So much affection.
Open your mouth,
I’ve arranged the food
on your plate.
Mm.
Hey! Listen,
boy, look at me properly! Make your eyes
big and wide.
Take food in your mouth
and give it to mine………….I’m looking.
Hehehe, you think
you can eat just by saying so? Hee hee hee! Move your
pupils left and right!
Mm.
You are a rose
flower. You don’t have to be right in front of my eyes or I don’t have to smell you—just thinking of you brings joy.
You are a
meow.
That you exist,
that’s enough.
Cooooo…………..
If you fall in love,
you won’t push me away, will you?
First I’ll make sure
whether it’s love or affection………..
Think before you speak.
I won’t take love,
I’ll take affection. There’s such a lack
of affection!
Love is something
much bigger.
What’s wrong with wanting it?
I can’t tell
lies.
I know that about you.
If I ever feel
something like that, I’ll know it myself, I won’t be able
to say it.
I know that. The heart
just keeps announcing itself!
Yes, darling.
But everyone has
something or other that’s strange. I want to be your something strange. Will you let me stay? Oh hello! Sparrow!
Why don’t you say anything? Now I’m just
chattering away by myself! Tell me, have you ever picked up fallen
petals and kept them on your study table? Even more than jasmine garlands, I find the flowers lying
under the jasmine tree more beautiful, you know! And touching them gently through the mist-covered blanket and picking them up feels so
good! Tell me, will your eyebrows
ever furrow listening to me? Though, when you listen to me, it’s not your brows but your eyes that become like a bandit chief! What leads me to say
what! Look at this picture, this is my tiny
BF! Your power’s gone out there, hasn’t it? Resting my hand on my cheek
is just my nature. Even when I wait, that’s how I wait. I’m coming now. Bye bye.
Why didn’t you answer the phone?
Hey baby………where are you?
Having rice.
Eat. You didn’t answer the phone.
I don’t text during meals.
I wasn’t nearby. I just saw it now.
Give me a call. You’ll
disappear, I know it.
Hey! What’s this about?
You’ve disappeared.
When? Silly! What is this fool saying!
Nothing. Tell me.
Tell me a story.
Hmph!
Tell me a story.
Alright!
Once there was a king. And once there was a queen. Meow! Oh, they both died. Story’s over. Coo-oo! How’s that?
Not bad!
What are you doing?
Playing.
Why do you look so gloomy?
Tell me.
Going to take a food coma again?
Rice. Water. Salad. Beef. Egg. Vegetables. I eat. Will you sleep?
Forget all that sleeping! I can’t sleep during the day, I mean I don’t feel sleepy. I can’t stay quiet. If you weren’t here, I’d be bothering Grandma right now.
Give me some love. It’s a holiday today.
Ehhhhhhh, if I keep spoiling you with love, you’ll turn into a complete brat!
What?
Yes.
Alright.
Will you recite me a poem?
Mm-hmm.
Go ahead.
Oh hello!
Meow…….miaow!
That’s a poeeeeeeeeem?? Where are you?
On your chest.
But there’s a rotting smell there! Isn’t it hard to stay?
What? I don’t understand.
Didn’t you say……on my chest?
My chest smells?
Oh, I was responding to that. Two inches deep in the chest, the smell of a rotting heart.
My mood’s gone off!
Why?
Nothing left to do with the chest.
Hehehe…………
Come on, let’s tear apart society, civilization, culture.
What’s the point of tearing them apart? Let’s do something else instead. Let them grow bigger. Then we’ll use them to fly kites.
Do you like hair? I actually like it!
No, you dirty boy!
Oh!
Ugh, why should I match with you? But I do like my own sweat. I love the smell of my sweat. Neck, armpits………ohhh!
Hmm. Between the two breasts………..
I don’t smell anything there!
Below the navel………you won’t smell your own.
Oh!
In the groin………should I be talking about such things with you? Sorry!
I’m feeling shy!
With me? Okay, sorry.
How does it feel when you say sorry! Want some mango?
You’re the one who stopped me! Yes, go ahead and feed me.
Open your mouth! Open it wide, really wide!
Meow. I’m going to bite your lipsssssss! Where are youuuu???????????????????? Heyyyyyyyyyyyy
Yesssssss…………….oh hello! Sparrow! There was a call!
I see.
What do you see?
Humans just keep calling!
No!
Humans just can’t answer my calls.
Oh hello! I wasn’t nearby.
Huh! Who called?
Who called?
Yes.
Who? Well, can I tell you something?
Didn’t you say a call came?
Tell me!
I was talking about you, silly!
Wasn’t your call coming?
No! I was talking about you. Whether you were coming or not.
I already ate. You left a little while ago.
You dummy! You just left! Who called then?
After your call there were no other calls.
Oh!
Yes.
You won’t understand what I’m saying anyway! Only through messages can you understand. I was eating mango.
Why wouldn’t I understand what you’re saying?
Apart from my family, few people understand what I say.
Why?
I can’t speak slowly and clearly. It takes practice. Speaking slowly and calmly. Okay?
Okay, am I being a bit too pushy?
When?
Now.
By asking that, you seem really distant to me. Why are you saying pushy? Oh hello! What was it you said you wanted to ask……….
You ask!
Well, don’t your feet hurt? I mean, from walking around in so many people’s hearts! Hey sparrow, naughty sparrow!
So many people’s????
There must be plenty!
Did I enter on my own?
No! Why would you enter, silly?
Into yours?
That was through my prayers!
Say it straight. I don’t understand roundabout talk.
Where did I speak in roundabout way? Why do you get so angry?
I’m in your heart,
what’s not there??????????????????
I’ll get angry a hundred times!
You’re definitely there!
When you get angry, you look like a baby red chicken.
In love?
Romance? Or just for nothing? I need to know.
I already told you.
I don’t want romance. If there’s only romance, then I won’t keep you there either. If you stay, you’ll stay in love.
Don’t speak in riddles.
I can’t quite figure out what you mean. Give me a straight answer………..meaning,
so far it’s just for nothing.
Thanks!
That’s what you said,
sparrow, I didn’t say it. You imposed your sentence on me.
Send a selfie.
I want to see you.
Nope.
Look here.
I’ll remain weird forever. Let me send a picture, wait.
Won’t you send it?
Ugh, the one I want to
send won’t go through. Never
mind!
What did you eat rice
with?
Picked it up with my hand
and ate it with my mouth.
Oh I see.
You know………..
What?
I haven’t asked you
how you are.
How are you?
However you’ve kept me.
Then you must be doing badly.
I’m incapable of keeping you well.
Is your incapability only
when it comes to me?
No! What do you do
in the evening?
Sparrow, listen!
Tell me.
I don’t have any work routine. Did you get a lot of scolding and beatings for mischief as a child?
What are you doing?
Can I call?
Yes.
Sparrow, it got cut off probably because of network problems.
I thought you hung up
for some reason.
No dear……..
There are a lot of network
problems in our area.
………………………………
Hey! Are you sleeping?
Watching the game,
weaver bird.
Want some tea?
Mm.
Weaver biiiiiiiiiiiiiird…………….
Sparrooooooooooooooooooow……………………
You still haven’t given me tea.
I had given it to you.
You were absorbed in watching the game. It got cold.
You didn’t give it.
I did.
You only offered.
You didn’t look.
Meow.
Coooo! Oh hello!
Had dinner?
…………………………………………………….
Hey there!
Yes, sparrow!
What are you doing?
Oh, nothing much.
You?
Nothing much either!
Did you eat? Don’t you have work tomorrow?
No. I ate.
Hmm.
Did you have dinner?
Yes.
When are you coming back to Dhaka?
Within a few
days.
Why don’t you say tomorrow or
the day after?……….Hey!
Having a bit of trouble
managing the ticket! Yes, go on.
Okay. What are you doing?
Talking to you. What
are you doing?
Finished watching the game?
Ages ago!
I’m going to bed.
Okay, go to sleep. Fall asleep
like a good boy. Good night. May sleep overflow on your eyelids!
…………………………
Good morning. Open your
eyes. What will you have for breakfast, tell me.
Good morning, dear.
What are you doing?
Just woke up. Freshened
up. Having breakfast. Did you eat?
Yes.
Busy?
No! You’re not here,
after all. I was wondering if you were busy!
You silly! I’m having
tea.
Have it.
How is everyone at
home?
Fine. Are you angry
with me?
Oh my god! No
no!
You’ve changed!
Oh hello! What are
you doing? Did you bathe? Oof, it’s gotten so hot!
I’ll bathe.
Don’t delay. Go,
get it done.
Where were you?
I just ate. Haven’t eaten since morning.
Just ate now.
You make me do it.
Come, I’ll make you do it.
Why didn’t you eat?
My mother is a bad
woman.
Why?
She was late cooking.
And when the cooking was done, she didn’t even tell me.
Why didn’t you have
breakfast in the morning?
I told you!
Does breakfast need
cooking?
The food situation at home is different. Morning tea and breakfast, then another round of snacks-with-rice. Then lunch. Then evening snacks, also snacks-with-rice and tea. Then dinner.
I see.
And again at midnight!
Oh my!
We’re food flies!
Babu, take a selfie and send it. I want to see you.
Nope. No showing faces.
Alright.
Face-viewing is forbidden.
But this one’s old.
About a week old.
Take one now.
Can’t today!
Why?
My phone’s in for servicing. I gave it a water bath. The camera’s busted on this one.
Oh, I see.
What? Go on! Go have your bath.
Do you listen to anything I say? Why should I listen to you?
Nope, I don’t listen to a thing. Yes, you will listen. Because I don’t listen, that’s why you have to.
No.
Should I cry?
No.
I will cry! If you don’t listen, I’ll cry!
First you listen.
Nope.
I won’t listen to a single word of yours! I’m your weird someone!
That won’t do!
I wiiiiiill!
No.
Being stubborn? With me?
If you don’t listen to me, I’ll break up with you.
I’ll just start from zero then! You do what you want from your side.
Fine, I’m going.
Please is required!
Bye.
Hey, listen!
Yeah.
Go carefully.
Go where carefully?
To the washroom. You’re going to bathe now.
Alright.
Thanks. You take care too.
Won’t you come back?
I don’t know. You don’t listen to anything. I’m thinking wrong things about you.
Fine, let it be that way then!
Alright.
You can’t force anything. Whatever I touch turns into pain!
All this fake talk.
Fine.
You’re avoiding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No! I’m sulking.
I can tell.
What can you tell?
Taro. Potatoes. Pointed gourd. Eggplant. Ridge gourd.
You can make curry with all of them.
You’re a potato.
Round potato!
Look! Hmph!
You look………..my love!
Where are you?
Net’s slow! I’m here.
…………………………………………..
Is this baby mine?????
This crazy girl in the photo is yours, isn’t she! How could she be mine?
Fine. Good evening, cruel weaver bird!
Good evening, careless sparrow!
Oh!
What are you doing?
Just woke up. Going to shower. Will eat noodles. What are you doing?
Had a bath. No power. Sitting outside. Going to have tea.
……………………………..
Good morning. How are you? You had office today, right? Did you eat this morning? How’s everyone at home? Or are you still drowsy like a chicken with Newcastle disease?
I’m at the office! Haven’t eaten anything.
Good boy!
What are you doing?
You wretch! Why haven’t you eaten?
Have you eaten?
No, I’ll eat. In a bit. I was studying. Let me look at a few more questions. Ugh, if only I didn’t have to study for class!
What questions? What subject?
History of Bengali literature. I can never remember the years.
Neither can I.
Pinch! Sparrow, can I tell you something?…………..Ding dong! Knock! Knock! Oh hello! Here I am……..are you listening?
Yes, tell me, weaver bird!
I forgot.
Well then, keep forgetting!
Maybe it was a mistake!
What kind?
The forgetting.
Why are you talking like this?
You’re the one talking like this!
What did I say?? Have you had lunch? What are you doing?
I have. Have you eaten? Watching cartoons. What are you doing?……….But what did I say?
I’m out on office work.
What cartoon are you watching, baby?
Gopal Bhand. Is it raining over there?
No, it’s not.
Don’t get wet when it rains. But on your way back, do get wet. By getting wet, I mean just let the rain touch you.
On my lips?
On your cheeks. And on those strands of hair that fall on your forehead after you bathe. And on your favorite poem.
……………………………………………..
Hey! Where are you? Back home? Have you eaten? Were you watching the game?
I was working until just now. I’m free now. Thinking I’ll write. What are you doing?
Talking to you. And packing my bag.
Why are you packing?
Oh my! Don’t I have to go back to Dhaka?
Right. When are you returning?
I’m having trouble getting a ticket!
Hmm.
But I’m hoping to get one by the day after tomorrow.
Okay.
Hey, listen……..
Yeah.
Eat something and then sit down to write.
Feed me, come sit on my lap.
Ohhhh you old baby! Sparrow! Are you listening? Why do you take so long to respond?
Yes.
After that I don’t feel like saying anything more.
Why doesn’t anyone ever pamper me????????
……………………………………………….
I just read such a touching story!
Whose story?
Short, but impossibly beautiful. Will you read it?
Yeah.
Hahahaha………..
Will you give me that laugh every day? Your………
I will. Hey, will you bite my lip?
Am I a mosquito?
Sorry. Never mind.
Hey listen………
Yes.
Not “yes,” say “okay.” That sounds better.
Are you there?
……………………………………………..
Good morning. Did you eat breakfast? At the office? How is everyone at home?
You went to sleep without telling me. Why do you do that?
You weren’t there to listen. I’m not exclusively reserved for you, you know!
Why do you think wrongly?
You make me think that……..never mind! What are you doing?
You just don’t understand me!
Understanding everything will take time………if you give me that time, I will understand. Absolutely! Hey look, even when you come online…………whatever I’m doing, my heart just skips. You understand, sparrow?
I’ve just written a poem for you, inspired by the walls of your love and affection. Just now. Will you take a look, madam?
Yes, I will.
Here it is………….
Don’t give me tiresome love, rather……
Let love be tiresome—even that’s fine.
If you can’t love me well,
then don’t love me at all, but don’t deceive,
No matter how many palaces they have, I’d rather
remain empty, soaked in love.
What they call touch in the name of love, I don’t want that,
I’d much rather have touch-shy love—that feels wonderful.
The intoxicating love that comes, I keep it at a distance
to get drunk on love itself.
I want to love
again and again,
I want to fall in love
in the whirl of moments,
I want to lose myself in you
by disappearing completely,
I want to taste the different flavors of one man’s love with a different heart.
I’m not asking—
for you to live
only revolving around me,
to abandon everything
and stay busy only with me,
to stop life in desperate love and live shouting that you love me,
to drown me in fathomless love, forgetting everything, getting lost in me today.
I only want—
to find even a small place
in your love,
floating a little in love, tell me, why so much anger,
beloved?
Why does this small cloud of sadness
bring rain for no reason?
On nights when I cry in pain, when dawn breaks
let your voice ask me, didn’t you sleep today?
Did you cry a lot?
Just as much as silence
captures sound with its finger,
That much sulking lives
in love’s heated breath!
(What should we call this poem?)
Wasn’t there a moment of receiving
within the wanting? Give it a name……..A weaver bird in dedication, a sparrow at the end
Written for you.
Don’t you like it?
I can’t properly express something very deep. I liked it so much that I’d need a lot of time and space to express it. Still, I wonder……….why would anyone write for me? This is beyond even my imagination! And you wrote it!! How should I express this feeling, tell me?
I want very much to feel you.
Is that so!!
Yes.
A plea to the sky’s address. A love note. Will you touch me a little? I want a boat, not a ship. Afternoon love.
Will there be clouds? Give the poem a name from one of these. Though I can’t do any of this myself.
You’ve given such beautiful names!
I want to keep you
in sacred sin!
Keep me then. I have no objection.
I carry an unknown
doubt—what if you object!
Doubt kills love. I think, what if you bolt the door again! And this fear makes me faint even at the thought of such sacred sin! Oh, it’s already afternoon. When will you eat?
Today is my staff
member’s birthday. I’ll cut cake for her. Have you eaten?
When is your
birthday? I just finished eating.
November 11th.
Yours?
December 2nd.
I see.
What do you do on
your birthday? Same as any other day. What do you do?
Same.
Give me your next
birthday.
I give it to you.
But the funny thing
is…
What?
Nowadays birthdays
are just limited to Facebook notifications.
Yes, exactly.
Hmm.
What all is being
done for your friend’s birthday?
Not friend, my
staff member.
I see.
Cake. Candles.
Flowers. Sweets. Food. Gifts. That’s it!
Oh I see.
I try to keep my
staff happy.
What I said before…
you are a rose.
……………………
Let me eat rice. What
are you doing? Hey!
Hmm. Have you had
tea? Oh hello…
Where are you?
I am in your
forgetfulness.
What are you doing?
Helping around. Why
so much exhaustion in your eyes and face today? Why do you look so tired?
Because you didn’t
give me a kiss.
If I kissed you, I
wouldn’t be able to concentrate on any work!
Just say you won’t give it.
Alright. Let me listen to music.
Saurendra-Saumyajit’s… Madhur tomar. Chirasokha he.
One shouldn’t listen
to music at dusk. Hey listen! When will you return?
To your chest?
To my attic.
Whenever you call.
My heart doesn’t want
to let you go out at all!
Then why keep me at
a distance?
Because you won’t
stay close!
But I want to stay!
Truly!
Men are like the
horse of ashvamedha sacrifice—one shouldn’t try to keep them!
Should I rather stay in your shadow?
You won’t keep it,
tell me that. Have courage.
I like your courage. Monsoon Diaries| A Tagore Medley. Have you heard it?
When did I say no?………….Hey, listen! You’ll walk barefoot?
Yes. Holding hands?
I have a habit,
you know?
What?
Walking while holding
the little finger, the way I hold my mother’s.
Walk then.
Right?
Yes. When will we
meet?
The day you think
we won’t meet without me saying so, that day.
All this evasive
talk!
You might think
so.
Tell me straight.
Favorite color?
Don’t delay.
I feel restless.
White. What did I ask you?
Sea or mountains?
Mountains.
Rabindranath
or Nazrul?
Both; sex or writing—–both………that’s the same too.
Day or night?
Night.
Rickshaw or boat?
Rickshaw.
Romantic stories
or thrillers?
Romantic.
When will you go home?
My home and
office room are side by side.
Will you go out?
I’m writing!
Write then. We’ll
talk later.
Why don’t you call
at night?
I think, you’re either writing or sleeping.
I want to have
you, but you don’t come.
I’m not your
dream!
You’re thinking wrong.
I’m merely
imagination. You just can’t accept it!
No, delusions don’t linger this long.
Imagination’s time
is even longer.
Don’t twist words.
Why are you being
like this, little bird?
I feel restless
when I think of you.
It’s not quite
love……..
Then what?
I don’t know its
name! What do you think……?
I don’t know.
I love you!
You don’t love me. If you did,
the answer wouldn’t be ‘I don’t know.’ Don’t take time to think! Hey, listen! Which tasks do you forget, tell me?
The ones you don’t
remind me of!
I’ll wipe my glasses with the
edge of my sari. I’ll scold you for not drinking your tea. If you stay up all night
with your nose buried in books, I’ll turn off the light and tell you to sleep………..What if I want those days,
then?……….Oh, what I was saying………….the veranda, or the roof? A cloudy morning,
or a sunny afternoon?
Winter, or spring? A crane, or a kingfisher?…………….Alright, I’m going. Good night.
Wait. After finishing the poems
I’m knocking. Please! I’ve given you five poems. Read them and tell me how you liked them?
You wrote them and
how could I not like them! They’re impossibly good!
What are you doing? Where are you??? Did you fall asleep without saying?
………………………………………………………..
Good morning! Tell me,
when the first sunlight
falls on your face, how do you look then? How radiant do you
become?
You’ll know when you see!
Good morning.
Yes, I’ll know when I see. And I didn’t leave without saying—you’re the one who doesn’t stay when I’m about to go………..Even signing off, you’re lazy.
You silly weaver bird!
At the office, of course! Where are you? What are you doing? I feel like writing something for you.