Bonsai of Thoughts: Forty-One

1. Whether I live or have died—
you never once inquired!
Why, tell me?
Did you forget because you don't love me?
Or were you afraid because I do love you?

2. Come, let us change our names today!
Come, let us become strangers...to ourselves, to the world!
Come, let us both fall in love again!
We'll both be in that love, but as two new people!

3. Where exactly the pain lies, how can I say, friend,
when my entire life has become a mirror of torment!

4. Whether you love me or not, I don't care!
Whether you respect me or not, I don't care!
Whether you've touched someone or not, I don't care!
How high or low you stand, I don't care!
If I cannot be well when you are beside me,
then whatever you are, whoever you are,
I don't want to have you or keep you!

5. Does everyone fall in love with you?
Or do you actually lay the trap yourself?

6. It rained all over the city,
yet somehow not in my house!
What mockery!
Why did the rain lose all confidence when it came to my house!

7. Do you remember whom you first kissed in love?
Or can you only kiss when you don't love at all?

8. Why do you think this night won't end!
Think instead: let this night never end!

9. The finest chapters of my life were those
when life made me weep!
Now that I've learned to laugh,
all my tears have dried up!

10. If I could forget what has happened,
then everything that will happen would be worth remembering!

11. I haven't fallen in love with you because you read my poetry; many people do that!
I've fallen in love with you because drowning in your eyes, I write so much poetry!

12. Because you don't love,
you see rumors even in truth,
you seek truth only in rumors!

13. How do I make my heart understand
that I love the very person
who keeps my heart perpetually heavy!
This heart has its dignity too!

14. This much that I love you—
I could never tell you out of fear!
Not knowing whether you love me, I can bear that;
but how do I keep away the terror of rejection!

15. I don't know how I am.
But I hear from everyone that I'm not well!

16. Fine, don't meet me; there's no need!
I understand exactly when people suddenly become busy!

17. That I won't have you in this life—
why don't you tell me this clearly
so I can understand?
Why hold onto someone you can never keep!?

18. Don't threaten me with death so often!
If you die, you won't go somewhere
where you'll be the first to go, where no one has gone before!
It's a familiar path—why show such fear?

19. It's not that laughter is forbidden in heaven!
I'm only saying, if I can live laughing on earth,
what need is there to go to heaven?

20. If you become angry seeing my love,
then I'll learn to love your anger too!