By the seashore waiting, the shadow of blue collyrium

  
Tell me this! The one around whom you gathered all those offerings—
why did you abandon her so and walk away, Alok?
If you had to go, why do you still nurture her within your mind?
  
You understand so well the sharpness of pain,
yet why have you never learned the piercing ache of waiting?
  
I know you love her far more than you love me.
Of course you do, Alok! Your very being revolves around her!
  
More than the reality-bound you that everyone sees,
your true self is worth so much more to me, Alok!
  
If you don't honor the claim of staying close by staying close,
then everyone will say this is nothing but child's play!
  
I may be insignificant, yet the one who waited—
how do I console that heart, tell me? I know, perhaps
this isn't neglect, nor indifference, but still it hurts!
  
If you felt such pain, could you stand there so unmoved? You couldn't!
You'd storm away like one deranged, flying the flag of wounded pride,
declaring, "Keep your precious self to yourself—I'm leaving!"
  
Then you'd puff your cheeks, ready to punish yourself,
and flee to distant horizons where no one could touch you!
Like a shy mimosa, you'd fold inward, fold away the small garden of your heart.
  
Alok, you loved her well, yet in loving her
she vanished somehow before you could hold her close!
Are you punishing the whole world for that uncommitted crime? Does this make sense, Alok?
  
When someone gives with a full heart, you must receive with both hands wide!
Not neglect, not indifference—you simply didn't wait, Alok!
You couldn't grasp the breath and pulse of a heart-wrung lifetime.
  
In that very exuberance where all melodies had dissolved,
like sunlight dying out, this heart was left scarred!
Why didn't you understand, Alok? This was never supposed to happen...
  
I've seen an Alok sweeping the streets. Wherever there's dirt, he clears it all away.
They haven't slept either. I've only heard sounds. Their footsteps—
what if your footsteps merge with theirs? What if you return and don't find me?
That's why I keep watching, so two leaves don't become one!
  
If you go back, all waiting will be lost.
You've only learned to disappear, learned to hide.
What good will come of this, tell me?
  
You spent this sleepless night just dreaming, Alok! While I
sacrificed all my dreams in ceaseless vigil!
  
Alok, today I've drawn mountains of complaint and planted them in your chest.
Stroke them if you wish—a lone bird wept and flew away to distant skies.
  
Before leaving, that bird left behind a magic feather.
Keep that feather close to your heart, remember—she will come home.
The day you forget all suffering and laugh anew,
forget all your sorrows, that very day she'll come, you'll see!
  
At parting, even if she'd asked the sea to hide me, it wouldn't have kept me concealed.
Without telling anyone anything, you just abandoned me, Alok?
Then have I not yet come into this world with the strength to keep gazing at you?
  
You've loved that imagined you far more than the real me.
That's why you promised to return home, yet see—
in the end you took your true self's tireless hand. So tell me, who do you really love, Alok?