At the Year's End with Three Scars

 The longings on this shore
 swallow pain, quietly gulping it down.
 All the journeys to that other shore, so futile and meaningless!
  
 She walks away, becoming my courtyard!
 She walks away...becoming my very own courtyard!
 All the water turns to one enormous ice
 pressing in from all sides.....
 No! I won't tell her anything, there's nothing to tell her at all!
 Yet I convince myself, with all the feeling I'm alive with today,
 I can still say this much—Shame! Why are you still like this!
  
 She comes to mind, the one I've carefully kept with three scratch marks...
 Years have turned since then,
 those three marks are still there!
 Why do they remain? Did I want to keep them? Perhaps! I wanted them to stay; they wouldn't fade!
 My heart says, these marks are love-touched!
 But I know it's not love, nor is it tenderness—
 this gift is smeared with desire or with carelessness!
 Then why do I call them gifts?...What can I do, tell me, she gave them!
  
 Understanding everything
 yet staying unaware,
 knowing everything
 yet living in hurt—
 if this is love, then I'll say
 love is truly alone—at night, noon grows!
  
 Life, it seems,
 in dim water
 on a raft of thoughts
 goes on counting breaths just like this...