Career Narratives

(There was a time when I had made the noble resolve to save the nation. This piece of writing is from that period. Back then, on Facebook and beyond, I would roam about dispensing all manner of sage advice on career-building and life management to the general populace with great joy and enthusiasm. I would work inhumanly hard, completely without compensation, to benefit people. I brought countless despairing souls back from the path of suicide to the path of healthy living. I believed that if unemployment and despair could be banished from the country, peace would come to the land. In that case, I might even luck into a Nobel Peace Prize for establishing peace in Bengal. Later I discovered that it is utterly impossible to help Bengalis without taking a beating from them. Bengalis are an ungrateful, treacherous, envious, fickle, blind people. If you help a Bengali selflessly, that Bengali will surely harm you selflessly in return. Saints endanger their own lives trying to set others' lives straight. For a sinner like me, that was far beyond reach. I realized that peace is more comfortable than waiting for the Nobel Peace Prize. Inevitably, I decided to go into hibernation.)

Statutory warning: This note contains harsh words. If you don't want to be scolded, skip it.

**One.**

: Brother, I have a viva coming up. I'm very tense. What should I do?
: No problem! Being tense before an exam is a basic courtesy.
: Did you get tense?
: Do I seem ill-mannered to you?
: Brother, what are you saying! I feel like they won't ask me anything I've been studying.
: This happens to everyone.
: But how do I reduce this? Give me some tips.
: There are no tips. Prepare properly.
: Brother, please. Help me a little.
: There's only one way.
: What's that?
: Find out which board your viva is in. Then call the chairman sir or madam of that board and ask what you'll be questioned about. Study accordingly.
: Brother, you're teasing me.
: No, I'm being completely serious.
: But that's not possible.
: Then why were you wasting time thinking about it? They didn't ask me even twenty percent of what I had studied. I was the only candidate in my board who wasn't asked a single question about the Liberation War. Yet I had a lot of preparation on that. Again, they asked me many things they didn't ask others. Should I file a case against them for preparation damage? They might let you off just by asking how to cook noodles, and you might still get the job. There are no set rules for viva exams.
: That's true. But brother, I'm tense about many other things.
: What things?
: Like, for instance, my friend's husband is very powerful. He's supposedly going to make phone calls to PSC through various people. Brother, I don't have anyone. How will it work without lobbying?
: Then you can do one thing.
: What, brother?
: Convince her husband to agree to a second marriage. You agree too. Then tell him to lobby for both his wives. The idea isn't bad actually. You two friends will live like sisters for life. You'll live in happiness and peace, work your jobs.
: Brother, you got through, so you're having fun with me.
: Of course I'm having fun. But even before I got through, I never thought about such things. It never occurred to me in my imagination that I'd come first, but I felt that if not in Customs, I'd at least get a job toward the end in Police, my second choice. I fought as hard as I could for that. It never crossed my mind that I wouldn't get a job. Who doesn't get tense about viva? But I didn't have time to waste thinking about pointless things that weren't in my hands. So much to study!
: Alright, I understand. But brother, everyone's saying there will be corruption in BCS this time. Many are apparently trying to manage things with money. Starting from 10 lakhs. I don't know what to do.
: Nothing to understand. Start raising money. Cash money. Of course there will be corruption. I myself spent close to a crore to come first.
: Brother, why are you talking like this? Everyone says the same thing. You probably don't know.
: Listen, I have a friend in the 29th batch in Admin. Before getting the job, he didn't even have money to buy new tin roofing for their house. Water would fall through holes in the roof during monsoons. How much his aunt had to suffer! Forget 10 lakh rupees for my friend's job, he didn't even have the capacity to give 10 thousand rupees. Did he not get the job? There are countless others like this. How many do you want to hear? So many boys and girls from remote villages are getting jobs. Most of those who enter civil service are children from absolutely ordinary poor or middle-class families. It hurts to hear such talk from you all, understand?
: Brother, I'm sorry. Well, many will get jobs through quotas, so someone else is getting my job. It hurts to think about this too, brother.
: Your job, you mean? You don't have quota. They won't come to the seats allocated for you. 44% is only for you. Your thinking should be about the 44%, not the 56%. That's not yours. That you're not getting a job isn't the fault of those who are getting jobs. You applied knowing the system, didn't you?
: Still, is it right for this to happen?
: There's no right or wrong in the world. What happens, happens.
: But brother, this should be reduced.
: So? Reduce it. Who's stopping you?
: That's not in my hands.
: Why are you thinking about what's not in your hands? I know, this thinking gives great comfort. But studying during that time would have been useful too. The world has many, many problems. Among those problems, wasting time thinking about the ones you can't solve is just time wastage.
: Alright brother, I accept. What about those who are getting jobs with fake freedom fighter certificates? Two of my friends gave exams with fake certificates. They'll get jobs. I won't, brother.
: Then you get a certificate too.
: Brother, I don't have the taste for that.
: But you seem to have the taste for getting jobs with it.
: Brother, you say strange things. I'm not at all the way you think I am.
: Then why does it burn you up so much to see them? It will burn, that's the way of the world. But have you ever thought what benefit you get from wasting time with this burning besides time wastage? The world isn't fair. It's not your responsibility to change this unfair world. You haven't been given that much lifespan or job age, neither. In every job exam, many candidates take the exam. Less than one percent of them get jobs. Time is short. Either study and get a job, or be too clever and join that ninety-nine percent. Don't always be clever, sometimes be foolish. There's no other alternative. This is what's called a job. Stay if you accept it, leave if you don't. Jobs are very troublesome things.
: You're saying hard things, brother.
: I'm forced to say them. You've done a lot of research about BCS. Good, good. Well, when you send CV after CV to private companies and they don't call without any reason, don't you get angry? The nepotism practiced there isn't even 10 percent of what's in civil service. I've seen corporate culture very closely. Many other things happen too. Let's not go there. But I don't hear anyone complaining about that. Or does it feel better to abuse the government? Bad culture exists everywhere. You have to decide how much you're willing to accept. Accepting is what's called a job.
: Brother, you're getting angry. Alright, I accept, civil service is good.
: Hahahaha...Listen, there's no such thing as a good job in the world. Good job—to me that's the best example of an oxymoron. Still, one has to work. What else can I do? I don't have the ability to do business. Do you know why I get angry when someone says something wrong about BCS? There may be many flaws in this system. Where aren't there flaws? But this system has given the most ordinary students of our country a chance to live with dignity. They too dream of living well. Let me talk about myself. My honors CGPA was 2.74. With this CGPA, one can't even take most job exams, getting a job is much later. A student with bad results like me shouldn't get a job. But I too, like any other boy, want to work, want to see my parents happy. Given the state of the job market, I'm amazed to think that even I have a job. Just this is a lot for me. I'm grateful to this system for giving an ordinary boy like me the opportunity to work.
: Brother, I understand. I got a good scolding at the start of the new year, but the scolding was beneficial. I'll call sometimes to get scolded. Please don't mind. Can I say one last thing?
: Say it.
: Brother, I too want to be a cadre like you, but I don't want to study. What can be done? Please brother, don't scold me. Give me a good shortcut idea.
: You want to hear 'mother' called, but don't want to marry—that doesn't work.
: Okay brother, forget it, I don't need it anymore. I got my answer. Be very, very, very well.
: Hahahaha...Alright, you be very well too.

(The person I had the above conversation with is a female ASP from the 33rd batch.)

**Two.**

Some strange questions. Along with my answers. I remembered a few. Sharing them.

Brother, how did you get a chance at IBA and also do well in BCS?
By studying.

Well, what would I have to do to break your written marks record?
Get a total of 645.

Brother, what dress should I wear to the viva?
Green shirt, white tie, yellow pants, red shoes.

Brother, I don't feel like studying at all. What can I do? (A girl asked this.)
Tell your parents to get you married. What's the need! Someone's studying for you anyway.

Which company's pen did you write with in the exam?
A Bangladeshi company's.

Which ink pen is best for writing in exams?
White ink.

Which publisher's guide book would be best?
The market publisher's.

Brother, you said you answered in Bengali in the BCS exam.

Did you write all subjects in Bengali?
No, I took the English exam in English, and the math exam in math.
What’s the easiest way to become a BCS cadre on the first try?
Taking the exam well the first time.
What did you do when you felt sleepy while studying?
I slept.
What did you do when you didn’t feel like studying?
I’d send someone a Facebook text like this.
Tell me the name of a good book that will help me learn English well.
An English dictionary.
Would it work if I bought the Oxford Dictionary English-to-Bengali?
No, buy the Bengali-to-English one.
How many hours a day did you study? How many hours did you sleep?
I had no idea anyone would ask this. If I’d known, I would have kept track with a stopwatch.
My girlfriend very likely loves another guy too. What should I do?
You should very likely love another girl too.
Brother, today is my girlfriend’s birthday. Could you write a beautiful message for her? I’ll send it to her.
Give me her number. You won’t have to trouble yourself—I’ll send it directly.
Why do you selectively like girls’ photos?
Because I like girls.
Brother, why aren’t you getting married?
Because no one is marrying me.
Well, why don’t you have a girlfriend? (A girl’s question)
Because you don’t love me.
Brother, I want to write like you. What do I need to do?
Use Avro keyboard.
Do you love someone? If so, whom?
I do. You.
Brother, I want to speak beautifully like you. What do I need to do?
You need to speak beautifully too.
Brother, how can I get myself away from Facebook?
By turning off your internet connection.
Brother, sometimes I feel like dying. I want to live.
Alright, live.
Brother, I’d be very happy if you accepted me.
As what?
Brother, why did you study engineering and then join civil service?
Sorry brother, that was a mistake. This mistake won’t happen again.
Why do you keep girls’ friend requests hanging?
Because they hang there.
If I send you math problems occasionally, will you solve them?
Not occasionally, please—send them all the time.
Will you prepare 10-12 sets of model test questions for us, please?
Brother, isn’t that too few?
Brother, you said you wanted to be a writer. Will you write a BCS guide for us, please?
Only BCS? What did bank jobs ever do wrong?
You’re so busy all day. Would you kindly talk to me for 15 minutes sometimes after 12:00 AM?
I don’t talk to boys so late at night.
Why don’t you answer my phone calls?
Why should I have to answer your calls?
So many, many, many more strange questions!! The punishment for coming first in BCS. I can’t remember any more right now. Sometimes I think I should just give up everything and become a family man.
Three.
I’m sharing a letter from my Facebook inbox.
“Brother, please accept my greetings. Hope you’re well. I’m one of your humble followers. I need your help with something. That’s why I’m messaging you.
I’m fairly confident about my abilities. I have the qualifications to be among the top 5 in the BCS merit list. If possible, I’ll come first like you. I don’t like taking BCS repeatedly, so I dream of becoming a cadre on the first try, and staying right at the top. In my opinion, there’s no point becoming a cadre from the bottom ranks. If I’m going to be a cadre, I’ll be in the front row. That’s my plan.
Now the question is, is this possible? If it’s possible, give me some tips. I don’t worry about prelims. I’ll pass that. What do I need to do for written? What books should I read? Which series of books should I follow for which subjects? Please write me a list of books. If possible, also tell me how much to read from which book. I’m from a middle-class family. So waiting for a job after graduation isn’t possible for me. I want to get into a job immediately after graduating. My long-time dream is to become a BCS cadre. Private jobs aren’t good. So even after getting a chance in Applied Physics at Dhaka University after passing HSC in 2012, I’m studying Marketing to make my preparation easier. I know about all cadres fairly well. I know what each cadre’s responsibilities are, what the benefits are. I have more or less knowledge about everything in civil service.
Now if you help me in this matter, I’ll be grateful to you. Stay well.
One more thing. I know you’ll be annoyed, but I’ll say it anyway. I don’t feel like studying. I feel like getting into a job right now. If there’s any solution to this, please let me know.”
The letter ends here. Tell me what answer can be given to this letter. Being a gentleman has many problems. You can’t scold someone as much as you want. I only replied to the letter writer, “Best wishes for you. Stay well.”
What I wanted to reply but didn’t, I’m writing that.
# None of my followers are insignificant. Neither are you. You’re confident about your abilities, but how confident are you about your luck? Who can tell the future? I don’t believe in luck myself, but I believe BCS believes in luck. Does having qualifications always mean a person reaches their desired goal? Are you sure? What does qualification mean? I have a very close friend, extremely talented. Always came first in exams. I don’t have even a fraction of his qualifications. That friend of mine has taken BCS 4 times. Hasn’t succeeded. What would you call this? Can you reconcile this equation? I can’t.
# Am I sitting here selling some magic potion for coming first that I received in a dream? Does anyone take an exam to come first? I never had the audacity to even think such a thing. I took the exam to get a job. ICS officer and litterateur Annada Shankar Roy came first in the ICS exam on his second try. He wrote in his autobiography that he took the exam specifically to come first. This seemed somewhat exaggerated to me. Would he have written that if he hadn’t come first? I’m reminded of a chemistry teacher from Chittagong College. He used to say in class, “Great men say great things. Since I’ve become great, shouldn’t I say great things?”
# Who likes taking BCS repeatedly? Who enjoys taking boring job exams for fun? “There’s no point becoming a cadre from the bottom ranks.” Where did you get the courage to say this? How much do you really know about civil service? Do you have the slightest idea about the job market? From your words, it seems even if your whole family took BCS together, nothing would work. I’m sorry for my rude prediction. Why should you think those who rank lower are less qualified than those who rank higher? What makes you think your result will determine your position in service? From what I’ve seen, generally the better someone does at entry level, the more incompetent they become on the playing field. “If I’m going to be a cadre, I’ll be in the front row. That’s my plan.” Drop all these plans. First get a job and show me. Study for the job. We’ll see about the rest.
# “I don’t worry about prelims.” Oh my! I myself was worried whether I’d pass prelims at all. You’re a genius. What authority do I have to give you advice? Have you ever actually passed prelims? There’s no trouble buying a plane ticket. That doesn’t mean you can go abroad. You need a passport to go abroad. Do you realize that?
# Why do you want a list of guidebooks from me? How would I know which books have been doing well recently? Just because I got good results reading certain books, why should you read the same books? Go to a bookstore, browse through books, buy books. The world isn’t that simple. I believe in the ‘learn by doing’ principle. What if you mistakenly buy a ‘less good’ book? So what if you do! What’s the problem? You’re unemployed, you have no money. Stop, brother, stop. An unemployed person can fall in love, smoke cigarettes, but can’t buy books? Really? People don’t develop affection for anything unless they spend their own pocket money on it. My own policy in these matters: Less paid, less earned. Unpaid, unearned.
# How many middle-class children get jobs immediately after graduating? You need a job—what’s that to employers? You’re from a middle-class family, you need a job—try to use this emotion constructively. Prepare yourself well. Also make some changes to your perspective. If you keep doing what you’ve been doing all this time, you’ll keep getting what you’ve been getting. To change what you get, you have to change how you do things. You will definitely get a job.
# “Private jobs aren’t good.” Let me correct that a bit, shall I? The statement should be: “No job is good.” Since when are jobs good? Like Jibanananda, let me say: “There is no pure job in this world.” People work jobs and curse jobs. There’s no such thing as a ‘good job’ in the world. A job inherently means dispassionate compromise with yourself. Who takes a job to heart? A job means accepting. How much you’re willing to accept determines which job is right for you. You have to work anyway. What else would we do? The reason I can say jobs aren’t good is because I have a job. Otherwise I’d stay quiet and look for a job. And another thing: “Private jobs aren’t good.” Who are you to say this? What right do you have to say that those who are doing them are worse off? Have you ever actually done a private job?
# Your knowledge about jobs is quite something, I see! I don’t even have that much myself yet. So brother, do you have knowledge about how to actually get a job? You passed HSC in 2012. That means you’re in second or third year of honors now. Why worry so much about jobs right now? Enjoy your university life. Study your honors properly. “Even after getting a chance in Applied Physics”—what does this mean? Why are you elevating one subject? No subject is above another. We’re the ones who elevate one subject, demote another. Are there more opportunities for slacking off in Marketing? Who told you that? I think this opportunity exists in every department in the world. You just need to know how to create opportunities! Enrich yourself. Just studying isn’t enough. Anyone can do that. Learn new things. Build a strong foundation for yourself. You’ll never get this opportunity again in your life.
# Brother, I’ve scolded you a lot. Now let me speak with some affection, moving from formal ‘you’ to informal ‘you.’ Dear younger brother, let me address your last point. Study your honors now. Simultaneously strengthen your foundation. After graduating, prepare yourself very well. You want to become a father but don’t want to get married—how does that work? Or should it?

It’s natural not to feel like studying. Who really wants to do this tedious preparation for these jobs anyway? Take the BCS, for instance. If you’ve decided that this is the job you’ll comfortably do for at least 30 years, how can you not endure three months of sleepless nights and hard work for it? The world hasn’t become that easy yet, friend.

P.S. Let me share an interesting fact. Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose ranked fourth in the ICS examination merit list. For a Bengali boy to achieve such results, surpassing the English, was extremely difficult in those days. His marks in English in the written examination were the highest. The examiner who graded his paper couldn’t believe that it belonged to a Bengali boy. Do you think he achieved those results with just nine months of preparation? What do you all think?