(On 17/10/2015, at the Career Chat held at the International Islamic University, Chittagong, I spoke for nearly 3 hours—here I’m sharing about 30% of what I said.)
Disclaimer:
Among the few human attitudes that have irritated me most in this life, one is: the careerist attitude
So seeing the name ‘Career Chat,’ please don’t take this as a session about becoming a careerist. This will help you understand what I want to say and what I don’t want to say.
Job for life! NOT, Life for job!!
Career Chat
Sushanta Paul
Assistant Commissioner
Customs, Excise and VAT Commissionerate, Khulna
Come, let’s dream!
Let’s take a little journey with the person of our dreams…………….. (I showed a video clip)
During the chat……..
Mobile phones must not ring under any circumstances
If you need to take a call, you must go outside the hall
If you need to talk to the person next to you, do so when I’m not looking in your direction
If you feel sleepy, sleep in a way that doesn’t disturb your neighbor. Don’t lean on your neighbor’s shoulder while sleeping
Ask questions only when I ask for them, and then
No need to take notes, just listen. I’ll share everything on Facebook. My Facebook ID: Sushanta Paul
These words are useful…….
A few words…………
Quota: Someone else’s beautiful wife! She who is not mine………
BCS: ‘Den of corruption’
BCS officer: Voluntary consent to sell one’s freedom
Don’t want to study, but want to be a BCS cadre == Want to hear mother’s call, but don’t want to get married. Legitimately impossible! Sorry!
‘Good job’……. It’s an oxymoron!! “There is no pure job in this world.”
A Nobody’s Story
Looking back. The story of remaining a nobody. The story of the boy who got the worst results; who at one time wasn’t even supposed to complete his honors, whom no one ever dreamed about. The story of repeatedly changing life’s direction. The story of a happy failed accidental engineer who didn’t live in someone else’s life, who didn’t compromise with life. The story of a frustrated entrepreneur. How it feels when hard-earned money goes down the drain!!
Identity is more important than existence! Not getting attention from anyone is a terribly painful thing.
The story of quitting tutoring. People tutor alongside studying. But I used to study alongside tutoring. Out of passion, not necessity. Later I thought, what does tutoring actually give us?……..Usually money and contempt; occasionally respect. The most joyful work is one that others think you cannot do. In the life of the Bengali middle class, whether life is greater or job is greater—this is a great dilemma!
Days of humiliation, nights of tears. “You’ve fallen? Alright, get up and try again!” No one says this, everyone just lectures! How does someone survive when no one wants them? The most painful sight in the world: seeing parents’ tears, for which I am responsible.
The price of the poisoned chalice and thereafter. Just staying alive can accomplish many things. Let me just try living a little! Taking the life my mother gave me and ending it with my own hands would be a great sin! If not like ten brilliant people, then even as a completely dim person! Have you read The Swimmer and the Water Maiden?
In life, it’s better to suffer than to get nothing at all. Cry, cry, only to smile better. What does ‘doing something good’ mean? Doing what brings smiles to your parents’ and loved ones’ faces, what makes them hold their heads high—that’s doing something good.
When a person’s back is against the wall, they turn around and fight. My back had become embedded in that wall! How desperately I would look at everyone’s faces, yearning for just a sympathetic word! No one would say, “I can do it too.”
The story of the iftar party. The story of get-togethers. With every humiliation, opportunity lies hidden.
I am very happy because I didn’t get what I wanted. God sometimes answers our prayers by not answering our prayers. Thank God, He didn’t answer my early life’s prayers. When things are getting late, there’s always time to understand that.
Why aren’t all prayers answered? What’s the mystery behind it? We are each merely part of a vast master plan!
What is Career, Why, When?
Before starting a career, ask yourself what you enjoy. Others cannot answer this. At best, they know what you should enjoy. The biggest disadvantage of thinking like everyone else is that whatever capacity you actually have falls into a predetermined pattern, and your achievement becomes nothing that can be called or seen as distinct. Whether you’ll put your life into mediocrity—it’s your choice.
Those of you here who haven’t even started your careers yet—are you really behind? What does ‘being behind’ actually mean? The story of hearing about BCS. I started working at least 4.5 years after my friends.
What is a career? What does a ‘good’ career (whether job or business) have? I think it has 3 things:
Social recognition
Solvency
Time to spend your earning in your own way
Rather than living long sighing amid much abundance, it’s better to live a small sparrow’s life without regret. Yes, you can run like everyone else, like a mouse trying to win the rat race. But there are two problems with this. One: This race never ends. Two: Even if you win this race, you’ll still remain a mouse in the end. The problem with being a mouse is that mice cannot enjoy human life. How much does a person really get from a job? We never know what will come first in our lives…… the next day? Or the next life? So career should be chosen keeping in mind that we can live life our own way before death.
Career & Family—the story of filling a glass jar.
I had no Aim in Life, except on exam papers. Someone once asked me, what’s your 10-year plan regarding life and career? I answered, I’ve never been able to make even a 10-minute plan in my life. Still I’m happy. No regrets! How much does a person really get in one lifetime? I’m someone who lives in the world of each moment. What’s the point of being so careerist?
Modern man’s great irony: spends more time with the boss than with the wife. Wishes boss on Eid and Puja first, family later.
Taken from life…….
The day you want no one to remember could be the best day of your life! The story of deactivating Facebook account on birthdays.
Just one second, one piece of good news can change your life’s direction. A strange moment can make you forget all previous suffering. Allah never keeps anyone dishonored forever. You have to wait humbly for that dream day and believe from the heart that the day will surely come.
Just one mistake can give you a tremendous push forward. Being able to make such a mistake is also a matter of good fortune. Making mistakes early in life is best.
Having intellectual humility is very important. Why Google doesn’t care about hiring top college graduates? Those who aren’t used to making mistakes can’t go very far.
Accept that the mistake is yours. Forgive everyone except yourself.
Give up trying to be perfect. If you keep doing what you’ve been doing all this time, you’ll remain as you’ve always been. There’s nothing perfect in this world.
Whether you’re an Oxford, MIT, Stanford, or Harvard graduate—no one really cares about that. At the end of the day, only your impressive behavior, manners, and conversation remain in others’ minds. Nothing else.
Most people love success, but deep down, they despise successful individuals. Not everyone will like you. In navigating this world, you don’t need everyone anyway. You need some enemies in your life. If you don’t have any, create some. Experience teaches us that birds of the same feather feel jealous of each other. Those who pursue you have already accepted that you are ahead.
Doing something well is more important than doing it quickly. People remember how well a task was done—that’s all. Don’t complicate simple tasks, and don’t underestimate difficult ones.
“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” Saying someone looks bad doesn’t make my own face any more beautiful.
There are two ways to become great. One: By growing yourself. Two: By diminishing others. The second way is easier, but risky. Why?
It’s better to be a wise person’s follower on Facebook than a fool’s friend. Keep learning with humility. You cannot learn without humility. It’s far better to lose once fighting a lion than to win a hundred times fighting a donkey.
The power of not making someone listen is far greater than making them listen. If you wish to make someone hear something, do it through your actions, not your words. Your day will come too. Until then, let people talk. Your actions talk the loudest!
Do three things:
One: Write down what you want to do.
Two: Write down how you will do it.
Three: Keep what you’ve written in front of your eyes. When will you start this work? As soon as you get home today!!
Love your emotions. Your hand may be less beautiful than many others. But just as you would be incomplete without it, you are equally incomplete without your emotions. People live with their emotions.
Asking “Why me?” serves no purpose. The story of a priest. Caroline’s story. Your own story: Have you never received honor you didn’t deserve? What goes around, comes around. The world operates on balance. You’ve passed many exams with luck. Why be so upset failing one now? Come on! F is just a grade! Never let it define you!!
Focus on the rabbit you want to get. If needed, change the tactics, but don’t change the rabbit. If what you’re pursuing seems difficult, change the manner of your approach, not your goal. Half of what you think is right about your efforts is actually right.
What’s essential to win? Intelligence? Skill? Knowledge? No, none of these. Two things are needed: emotion and perspective. The footballer’s story. My students’ stories. Stories of small children. The story of staying awake for two nights.
From now on, whenever you watch football or cricket, imagine what you would do in that player’s position. Practice this.
Fear is only as fearful as the fear we feel. The story of being afraid of cockroaches in childhood. The bumblebee’s story. What happens when you look down from the top of a mountain?
When you’re to look through the window, just look through, don’t look at.
The story of pessimists. Pessimism is always contagious.
Spend more time with those who speak well of you and have faith in your abilities. When someone speaks well of you, use the sense of responsibility that awakens within you. Samar sir’s story. Every husband tries to do more of what his wife praises. The opposite also happens the same way. Use this in your life. Listen to praise with humility, offer praise with generosity.
Be a 2-dollar man.
Sometimes a goalkeeper reduces the chances of conceding by not running around frantically. Why does the goalkeeper run? We think, at least he tried. Even if a goal is scored, no one blames him much. Think less about what others are thinking.
Eat that frog! formula. Before sitting down to study, write down what you’ll study that day. Finish the difficult and boring subjects first. This way you can complete the easy ones much faster. Set your priorities right. Give yourself a gift when you finish a difficult subject. Sometimes allow yourself the opportunity to slack off. Close the doors and windows of your room. Play music at full volume and dance! What’s there to lose!
Stress Management
Sachin Tendulkar’s story.
The Main Khelega Attitude! (Video clip)
To become great in life, you need a habitual ‘selfish’ weakness to greatness. Belittling a great person doesn’t diminish them at all. Seeing Humayun Ahmed not as a writer but as Shaon’s husband is our own mental illness. For your own benefit, try to replicate the qualities of those who are successful in their respective fields. Whatever goal you want to reach, maintain tremendous respect for that goal. Otherwise, sincerity doesn’t come properly in preparation. Allah honors the humble.
Notice something. Ninety-six percent of the world’s wealth is earned by just one percent of people. Among those who take the BCS exam, only one percent become cadres. Why? Some of this is controlled by factors beyond our control. Don’t worry about those. Use what’s within your control. Plan to be among those 1%! Think less about the misfortune of the other 99%.
Once a song gets into your head, it keeps playing and playing. Whatever kind of song it may be! Maybe such a song entered that you’d be embarrassed to even hum! When our brain receives a signal, it only sees what signal our thoughts are sending. Our brain works only with keywords. Choose them very carefully. Like attracts like. Let me give some real examples. Saiya dil me aana re……..
Creating your own work environment. Examples of Humayun Ahmed and Sunil Gangopadhyay.
It takes two hands to hold two small things. It takes two hands to hold one big thing too. If you can’t let go of small opportunities, big opportunities will slip away. My own story. Live like birds. Leave to live.
When doing a task, follow the car headlight theory. Thinking about everything before and after the entire subject will inevitably scatter your attention. Most people think upcoming tasks seem difficult, so they prefer to think about what’s easy to think about and discourages them from doing the tasks ahead.
No one kept their word (Video clip)
Doing something excellent doesn’t necessarily require a lot of time. To create something beautiful, emotion is more necessary than hard work or intelligence. Knowing how to do many things in less time is a great art. … No one kept their word. You fill up my senses. Kumar Sanu’s 28. Dostoevsky’s story. … Be lazy. Bill Gates’ principle.
One thing is very true. Being a good student academically doesn’t necessarily mean having a good career. Good students often see you as an easy target. Use this weakness of theirs to your advantage. Try to have the last laugh. Let some time in between pass in tears, neglect, contempt.
Stop complaining the world is not fair. Yes, it’s not fair. And, this unfair world is older than you and has charmed many people much better than you.
The two most difficult steps in doing any work:
Deciding what you actually want to do, how you want to do it, why you want to do it.
Actually starting the work. The easiest technique to start any work is to actually start the work.
Is confidence necessary for success, or is success necessary for confidence? I can’t do it, I can’t anymore, I quit! Shah Rukh Khan’s story.
“It always seems impossible until it’s done.” The difficulty level of most of the competitive exams is overrated. — Why? Those who rank first in civil service exams are human, aren’t they? I used to think such things. … Don’t think you won’t pass BCS. Your prayer might come true.
Your passion pays!! Books, movies, music & of course Facebook!! No matter, whatever it is!! Basically, you were what you loved, you’re what you love, you’ll be what you’ll love!!
If you are not thinking about your dream, you are not thinking at all.
What’s the point of asking Bill Gates for ideas about rice and lentil business? Be strategic.
Success can never be deserved; success must be earned. The way you think to yourself after achieving success—that this is your accomplishment—is exactly how others think to themselves after you fail—that this is what you deserve.
People assume that what they cannot do, or what they are not accustomed to, you too will be unable to do. There are certain viruses who can never praise anyone or tolerate anyone’s success. Never let yourself be influenced by their words. Those who cannot praise your good work have no right to criticize your mistakes. I despise fault-finders more than anyone else. Cast them out of your life. Only those deserve to rule who… Kind words are healthier than a bowl of chicken soup. The tale of a strange dog.
Being known as a good student in childhood is an awkward thing—you can never think of yourself as small again. The unfamiliarity of accepting that others think me a fool is deeply painful! Sometimes it’s your bad luck! People want to see you as they want, not as you want to see yourself. Still, live in your own life. Don’t listen to others, listen to your heart.
Don’t be serious, be sincere. Not everyone can do everything. Accept this. Figure out which task you do best.
Stop overthinking. “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Que sera sera—Whatever was, was; whatever is, is; whatever will be, will be. What will happen, will happen.
Life didn’t come to us with a user-manual. So, it’s our right to use and to abuse it! Sometimes, failures are just too good! To fail successfully is an art.
Deciding what you really want matters. Our problem is, we don’t know what we want. It took me almost 2 decades to decide what I really want. When I’d decided finally, it took me only a few months to get what I really want.
Don’t only work hard, also work smartly.
Only your results are rewarded, not your efforts. This is the way the world accepts or rejects you.
What is SUCCESS?? It’s not the opposite of failure as popularly believed, it’s just living without sighs. It’s just dancing in the manner you want and making people think you dance well even if you don’t. It’s making your style others’ favourite brand even if it’s foolish. It’s sometimes making people laugh listening to your even worst jokes. It’s making others hear you even when you don’t speak. It’s taking the opportunity to tell others that meeting your previous millionth failure was essential, anyway. It’s making your failures worth-mentioning by you or by others. It’s living in your own way and let others live in their own ways.
Let our conversation end with stories…
First story:
A crow was sitting idly on a high branch of a tree, doing nothing. Just then, a rabbit was passing by on that path. The rabbit asked the crow, “Brother, can I also sit under this tree doing nothing like you?” The crow said, “Certainly you can!” The rabbit did just that.
After a while, a fox was passing by on that path. Seeing the rabbit sitting there, the fox pounced on it and devoured it.
What is the lesson of this story? The lesson is: when you are sitting so high that no one can touch you, then you can sit with your hands and feet folded. However, before that, you must work hard to earn the qualification to sit in that position. Think about which position you are sitting in right now.
Second story:
To escape the severity of winter, a small bird was leaving Siberia. Suddenly the bird froze and fell to the ground like a chunk of ice. Some time later, a cow walking down that path defecated on the bird. After a while, the warmth of the dung melted all the ice on the bird’s body. The bird then began to sing joyfully. A cat was sitting nearby. Hearing the song, the cat pulled the bird out of the dung and ate it.
What are the lessons of this story?
The first lesson is: Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy. This means that not everyone who throws dirt on us—that is, scolds us—is our enemy; many of them want what’s best for us. This group includes our parents, seniors, teachers.
The second lesson is: Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend. This means there are many who extend their hands saying they will rescue us from danger, only to plunge us into greater peril. This group includes those great pundits around us who say, “What’s the point of taking the BCS exam? Do something else instead.” Or they say, “You can’t pass the BCS.” I believe: If you cannot help a person to do something, you have no right to demoralize him/her saying that he/she cannot do it.
I think the third lesson is the most important. It is: When you are in the shit, always keep your mouth shut!! This means when you are in trouble, always keep your mouth closed. Success talks the loudest. Success can buy silence. Your success can silence everyone. So, throw challenges at yourself; not at others.
The end that is not the end
The Friendship Rule:
Boss! The ‘block’ button is here!!
The story of sunk cost: (I told this through a story.)
Let it GO!! (video clip)
(I told the success story of a happy cleaner.)
no easy day, the only easy day was yesterday
Good Luck!
Question and answer session
Thank you all