Blessings are all we seek!

Among the people we know, we invite those we consider close to our weddings, receptions, and personal or family occasions. But then at these very gatherings, uninvited guests also turn up—people we might not even know, though perhaps one of our invited guests does. Keep this in mind: the desire to eat for free isn't called poverty, it's called habit.

A couple of people slip from our minds and get left off our guest list by accident. Then they feel hurt or annoyed. Later we have to apologize to them too! Natural enough! They're relatives or friends, after all!

Now, think about yourself! Those people you've been upset with for forgetting to invite you—have you ever bothered to check how they're doing? Have you ever stood by them during their troubles? I'm not talking about offering prayers, mind you, but actually standing by them directly to help or offer emotional support. Don't tell me that not everyone has the time or ability to stand by others, so you just prayed instead! Anyone can make such claims, and they do! Does anyone ever really know the truth or effectiveness of such claims? A helping hand can soothe a tormented heart more than tears of prayer ever could.

You've done none of these things, have you? On what logic do you base such "rights" or expectations from someone toward whom you have no such responsibilities? Whenever the thought crosses your mind, "So-and-so didn't invite me to their wedding!", let this thought also cross your mind: "What contribution have I made to their life that I must be invited?" Don't just grow old—grow up too.

Now let me turn to those we do invite to our various occasions. They're somewhat prioritized in your life over others, aren't they? So in your times of need, in your troubles or sorrows, how many of them have you found by your side? Take stock! How can someone who isn't there for you in crisis be a necessary person in your life? Ninety-eight percent of our guest lists consist of people who are unnecessary in our lives.

You'll feel deep sorrow when you see that some of these invited guests or gate-crashers are actually trying to push you deeper into trouble during your difficult days, or when those who could ease your troubles even a little by just speaking up lack the time, inclination, or mindset to do so. Someone who stays silent during your troubles or finds amusement in them is anything but a friend or well-wisher. Alas, we consider such people close to us—people who remain silent or enjoy seeing us drowning in trouble!

Yes, we invite them too! We give them priority in our lives. For someone who doesn't even have time to think about me, I still worry, "What will they think if I don't invite them!" Sometimes it's, "Come see how much I'm spending on this wedding!"—we invite them just to show off. Of the five most lavish weddings I've witnessed, three ended in divorce. Listen, sir, you might get glitter by throwing money around, but you won't get hearts! I've also seen people invite others hoping for gifts! I can't understand why someone who lacks the means to furnish their own home with their own money gets married at all. Absurd and meaningless! Oh yes, many have to invite others because "they invited me too!" Those who feast must feed others! It's an unbreakable cycle! If we're going to their funerals and eating, can we skip inviting them to our own funeral feast?

Why do they come to your wedding? To bless you or pray for you? Do you really think that? How cute! Ha ha ha! They come to eat at your wedding, to see how much money you're spending, to show off their own wealth by giving expensive gifts. At weddings they think and talk about how the cooking turned out, how the decorations look, how the bride and groom are dressed, whether the hospitality is adequate. They come to take selfies with you and share them on Facebook. A single like is worth far more to them than your well-being. The value of likes surpassed the value of human beings long ago!

Do you yourself ever really think about someone after attending their wedding? Do you truly have any concern for their troubles? You can tell me what dress you wore to their wedding by checking Facebook—you have that much interest in buying clothes for weddings; but have you ever once inquired about their family? People remember only those who regularly gift them likes, comments, and shares on Facebook; they don't remember those who love them. How can you expect friendship from such a bizarre creature?

You are as I am, as others are. Instead of pouring money like a river into weddings, if you saved that money, you could spend it during your own difficult times. Whom are you showing off to? People who don't even have time to think about you? Whom are you feeding? People who wouldn't be affected even if you died? Whom are you inviting? People who come to weddings and fight over the big leg-roast piece of mutton on the table? Do you expect even them to pray for your married life?

Many of us even forcibly drag people to our wedding ceremonies! We keep calling and calling until they drop everything and show up! The wedding is in Teknaf, but we'll grab the guy from Tetulia by the ear and drag him all the way there! Make him take leave from work just to attend the wedding! Brother, someone who's genuinely concerned about you will surely manage time for your occasion if it's not too much trouble. Why force them so much? You might force a marriage, but you can't force wedding guests. Those who shout, "Will you give me love or not? Will you come to my wedding or not?"—I want to tell them, "Get to the asylum before it's too late!"

Most importantly, attending or not attending weddings never determines sincerity or friendship. Outside my immediate family, among those who stood by me during my troubles, only two attended my wedding. Going to someone's wedding only requires time, inclination, and transport fare—is sincerity always present? If I assume that whoever I saw at my wedding is sincere toward me, then who's more foolish than I am! Going to weddings is a habit; not going is also a habit. There's no greater foolishness than judging love by attendance!

During troubled times, those we find by our side are most often people we never even thought to invite to our occasions, people we perhaps never considered friends, relatives, or well-wishers. Being a relative or friend isn't determined by blood relations or closeness of relationship. Only those who stand by us during troubles are true relatives of the soul, friends of the blood. Everyone else is just a freeloader, at best an acquaintance. Casually calling someone a friend is one of our ugly bad habits!

After your death, you won't be able to see how many heads you'll have in your funeral procession, but before your death, during your crisis procession, you'll see less than ten percent of that number. The person who busies himself pleasing your children, spouse, siblings, parents, or family members after your death, yet never bothered to check on you while you were alive—that person might be important to them at most, but certainly not important to you.

I'm not quite sure whether people spend money on the occasion of weddings, or get married on the occasion of spending money.