through mistakes? When is there time for regret? You haven’t made the world’s greatest blunder. You’re not the world’s saddest soul either!
Twenty-seven thoughts
One. List the things you did in the past that brought suffering into your life. Keep that list by your pillow and read it once before sleep, or spend five minutes thinking about it. Plan how to stay away from those things next time. When temptation comes again, the memory of failure will rise unbidden in your mind. But if you haven’t planned how to resist, that memory of past failure might poison your performance this time around.
Two. Don’t worry about what needs doing in the next ten days. Think only about what needs doing today, and start doing it. The work will feel lighter.
Three. Write a love letter each week to someone of the opposite sex—someone you’ll perhaps never have—to a different person each week. Write about their various virtues. Share it on Facebook if you like. It brings a kind of pure joy. (Like how I go riding my bike thinking of Suchitra Sen from Saptapadi…or keep flirting with Madhabi Mukherjee from Charulata through eyes alone…or I look at Audrey Hepburn and think, yes, that million-dollar smile in Roman Holiday gave her away…!!)
Four. Imagine what you’d want written on your gravestone after you’re gone. Picture it, and start trying to live it. Here’s what I want on mine: The man lying here was alive before he died.
Five. Discover a technique to accomplish tasks that fall within your responsibility but bring you no joy—finish them in half the time. This way, you’ll reclaim hours for the work you truly love.
Six. Write down fifteen negative points about yourself. Next to each one, note how long you want to take to overcome it. Every so often, pull out that paper and cross off the weaknesses you’ve shed. Celebrate these small victories by doing something you genuinely enjoy.
Seven. Make a list of tasks you fear but know you should do. Make it a long list. No matter how much it grates on you, start tackling one task each day. After a few weeks, look back and measure how far you’ve come.
Eight. It matters immensely to know what we truly love doing. Once you’ve found it, once you know how to pour your sincerity and relentless effort into it, there’s no reason to fall behind. Our greatest problem is this: we don’t even know what we love.
Nine. Before you begin any work, take sufficient time to think it through—how you’ll do it, how much you’ll do, why you’re doing it. The capacity to think patiently with patience is how people travel far. Trust your intuition.
Ten. Don’t blindly follow anything. Rather than fit yourself into someone else’s mold, create your own design. Take any advice and customize it to suit your own needs.
Eleven. When anger overwhelms you, bow your head toward the ground and count backwards from one hundred to one, or fix your gaze steadily on a corner of the wall or ceiling and think of ten good things about yourself. Your rage will subside.
Twelve. Don’t criticize great people, and don’t listen to criticism of them. Doing so feeds arrogance. Truly believe this in your heart: you have no right to speak ill of someone you’re not equal to.
Thirteen. Steer clear of the overly learned and the overly clever in all areas of life. They typically either seek to harm you for their own gain, or they’ll shatter your confidence.
Fourteen. Save the time you spend watching television for prayer, reading, listening to music, or watching a truly good film.
Fifteen. Use the Kaizen method to surpass yourself. Kaizen means continuous improvement—moving gradually toward something better without ever stopping. Advance slowly, inch by inch, but never halt.
Sixteen. Every day, spend two minutes gazing steadily at the hands of a clock with undivided attention. Let no other thought enter your mind during this time. Do this for twenty-one consecutive days. Your capacity to think will sharpen.
Seventeen. Each day, write in a notebook—with the date—the ways you’ve progressed compared to the day before. Don’t reduce today’s work to make up for yesterday’s unfinished tasks; instead, extend your working hours.
Eighteen. Every day, sing a song of your choosing with full voice, or recite a poem you love. No matter what anyone says, celebrate your own desire. Sing for yourself. If something brings you joy and harms no one, don’t let anyone speak ill of it, and don’t pay heed to their petty remarks.
Nineteen. Most often, fatigue is nothing but a story we tell ourselves. When you’re unwilling to do something at a given moment, your mind keeps broadcasting the same signal: you’re tired, you’re exhausted. But notice—when you’re tired from studying, you lose all appetite for it, yet the moment a friend calls you out to roam, that fatigue vanishes. When a tedious task drains you, don’t surrender to it; instead, turn to something joyful and do it with doubled vigor. Make the moment count that way.
Twenty. Try this technique to sharpen your focus. Look closely at the small, overlooked things in your room—details you’ve never truly noticed before. Dwell on them. Ask yourself which of them serve no real purpose right now, and remove them from your space. Free yourself from what you don’t need. Often, a single unnecessary thing steals your attention from a thousand necessary ones.
Twenty-one. Never tell someone they cannot accomplish a task simply because you cannot help them with it. And never allow anyone to tell you that you cannot do something merely because they cannot assist you.
Twenty-two. Take the work that truly matters to you and do it for at least four hours every single day—continuously, for twenty-one days—whether you enjoy it or not.
Twenty-three. Those who think, “I’m from a national university—what can I possibly achieve?”—they are simply paving their own road to self-deception. This kind of thinking breeds a habit of self-forgiveness, a tendency to excuse oneself, and a refusal to embrace challenge. Through daily repetition of such thoughts, you weaken yourself; your work suffers, your passion dims. Spend less time with those whose company reinforces these old doubts and limiting beliefs. If you’ve been given a chance to pursue what you truly wish to do in life, then you are surely worthy of it. Otherwise, that opportunity would never have come your way.
Twenty-four. Whatever work you know you must stop doing—stop doing it. Turn your mind to something else instead.
Twenty-five. Whenever you have the chance, be with children as they are, play with them, tell them stories. Give them gifts. Become their beloved. It will fill you with a kind of pure, crystalline joy you can scarcely imagine.
Twenty-six. When the food is good, call the cook and praise their work. Practice speaking with a smile to those who rank below you or occupy a lesser station. Thank those who serve you—generously, often. Before the one you love, the one you hold close, dies, give them a bunch of gladiolus and say, I love you! Otherwise, those flowers will end up in some corner of their grave. What good is that? The dead cannot smell the fragrance of flowers anymore! This is the great misfortune of death: the dead are robbed of all the world’s beauty.
Twenty-seven. Eat whatever you crave when you crave it. Don’t save your finest outfit for some special day—today is that special day. If you want to travel somewhere, go when the chance comes. Don’t hoard extra money. The day you’re saving all that money for may never arrive in your life. If you feel like dancing, dance a little. This is life!
Listen to the music, feel it……….
Clear your mind of all outside thoughts………..
Think about what you really want from life………
Think of at least 3 things……… (video clip)
Let the conversation end with a story……..
First story:
A crow sat lazily on a high branch, doing nothing. Just then, a rabbit came hopping down that path. The rabbit asked the crow, “Say, can I also sit under this tree doing nothing, like you?” The crow said, “Of course you can!” So the rabbit did.
A little while later, a fox came down that same path. Seeing the rabbit sitting there, the fox pounced and ate it.
What’s the lesson? The lesson is: when you’ve climbed high enough that no one can reach you, then you can sit idle with your hands and feet at rest. But before that, you must work hard to earn the right to sit in that seat. Think about which seat you’re sitting in right now.
Second story:
A small bird was fleeing Siberia to escape the bitter winter. Suddenly it froze and fell to the ground like a piece of ice. After a while, a cow passed by and defecated on the bird. Soon, the warmth of the dung melted all the ice from the bird’s body. The bird grew so happy it began to sing. A cat sat nearby. Hearing the song, the cat pulled the bird out of the dung and ate it.
What are the lessons of this story?
The first lesson is this: Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. What this means is that those who rain criticism upon us—who scold and censure us—are not all adversaries. Many of them actually wish us well. This group includes our parents, our seniors, our teachers.
The second lesson is this: Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. What this means is that there are those who speak of rescuing us from trouble, who extend a hand, only to push us deeper into the mire. This group consists of those self-styled sages hovering about us, who say things like, “What good will the BCS exam do you? Why don’t you do something else instead?” Or they say, “You’re not cut out for the BCS.” In my view, if you cannot help a person to do something, you have no right to demoralize him or her by saying that he or she cannot do it.
It seems to me that the third lesson is the most important. It is this: When you are in the shit, always keep your mouth shut. What this means is that when you are in trouble, you must always stay silent. Success talks the loudest. Success can buy silence. Your success can silence them all. So throw down a challenge to yourself; not to others.
The only easy day was yesterday.
Even in ending, there is no end.
The Friendship Rule: Hey! The ‘block’ button is right here!!
With no work to do, we pop corn! What else is there but to sit at home and chase phantoms into the forest? … But why chase at all?
Sunk Cost: A Tale of Coffee and Cinema
Let it GO!! (Video Clip)
Questions and Answers
Good Luck!!