Between Seen and Unseen Lives Intertwined / Two

: Did you start preparing for jobs after completing your graduation? How many days of preparation did you have in total?
: No, I completed my graduation after realizing I needed to get a job. Initially, I had absolutely no desire to complete my graduation. I used to do business. I wanted to be a businessman. And you don't need to be a graduate to do business. By some turn of events, when it struck me that I'd have to get a job, take the BCS exam, that's when I completed my graduation. Then I started studying for BCS. But I had an advantage. In Bengali, English, mathematics, and science—these four subjects—my foundation was much stronger. Really stronger than necessary. However, I had to study general knowledge a bit more. I knew absolutely nothing about that. Looking at the math questions, I thought if I sat for the exam now, I'd get 50 out of 50. What's there to study? In our time, mathematics carried 50 marks. How much is it now?
: It's still 50. 50 for mathematics and 50 for mental ability.
: In our time, five math problems would appear. Ten marks each. It was easy, you know...that's how it seemed. Now everything has become much tougher. If I took BCS now, I might struggle to get a job! Ha ha ha! English and science were very easy for me—I used to teach students, you see. I had to teach books from classes nine to twelve at least hundreds of times! The books, including their page numbers, had become memorized. I used to teach science subjects from at least 4-5 different books. There was hardly any problem or theory from the physics-chemistry-mathematics books of matriculation and intermediate that I couldn't handle. On weekends, I'd give free classes for engineering admission tests. I used to solve IBA's BBA admission test questions. Now I understand how much those free classes of that time gave me, even though they didn't pay me money! While studying for my honors degree, I had completed the GRE Big Book and the official GMAT. Though the work was extremely difficult, it benefited me greatly overall. I used to teach very difficult grammar drills. I have nearly a hundred books by foreign authors on language, vocabulary, and such. I'd create sheets from these and give them to students in every class. The work required great effort, so I'd force them to solve everything at any cost. (I'd beat them with a cane if necessary.) That benefited me immensely. When preparing English lecture sheets, I'd prepare them in such a way that no bigger sheet could be found anywhere else. This was my personal challenge. Every sheet would have various grammar and vocabulary drills at the bottom. Plus, there were honors batches too. I did a lot of studying while teaching students. There were no problems with the basics. My coaching was a one-man-army type—except for commerce subjects, I taught all the classes myself. I taught Bengali and Bengali literature for matriculation and intermediate myself. I still remember, before going to teach Rabindranath's poem "Sonar Tori" to the intermediate batch, I studied about that poem from 22 different books. I'd teach each poem for nearly two hours in class. While teaching Jasimuddin's "Kobor," I cried myself and made the students cry too. Those memories are so sweet! If I taught students poetry for more than 15 minutes now, they'd probably come to beat me! While teaching prose, I'd give countless references—they couldn't keep up taking class notes in their notebooks. I taught students with great sweat and toil at one time. I taught students grammar. That book from class nine, "Bengali Grammar"—since I taught students in batches and had my own coaching center, I completed it hundreds of times, truly hundreds of times. I taught intermediate students grammar from at least 8-10 books. In class, I'd solve test papers from at least three publishers. To do all this work, you have to prepare yourself extensively. That's why I had no problems with grammar. Teaching intermediate students grammar and literature greatly benefited me. I'd prepare notes for them, which meant I had to study a lot myself. I spent that period of my life doing inhuman amounts of work. When I think of that foolish Sushanta of those days, I feel such pity! The poor fellow led such a joyless life then! Those sleepless nights—I received a reward for them. Every sincere and sleepless journey has an award.
Let me share some interesting experiences—you'll enjoy them. I used to beat students if they couldn't do their lessons, though the guardians had tacit approval for this. In those days, when students got beaten, they felt ashamed and would somehow prepare their lessons for the next class. But now? If someone gets beaten by a teacher, not only do they not feel ashamed, it actually hurts their prestige, and they become vengeful. If they ever get the teacher at the right place, they'll definitely "size him up." So whenever it comes to mind to teach students like before, the next moment I think, why ask for a beating unnecessarily? Let them perish! Let them not learn, let them live their lives as fools. What do I care! So many students left my coaching unable to bear the strictness! If I had run the coaching with smiles and chitchat according to their wishes, I would have had at least one and a half times more students! Unless you were a very studious student, it was impossible to keep up with my pace of study.
When I taught, I drummed into students' heads that getting full marks wasn't the main thing—writing your answer sheet beautifully was the main thing. How? Let me explain with examples. For instance, after solving a math problem, you couldn't write "Ans:" at the end—you had to write it out fully, meaning "Answer, then colon." In the line before that, you had to write "Therefore" or "Hence" and then, looking at what the question asked for—meaning the last line of the question—write out the complete result. You couldn't put a comma after "Therefore," but you had to put a comma after "Hence." You couldn't use symbols for Therefore/Hence there—you had to spell out the complete word. You couldn't write (1); you had to write "equation (1)" (or "sentence (1)" where applicable). If anyone tried to take shortcuts, I'd beat them. If they protested, I'd call their guardian and expel them from coaching. If someone came to coaching three classes in a row without preparing their lessons, they couldn't come from the next class onward. Side notes were absolutely, absolutely mandatory. Every single side note. No shortcuts whatsoever! Cancellation of fractions, cross-multiplication, transposition—everything had to be shown step by step. Side notes had to be written inside third brackets with a semicolon before the opening bracket, not a comma. Before writing "left side equals right side," both sides had to be written out completely, then below, with the "therefore" symbol, write "left side = right side," and below that on the right side, write "proved/shown" (as the question requires) inside first brackets. In geometry, general selection, special selection, etc., had to be written with blue ink, and if you went to another page (meaning not from left to right, but flipping from the right page to the next page), you had to draw the relevant diagram again. The diagram didn't have to be perfect, but the teacher shouldn't have to flip back to see the diagram from the previous page. When writing various definitions in science, you couldn't write the definition directly—you had to write some introduction first. Along with the definition, you had to include relevant diagrams, symbols and notations, dimensional equations, equations, etc. You also had to write alternative names for elements, such as the other name for pyro-sulfuric acid being fuming sulfuric acid—this absolutely had to be written. Not writing it would result in proper punishment. Countless other "tortures" like this continued on the students. Your presentation must have its beauty! If there was any deviation from this, I'd ruthlessly cut marks, along with caning! I don't know of anywhere else that took more model tests and class tests from students than I did. I'd assign lessons in such a way that preparing them would make it impossible for a student to sleep more than 5-6 hours. If I made them work like demons today, the students would definitely gang up and beat me! There'd be nothing left to do in coaching except killing mosquitoes. Ha ha ha!
So I'm telling you, don't compare yourself to me. You have to understand your own situation. Now if someone asks me how long it takes to prepare for math, I might look at the questions and syllabus and say, "Oh, I see, if I study for an hour, I'll get 50 out of 50." But that might not apply to you. The hard work I did—you might not have done that work. For you, the time might be one month or even one year. It varies from person to person. There's actually no fixed timeframe for preparation...it depends on your foundation.

: How many hours did you study daily, brother?
: If I'd known someone would ask this, I would have studied by keeping count! Ha ha ha...and listen...I actually studied quite well. I'm not among those who got jobs without studying. Since I had no other work to earn my living at that time, and I didn't have to support my family—I'm the son of a quite solvent family—I was very lucky. I did some business that brought in a lot of money. I gave all that up too. Lost a tremendous amount of money! Loss means massive loss. It's not easy to bear the loss of so much hard-earned money and still study! But I accepted it. You know why? I thought, here I am earning two and a half to three lakhs per month. So if I give up everything and study for six months, how much money will I lose? Let's assume eighteen lakhs. (Later, I actually lost even more—I was among those who fell victim to the stock market crash at that time.) I felt that losing just eighteen lakh taka to get a job was acceptable. The funny thing is, when I was preparing for the BCS exam, I became so absorbed in it that I had no plan for what I'd do if BCS didn't work out. I mean, no alternative plans! I would probably have gone back to teaching students. I really enjoyed that work. Anyway, since I had no other work, I just stayed home and studied. The time I spent studying averaged no less than fifteen to sixteen hours a day.
I read voraciously, worked like a ghost, barely stepped out of the house. I never had that knack for casual hanging out and chatting. When I could have spent time in pleasant company, enjoying myself, I never did—and that was really the crucial period! I never cheated myself, never enjoyed life even a little. My work was my life. My days passed according to a fixed routine, and I never even thought of stepping outside that pattern. I kept myself unbelievably busy—teaching students, studying myself, watching movies, listening to music, doing some writing here and there—I did nothing beyond these. I put myself through immense hardship for many, many days. Perhaps it was wrong, but when I look at myself today, I feel a kind of gratitude toward that hardworking young man. I didn't cheat life, and life didn't cheat me. Simple!
: Did you become a cadre on your first attempt?
: Yes, I took only one job exam in my entire life. I never took any other job exam. I had no desire to work—I wanted to do business. I couldn't do business, so I took the job exam. By the Creator's grace, it worked out! And here's the good news—most people who get jobs do get them on their first try! You can rest assured that BCS is still one of the few fair job recruitment exams in Bangladesh. So if you use your time properly, you will definitely get a job. Don't slack off—a middle-class life isn't meant for living through shortcuts. If you slack off, you'll surely face the consequences. I've seen far more people destroyed by taking shortcuts than I've seen destroyed without taking them, despite not taking any myself. And it's not that avoiding shortcuts guarantees success, but at least your self-confidence won't be ruined. Never do anything that leaves you unable to forgive yourself at day's end!
: In Bangladesh's context, how much opportunity do engineering students have in job recruitment? Which sector should they focus on more? Tell us something about engineering careers.
: First thing—I don't really have much idea about engineering careers. Because I didn't go into that career; my friends did. Those who went are doing very well, truly very well. Our friends who were in CSE, many of them now draw six-figure salaries. The others are doing quite well too. You understand six-figure, right? (Many said they didn't.) You have to understand six-figure. What does six-figure mean? At least one lakh taka or more in salary. So many draw six figures, many do business, many earn six figures doing something or other on their own. So I don't think they're doing badly. And those who've gone abroad—they're in fantastic shape. One of my friends gets 17 lakh taka per month in salary. He works for a bank in Australia. Seventeen lakh taka! You heard right. He studied at BUET. He's taken various professional degrees. Those of us sitting in the country don't say they're doing badly—they have to struggle a lot, all this talk is just the self-consolation of fools, nothing more. Those who can't go due to lack of means or opportunity are the ones who say such things most. As far as I know, none of them are doing particularly badly. However they manage, they manage well. Again, going abroad isn't possible for many people. Maybe they have to look after family, their father is sick, they need to stay by his side. Nothing can be done about it. It depends on each person's wishes, convenience, means, and opportunities.
And let me tell you something else. Just because you study engineering doesn't mean you have to go into that field. After graduation, we get a certificate, and with that certificate, we can sit for job exams. University or college is just a grooming ground, nothing more. The days of thinking you must practice medicine if you study medicine, or become an engineer if you study engineering, are over. Live however you can live well, with some satisfaction—that's the way to go. What anyone says doesn't matter at all. Everyone's life is their own. Who is happy? Actually, no one. Look around and see. Still, there's more to say. Happiness may not come, but let there be some comfort and fulfillment in life. You have to do whatever's necessary for that. Listen, if we assume that those who change the world—maybe 10 such people come every 5 years—then it's certain that neither you nor I are among those 10. So what are we so tense about? What's all this baggage? None of us are that indispensable. So, no tension. Live in your own way!
: So then, brother, what's your philosophy? Knowing yourself?
: Knowing yourself isn't possible even in a lifetime. Do we know what we are? If we knew that, we'd be gunpowder, understand... gunpowder! We don't even know what we are. You don't know what you are! You don't know how much capacity you have. We either overestimate ourselves or underestimate ourselves. We don't get the chance to properly estimate ourselves. We don't have that much intelligence or knowledge either. Knowing yourself is very tough! We say with our mouths, I'll show them. Watch, one day I'll show them. Hey brother, if you want to show them, you have to work. Work! But that work never gets done. Just saying some big words and calling it quits—that won't work. This isn't called determination. In determination—it's better if the mouth isn't there. Let the mouth stay inside. Your work will tell what you can do and what you can't. Let your work do your talking. What's the point of talking? You can talk with your mouth, you can post a status on Facebook just like that, right? In this world, even someone who has nothing has a Facebook ID, from where they can play king and minister as they please. What, doesn't your housemaid have a Facebook account? She also posts statuses... everyone has a past... feeling awesome! The other day I was watching a TVC, there was a beautiful line: 'You who don't know about the Liberation War, don't know about the country, don't carry that consciousness—but if another Liberation War starts now, what will you do? You'll post big statuses on Facebook... we don't want this Liberation War... this that, whatever, or we don't want this war, we want peace... Whatever you say with your mouth, you'll still have to take the beating. You need to be prepared for that time. That's it!
If I were to talk about my life philosophy, the night would pass. Let me say it briefly, how's that? Suppose if something were written on my tomb or grave after my death, then any of these things could be written, at least I would want them to be—
1. This man harmed no one until the moment before his death.
2. This man was not very rich, but was very humane.
3. This man's own life was immersed in deep darkness, and rising from there through his own efforts, he gave millions the courage and dream to live.
4. This man was ready to sacrifice his life for his dreams. Even while dying, he never gave up.
5. Even at his death, this man didn't want to see those he had loved, but rather wanted to see those who forgave his many mistakes, accepted all his inadequacies, and loved him.
6. Until the moment before death, this man, after helping those he had the opportunity to help, never again tried to contact them.
7. Before death, this man forgave countless people in his life who had harmed him greatly.
8. After this man's death, not a single person in the world was owed even one taka by him.
9. While living, this man never made any complaint against any person and never regretted any lack. This man had no greed for anything belonging to anyone in the world.
10. While dying, he left his eyes for some blind person.
...This is how I know myself, I live with these thoughts. For now, these are my dreams.
: You had coaching, so how did you find time for studying?
: What, did I study? If I had studied, would I have gotten a 2.74 CGPA! Getting that result is tough—you have to work very hard at not studying to get that if you want it. Ha ha ha! Getting a 3 in CSE is no big deal. I didn't study, so I didn't get it. What I got was more than enough. Don't you understand what I did? I didn't study, I only taught... I taught students. And while teaching students, my basics became strong. Basic knowledge from matriculation and intermediate is very useful for jobs. So that was very good for me. I couldn't do many things, but what I needed to know, I knew, quite well. So there was no problem. Back then I used to think, what am I doing, destroying my life with my own hands! Everyone said, you had such a bright career, you're ruining it by teaching students! Sometimes I too felt, maybe I really am making a mistake. Today I understand, nothing of life's wealth will go to waste...
: What did you do for the job?
: I had no desire to work. I was doing business. I was quite well off in my own way. I wasn't poor, brother. A lot of money came from business. Not less than two and a half to three lakh taka every month. But my problem was that no one gave me any importance, brother. What they call identity crisis, or in formal language 'crisis of recognition'—I had that. Actually, not getting recognition from anyone is a very awkward thing. Those who are fine without getting recognition from anyone are actually managing to live somehow. It's not easy. You might say, hey brother, what if they don't give me recognition, I have money. But think about it, your parents are also suffering because of you, and seeing that is very painful. Very painful! If you love them, you'll feel great pain. They expect something from you. It's only natural.
If human blood flows through your veins, then you must fulfill them. If you cannot, then you are not human at all! Like what happened to me — back then I wasn't completing my honours. Father was saying this, mother was saying that, but I wasn't listening to anyone. I simply would not complete honours — I truly had no desire to do it. I mean, by that time I should have just finished intermediate. Ha ha ha! My studies should have stopped right there — at least that's what I wanted. But look! That same me ended up passing even my master's. I wasn't supposed to do any of this. So during that period, these things were working inside me. I mean, I didn't study my subjects properly, but my experience tells me that failing at university is very difficult — even if you want to fail, you can't do it easily. When you sit for exams, the professors give you a C or D grade anyway, thinking, "Poor thing has taken the exam with such effort, let me give him something." For instance, if someone were to challenge me like this — "You got a 2.74, did you actually earn it?" I would say, "No no no... it was given to me out of pity!" It seems to me that the professors are truly good people. I didn't study, that's why I got 2.74, but I had the capacity to do better. I had done very well on the admission test, came second. Later I gave up studying. And when I was graduating, I was still second — from the bottom, of course! Ha ha ha! That was the story, but there was a reason for it too. The reason was that I didn't study. Some people study hard but still can't achieve expected results, while I achieved unexpected results without studying. The professors are magnanimous!
And another thing. To get jobs, you need to have something in your head. I have a friend who was a first-class first student from his department at a leading public university. But he failed the preliminary exams twice. Do you know what the reason was? He knew nothing except math... absolutely nothing. He couldn't write proper English, and without knowing English well, getting a job isn't easy. You can't get a job with just math, right? My academic studies were in terrible shape, but I knew what was necessary for job-related studies. I knew grammar, I knew vocabulary, I knew math, I knew science, I knew Bengali. Since I used to write, I was quite good at free-hand writing. I mean, I knew the things that are needed for job exams. Back then I could really write, brother — I could write brilliantly. For example, if you asked me to write about that tree in front of us... I might not even know the name of the tree, but I could easily write twenty pages about it. Even right now I could do it — I could keep writing until you tell me to stop. There would be no problem, I had that capacity back then too. This comes in handy, and it has been very useful for me. That's why I tell you all — do some free-hand writing, expand your vocabulary a bit, try to understand grammar, try to strengthen your math basics. Teach students for free if necessary — this will be very, very useful. Try to learn how scholarships work. Because when you see that everyone has started applying, that's when it will come in handy. Your friend who studies at BUET knows from second year how to take GRE, GMAT, IELTS exams, but you don't know. When everyone graduates at the end of fourth year, you'll fall behind, brother... wait, you don't have session jams, right?
: A little bit.
: Well, that's no big deal! BUET has some too, light ones. I don't know if there are many. When you all graduate together and come out, you'll see that he has gotten far ahead of you. The time you wasted, you'll have to pay for it. Keep that in mind. Make arrangements so you don't have to pay that price — it will be very useful. You'll certainly have fun in life, but if you have fun at the wrong time, you'll suffer when it's time to suffer. When it's time to work hard, you'll have fun, enjoy yourself, sleep comfortably — and then you won't get kicked for it later? That doesn't happen, brother! Keep this in mind. This is the time for you to fight. You might ask, "Brother, are you fighting now?" No, I was fighting during that time in my own way. Later I saw that those very things became very useful for me. I can say with complete honesty that at your age, I didn't pass time chatting, wandering around, sleeping. I tutored, taught batch after batch, worked tremendously hard — my basics were very strong. They were better than many of those who took exams with me. The only thing I couldn't do was general knowledge. I had to invest a lot of time and effort in that. And the tutoring came in handy. I made very good use of it. It worked out well for me. You all think about what you'll do. You have many, many tracks open before you. In terms of career, there's nothing right or wrong in my dictionary. Let me tell you about one of my friends. There's an institution in Dhaka, I forget the name, in Dhanmondi. They teach ACCA, IELTS, GRE-GMAT, English medium batches — that's what they teach. My friend is a teacher there. He teaches English medium batches at home, teaches ACCA students — that's what he does. He earns twelve lakh taka per month. He took BCS exams three times, nothing happened — couldn't even pass the preliminary. He took bank exams, didn't get jobs. Later he decided he would just teach and built his career in that line. He's doing very well. He travels abroad for three months a year, works for nine months. He earns over one crore taka per year. He doesn't even get the scope to spend that money. How much money can one spend! He pays taxes regularly. When he sits down to eat at a restaurant, he tips the waiter fifteen percent of the total bill! He follows it like a thumb rule. Let me inform you all in this gap — the standard practice is, if a restaurant doesn't charge service charge separately, you tip ten percent of the total bill. This is an unwritten rule. It's followed a lot in foreign countries. So that's why I said, no one can tell which direction someone's career will go. Who will do which work and live well, lead a comfortable life — we don't know that. Think about this a bit — this is something worth thinking about very carefully.