Ash-Grey Beyond Taste

I have wept terribly, been humiliated, even begged through day after day.
Still, I have not forgotten to love you.
What am I to do, tell me? For I have no work left but this one love of you!

In painting you alone with the colors of imagination
my spotless white punjabi has been stained with splashes of dye this long afternoon.
I know you have no need at all for me or my love.
Your days and nights pass beautifully without me — are passing, these things I understand all too well.
But can I stop loving you for that?

The one I love does not love me back, I understand.
But should I therefore abandon loving her? Is that how it works?
Has anyone ever managed to let go or forget by following this most senseless rule?

When distance is the only condition for continuing to love you,
then let me stay far away! From this distance I'll build the bridge!
If you knew how many lies hide in the distance the eye can see!
People let go of hands, but can the heart so easily release its claim!

Is forgetting really so simple?
If it were, then how many people in this world could live so peacefully!
No one's sleep would shatter suddenly in the deep of night,
hearts wouldn't pound like this, tears wouldn't spill just any time.
People don't know where people go, but pillows know!

You calculate so many things! You've learned to calculate so much at this age, haven't you?
Of course life is like that! It never lets anyone go without teaching them thoroughly!
You've learned to live alone, to cook, to keep yourself together.
These thoughts give me great comfort, you know?

I could never accept that you would live depending on anyone!
You know, even death is far better than dependence. Life taught me this lesson too.
You will live with head held high, nose held high, chest held high. Why should you owe anyone anything!

All that owing and borrowing business — that's my job! Good thing I fell in love!
Once you truly love, you have to keep your head bowed low.
Ah, if you could understand...to bow your head so low, how high you must lift your heart!

One day you too will learn to love with head bowed, I know.
Whatever you say now, without knowing how to love, a person's very existence is pointless!
You can live without receiving love,
but can you live without giving love, tell me?

Don't live such a failed life!
If not me, then love someone else and taste heaven in this very birth.
Who knows, perhaps hell is written in our fate for the next life!

When you remain satisfied without satisfying me,
then I'll live finding all satisfaction in remaining unsatisfied!
Through not being fulfilled I'll become fulfilled until death!
Because I love! Because I love, I no longer wait looking at anyone's face for my own satisfaction!