Hi!
Hello!
What’s up?
That IBA itch
hasn’t gone away yet!
So what has come up then?
I won’t tell you that!
You’ve already crossed 22 thousand on your blocklist anyway!
Come on, spill it!
Let it be!
I’m totally crushed
on your picture anyway! Just tell me!
Hahahaha……Pictures
can be deceiving, Sir!
Yeah, that’s true.
So, are you interested in blocking me too,
like your friend Nadhbir did?
I don’t know anything
about that. In fact, I don’t even know you.
I knocked because you look beautiful.
Lucky me! Otherwise
I’d have been on your blocklist by now!
I don’t get it.
What don’t you get?
Why on the blocklist?
How would I know!
By the way,
you are actually using
your own ID, right?
I had shared a problem
with your friend, and then I saw…….Of course it’s me!
Well, I have the same question too…….are you really
Dupur Mitra, I mean, the famous Dupurda?
Dada?……..Oh I see, yes.
Hahahaha……..I
haven’t called you ‘dada’ yet though!
Will you introduce
yourself?
Hot-tempered as you are,
who knows what I might end up saying
while introducing myself…..and then………
Meaning?
What do you want
to know? Tell me!
Name? What do you do? Where do you live?
It was written
in the profile!
How many fingers
on your hands and feet?
Just seeing the pic
will do?
How many hairs (on your head)?
All this……..
Same as any normal
person has. I’m neither abnormal
nor extraordinary.
And?
And what?
Apu, why are you being so stuck-up? Just because you’re beautiful you have to act all high and mighty? Fine, whatever.
Apu?
Bye bye!
Well then I can
call you ‘dada’!
I did ask you
some questions.
Got bored so quickly!
Your future is………..
If you don’t want
to answer, just say so.
I was just teasing
you a bit! Are you annoyed?
Oh I see.
You have very little
patience!
Yes, exactly.
Tell me, what do you want to know!
How will I understand
that I’m not talking to your husband?……I’ve asked some questions.
About hands, feet, hair—
I can’t tell you.
And……..if you’re
busy, you can just say ‘bye’. That’s it! There were some questions before this.
How will I understand
that I’m not talking to your sister-in-law?
And if you don’t want
to say…….come on!
My name is Bandhan. I bind,
I let others bind me too.
It’s not easy to be
this rough, so you’re talking
to me, not to your sister-in-law.
I’m a teacher by profession.
I live in an area of Dhaka. Anything else? Or should I
ask questions now?
(Loyalty) Married.
Right?……..Yes, go ahead.
Trust me,
I won’t ask anything about
IBA. How will you judge loyalty? Married, that’s right.
Mental and
physical. By these two.
Something to think about!
As far as I know, I’m loyal…….both mentally and physically.
I see.
But if you think talking to a random girl, then maybe I’m
not loyal…….Lol……..I said a bit too much.
I see. I mean,
if I spend time with you
in the inbox………..
Yes………?
Whatever,
what did you want to
ask, go ahead.
Nothing much.
And yet everything. I want to know something about you.
Ask away.
You can’t really understand
much about someone from posts. I know you’re a BCS cadre. Temperamental. Bad-tempered, in fact. Recently married. Tell me something beyond that.
Just do forget my job, result and other fucking staffs while
chatting………. my request! What else do you
want to know, tell me………..
You tell me. What kind
of person are you?
You ask the questions,
you’re beautiful, so I’m feeling nervous to speak.
No point knowing
the info I already got
from your posts.
Or you can knock
again later.
If you’re busy
you can go. I’m not busy.
You’re taking time
to reply, so I thought.
Tell me.
You say something
about yourself.
Ask what you want
to know.
Because I’m somewhat
worried.
I like to speak and
hear directly. Tell me. What are you worried about?
So the Dupur that
everyone wants, is he here talking
to me right now? Are you really Dupur
Mitra?
Okay, take your time and knock me later. Ta
ta…….
Strange! I didn’t even want
to leave.
Then why all this
nonsensical chatter? I can hardly afford time to fabricate lies.
Sorry.
Excuse me! Don’t be rude.
Okay you are………
Please……
Hahaha……
Lol!
Broke down just from that?
Good! I win!
It doesn’t suit you.
What else can I do!
I mean………being rude to women…….Tell me, do you like sour? Or spicy?
I’m a bit rude to beautiful women,
since childhood.
Sorry!………Spicy.
I’m not beautiful.
And being rude to anyone isn’t right.
I’m a wrong kind of
person. No problem, I can
afford it. Okay, from now on
I’ll talk all cutesy and sweet.
Now tell me, do you prefer mountains
or the sea? And you won’t be able to pull off sweet talk!
Both, but more………mountains. I have lots of writing about mountains. You can read them if
you want.
Good! Yes,
I read one a few days ago.
Hmm.
Are you busy?
I’m coming to Dhaka
tomorrow. Which area do you live in?
Want to meet?
Why that emoji at the end?
Why did your eye close?
Okay, never mind!
Hahahaha…….It was
just a wink!
Why?
Why did you let it go?
Didn’t catch it, that’s why………
Letting go without
even catching!
Nah! Better to catch
someone a little less beautiful!
That’s true too!
Yes.
Everyone wants
beauty……whether a little or a lot…….Busy person! You can knock when you’re free later.
Was on the
phone………busy myself…….alright………ta ta.
Late replies
disturb me a bit. As I said, I’m not busy.
You’re very good,
disturbs me a lot too.
How? Is your internet slow? Because messages are being sent but not
getting delivered.
I’m here. Go ahead.
Busy? You
can go if you want to.
What? Tell him bye.
No. Who’s talking about going back and forth?
You, you, you!
Who’s giving all these ta-tas, byes, and goodbyes?
You are!
Not even once! You’re the one who wants to leave. And I don’t force anyone to stay.
Fine, it’s me then!
Whoever wants to go, will go!
I don’t keep anyone either.
Wonderful!
Exactly.
You tell me then, will you go? Or will you stay?
Still, there are some priorities! I have them.
It’s all about priorities.
What’s the point of staying?
I can relate……if you stay, we’ll get to know each other.
And?
Let the rest remain for later.
I’m a very typical guy, though.
Like what?
Just letting you know……..
That’s a good boy!
Men will men type!
Men will be men. That’s for sure!
Hmm.
I didn’t think you were a woman.
And unlike you, I am not loyal.
Lol……Time will say.
Hmm.
You’ll carry on the conversation with ‘hmm’?
The way you talk will tell everything.
Hmm……that’s what it’ll say!
Along with desire.
Desire? What’s this desire about?
To understand that, you’ll need to grow up a little. Wait.
Oh, by the way……
You’ll understand.
Hahahaha……grow up more! I’ll be old by then!
By the way………what?
Oh yes……..I was going to say that my friend can’t comment on your posts. I had tagged her in the comments.
Why can’t she?
I usually do tag them in your posts.
Sneha?
The ones I like……..how do I say this? ………. Yes, Sneha.
I’ve made it private.
Oh……..I’m privileged!
Yes, she was chatting with me a little while ago.
Ohh……..See, I told you! A lot of girls will be around!
What do you mean?
What do you mean, what do I mean?
Girls are already
out there!
Just read the comments
on your posts and you’ll see. Girls are crazy!
All boring girls.
Always wanting advice! For free! What a bunch of hustlers!
That’s what I was saying.
Mister, not everyone is
boring, you know!
Everyone just wants
virtual thrills.
Not everyone can deliver
real-life fun. There’s a world of difference between virtual life and real life.
Depends on what kind
of fun we’re talking about.
Any kind of fun.
You need the ability
to understand that.
Like, you might be super interesting when chatting,
but sit face-to-face and you
won’t say a word! Or the opposite.
That’s your assumption.
Could be wrong too.
Sure, could be wrong.
But this much is certain—you’re not the same in real life as you are in virtual life.
Give me your number
(if you don’t mind)………Sure? How so?
It’s too early to give the number.
Why did you say that?………Okay.
We can talk on
Messenger too.
Got a call. One
minute.
Okay. Take your
time.
Just gave someone hell. I’m
an expert at ruining relationships.
Why? Who? This is why I say you’re hot-tempered!
Some girl. Had my
reasons.
When are you going to
give me hell!
I can’t stand hypocrisy. If someone’s good, let them show their good side,
if they’re bad, show the bad. That’s it.
Have one face, not two.
True…….Hi 5………Coz I hate that too!
Did you misspell “Height”? I thought you were taller. Only 5 feet?
I said, hi 5! Lol……My spelling isn’t that bad. Height is more than 5.
Oh right, I’m an idiot, didn’t get it.
I held out my hand,
you didn’t even take it………I can
be a bit cheeky too.
You don’t need tricks
to hold noon’s hand, ma’am.
I’ll have to use tricks
to grab noon’s hand. Pull it down to make it evening! I do love evenings!
Hahaha………..Don’t think so. I like brave people.
Never mind, won’t say anything!
Okay, I forgive you.
I really don’t like
getting beaten up.
What do you like
to eat?
Spicy.
Okay.
You?
I already told you…….spicy.
Tell me the name of the dish. Even puffed rice can be spicy!
So many dishes to choose from!
True enough. I don’t intend to bore you.
Anything else? Want to run away?
But I have a feeling you are already bored!……..Nope.
You are free to leave, ma’am.
Running away isn’t my style. If I want to leave, I’ll say so myself.
Sneha is cool………That’s good.
Really she is.
Yep.
If you want you can take your time to talk to Sneha.
No no. Things are getting too formal. Nothing else………
Lol……I don’t mind.
Well…….?
Yes!
Do you like coffee?
Yeah! But I prefer tea.
I see.
Typical, traditional, trendy……what do you think?
I love coffee. Terribly so!
It’ll take some time for you and me to click. We’re both completely different types. Like what you writers call opposite poles, something like that!
Want to click?
Let’s see………as I said time will say.
Oh you scared little thing! Alright, ma’am.
That’s right! Scared!
Hmm……..I figured that out already.
I’m like an open book, dear! I’m easy to read. Because I don’t hide.
I know. I’ve met girls like you before.
Lol……..The list seems pretty long! So, you are scorpion!
Yep!
…….Take your time………..Busy boss!
Ugh……..okay okay.
What?
You’re the busy one!
As I said late replies disturb me!
Then you go ahead with your work.
Nothing to do right now except browsing. But it’s better you get free and knock.
I’m here. Got a phone call.
Coz it’s clear you are not……….Oh dear!
Hmm.
I told you,
you’re busy! I’m disturbing
your work!
That comes with the territory…
I mean, the phone…..If you can’t handle that much, then bye bye.
I guess you really want me to go.
Ufffffff……
You keep saying bye bye
over and over!
If you were here in person,
I’d really give you a piece of my mind.
You’d beat me up,
wouldn’t you?
Listen, nobody else knows about this, right?
Nobody, meaning?
Anyone else in the world
besides you.
I don’t understand. What
are you talking about? What would they know?
They could find out.
Some people are just stupid, they don’t have what you’d call a personal
life. (You’re surely not like that.)
I don’t get it. What
are you trying to say?
Nothing.
Explain it to me.
Don’t get mad
again. Because then I’ll be happy.
You’ll be happy if I
get mad? Sneha could leave a reply to my comment! You changed the
settings!
Yap.
Got it. Now tell me. Why would
you be happy if I get mad?
Beautiful girls look even better when they get angry.
Trying to make me happy?
Fine, I’m happy!
OK. How tall are you?
Just curious.
Five three. You?
Add eight.
Hahahaha I
hate maths……And I like direct talks!
Especially when it comes the matter of size…….You’re
afraid? OK OK! I’m 5-11.
Not afraid, for sure!
Time will say……(or won’t……)
You bet!
You lose? OK OK…….No worries!
I won’t!
OK that’s also fine!
Never learnt to…….Lol
Cool!
Are you some kind of
tiger or bear?
Take it, then……
Why should I be
afraid of you?
Are you bigger
than me?
Challenge accepted!…………No!
The date and the ground, plzzzzzz? Yes……..12-11-1982.
I know already. Mine is 17-11-85.
Hmm.
I don’t accept dry
hmms.
How long do you know me?
I don’t even know you.
Then come closer,
let me drench you. ……… Stranger?
Cool!
We’ve just started talking. It’s not time for drenching yet.
Watched Before Sunrise? Or Before Sunset?
I did.
Or read Vikram Seth?
Hmm……..No.
By the way, you’ve shifted from formal ‘you’ to informal ‘you’.
I’ve a fantasy to do things with a stranger in a distant
land where no one on earth knows me…………I’m sorry.
When will you move to the intimate ‘you’?
No no!…….It’s my mistake!
It’s OK……..I don’t mind! You just posted that status today.
Take time…… I’m too tough to tolerate.
Really? I love challenges.
I’m the eleventh one out of ten you can count.
But I can’t take rudeness.
Still, let’s take time.
So, let me be clear.
That’s my camouflage.
If you are rude, I’m out of it.
No worries!
Surely, we should take time.
Are you sure? OK!
So, you were talking about your fantasy. I’m always sure
about what I say.
Hmm………I’ve a note called “150 Taka Dating”……….read it if you can.
I told you before,
say something that’s not related to your posts. Posts are
for public. Say something that others don’t know about.
I’m having coffee. Want some?
If you offer, I’ll have it.
OK I’ll tell you…… I’m
one of the saddest and loneliest persons on this planet.
Awww……..
No one knows this.
I’m telling you.
Why? You just
got married!
There’s so much to say,
darling!
Lonely already?
Ours is a bit complicated relation.
We have lifetime, dear!
We live separately.
Spill the beans.
Hmm…….
OK. And? You just got married!
Tell me some of your secrets.
I will.
Yap. One month.
By time you will know me……..
One minute……..Why are you giving me time?
Sure!
Then I could’ve said the same thing. I did say it, but you’re not saying anything! This is not fair.
Give me few minutes, please.
OK.
I’ll be busy now………Will talk later.
OK ta ta.
Take care. Tata……Btw, I’ll make it fair, don’t worry!
………………………….
Would you like some tea?
I could have some.
Come over!
Ma’am, I should get going now. The car’s at six, I need to pack, freshen up. I can chat once I’m in the car.
It’s OK, Sir. Take your time. I’ll head out for a bit too.
OK.
Have a safe journey, dear.
Thank you so much!
Anytime……….Now go and freshen up! Otherwise, you will get late.
I’m already doing it!
Oh multitasker!
Yap, I’m!
Impressive!
Ahhhhh………..
Did it hurt?
No……It soothes!
Blush blush!
Oh!
Are you sure I’m not disturbing you? Please take your time.
Yes, I’m.
What yes? You are sure? Or you are disturbed?
I’ve started liking you, dear. No worries!
Ahhhh…….Happy me!
Did I hurt? I usually don’t hurt………..while………
Surely you wouldn’t? You were typing?
I mean, chatting……..
Hahahah…….I could guess!
Why are you laughing? It was not a joke. I’m serious!
Of course, it wasn’t! Why would you hurt me?
OK let me take a leave………Ta ta
Sure!
As I like you……..
Take care. I’m on my way to like you too……..
Meow meow meow!
Pet cat or wild cat?
Wild sex……..I mean, cat………Auto prediction sucks…….
……………………………
Busy?
No.
Then?
Sorry, if I’m insisting.
I’m not exactly
the ultra-modern type of girl, so it’s taking me some time
to process what you said.
My God! Got it! I’m sorry! Really it was predicted! And, I mistakenly
touched the send button……….Sorry, sorry!
OK.
OK, enjoy your own time.
It’s OK. I understood. Has the journey started?
Not yet.
OK.
Having some popcorn.
OK.
Good, then……take care.
You take care
too.
Don’t you have to
cross the ferry? Don’t go
falling into the water!
Hahahaha…….OK
OK!
I’m not saying goodbye yet. But you are free to leave.
OK.
What?
It’s a harmless OK.
Lol……I thought you called for a goodbye.
OK I’m off to having some coffee in the canteen. Ta ta for
some time.
OK……Ta ta.
OK ta ta.
Tata in half an hour!
Actually, I was away. Sorry.
It’s OK. I can understand you are a busy man.
Thank you.
Thanks for what?
For……..It’s OK.
Sit down and relax
a bit!
I’m. Why?
Where are you now?
Crossing the ferry.
Wondering when you’ll
fall into the water again!
Hmm!
Either you are busy or you are not interested to talk…….As I
said I like direct talks.
Neither. I’m just
sitting here.
Then? OK.
I’m not busy.
So, take some rest. No problem.
I’m not………OK if you’re busy, it’s OK.
Ufff……..
Ta ta, dear.
I really will scold you
though!
Why, brother? What have I done?
And the next time you say bye it will be a goodbye……..brother?
Threat? OK then……
You’ve done something
worth scolding, dadababu. Not a threat,
I’m telling you straight.
Your life, your choice.
If you keep saying bye
like this, we can’t have a conversation.
Oh, I respect your decision…….Ta ta!
Are you showing attitude?
No, brother. I’m a very simple person! No attitude here.
Same here.
You’re gorgeous,
you might have some of that.
Then why do you keep
saying bye?
I can sense your aristocracy.
I’m honoured.
You’re much elevated. I’m mango
people!
You’re a celebrity,
you can show attitude!
I’m just an ordinary girl! I don’t like pretense.
I requested not to mention those filthy words about me………beg
your pardon!
I don’t like to see attitude,
and I don’t like showing it either.
That’s not there.
Ufff………..Stop it now!
What have I started? I’m confused.
Airs! Let that be for
the girls!
What’s that? I don’t have that,
brother.
Handsome men like you
shouldn’t put on airs.
Feel flattered…………
Really?
Felt……..
Lol……You’re good at English,
I know that………..maybe too busy!
Who told you I’m busy?
Your response is telling me.
Your life, your assumption, right or wrong……..
See! You are not really into this.
You’re insisting. It’s not fair. OK?
What am I doing? Tell me if I’m wrong.
Are nah! Beautiful girls are never wrong……at least to
guys like me.
Hahahaha……..what number am I
on your list, dadababu?
Though I’m flattered!
I never count. It doesn’t suit me. I’m not a trader.
Great…….should not be…….Well then, give me your number if you don’t mind.
I can’t afford time actually.
I know, busy boss!
It’s too early, na?
Hahahaha……..I expected that answer. Tell me something that I
don’t know.
My dialogue……….You just copied!
Really?