Bonsai of Thoughts: Forty-Four

1. I am a lover, but not reckless.
You are reckless, but not a lover.
This is precisely where our distance lies!

2. If I marry, it will be someone
who doesn't love me at all!
Already I'm in this state from the blows of your love—
how could I endure such suffering for a lifetime!?

3. As much as you love,
you bind with chains even more.
Have you purchased me with your love
that you wish to keep me as such a slave?

4. These days I don't block anymore,
I just check occasionally
whether I still remember the method of blocking at all!

5. Now I have only leisure.
I don't wish to hear anyone,
I don't wish to see anyone,
I don't even wish to touch anyone.
Now I don't wish for anything at all.
Now I have only leisure.

6. I cannot forget you no matter what.
Your photograph is so beautiful that I cannot even burn it.

7. Everyone wants to grow up;
even he who has already grown up before growing up is in that group!
How can one grow up without knowing how to be small!

8. Testing and testing love,
till today you haven't been able to feel love itself, beloved!

9. What kind of love is this!
One person in the mind, another in the eyes, someone else on the lips, yet another before you!
Is this too love!?

10. Just looking at your eyes I can tell
how much punishment awaits me!
Is there any sin greater than
falling in love with someone like you yet being unable to love!

11. Wait, one day you'll understand yourself
that you were never mine!
If you had been, then you would have returned!
That day you won't return, and thus you'll understand,
though even then you won't admit it aloud!

12. Because I didn't get you in this life,
I nurture the dream of having you in the next.
If I hadn't saved all hope for the next life,
how could I have lived in this one!?

13. Today none of you are speaking to me.
Tomorrow these very same people will come running to speak to my corpse!
How do you live with so much duplicity stored in your hearts!

14. Why do you think my life is incomplete without you?
Had you not come, I wouldn't have wanted to complete life at all!

15. Raising both hands to God, I found you.
Having found you, I completely forgot God!
If I raise both hands again today, will I get you once more?

16. Come, let's make a pact.
Six months you'll love, six months I will.
Six months you'll take sorrow, six months I will.

Of course, we could do without the second pact!

17. Are you leaving?
When will we meet again?
You won't forget me, will you?

Had I known you'd really leave, would I have told you to go even by mistake!?

18. You look beautiful when you smile.
That's why no matter how much you make me cry,
I arrange for all your smiles.
I cannot help being this selfish!

19. In war
if you win, I win too;
if we lose, only we lose!

20. One day we'll both leave this world behind!
What extra wealth will you gain today by leaving my world behind?