Wow!
I won’t say that.
Artistic! Come on! Why do you always do this to me? You always do this!
No. I’m not completely open with you yet. I’ll tell you someday.
Why aren’t you open?
A request—write. Don’t stop writing.
What should I write?
Not everyone can do it.
Crazy!
It’s a gift. You can do it. You do it beautifully. You’ll get even better with time. I believe it.
A pinch on your cheek!
This is bigger than prayer itself.
I’m truly embarrassed now.
I haven’t prayed for the past 12-14 years. I don’t follow religion, but I do the things religion asks for more than many who do.
Absolutely true.
For me, music, melody, movies, and ____are bigger than prayer.
What’s the dash for? Tell me. I won’t mind. You can at least be this open. Otherwise, how will I know you?
No. I’m afraid of you—afraid of losing you.
Do you ever listen to anything I say?
I can’t lose you.
You insult me every single time.
Seeing you, talking with you—I’ve become enchanted. I don’t want you to leave. That’s why I won’t be open.
Every time I want to know something, you say ‘no’ to my face. I won’t leave, I assure you. But I know you will. Because in my life, I leave the decision of whether someone stays or goes up to the other person.
What else would I say if you knew? Fine then.
Tell me, please. I’ve asked this question three times now. You haven’t answered even once. At least show me that much respect! I know respect isn’t something to be demanded, but still I’m asking.
I do respect you.
Then tell me.
Otherwise, despite all the ways you’ve insulted me, I wouldn’t have stayed. (No girl has ever said ‘no’ to my face in this life.)
Me? When did I insult you? And when did I say ‘no’?
Forget it. If you can, start writing again. You write beautifully. It would make me happy.
Not everything can be forgotten. I’m scared.
I’ll be here, don’t worry.
Will you really?
Yes.
How long?
Well, I’ll come…………for as long as you don’t drive me away.
Okay. I’ll never drive you away. Yet everyone who’s ever said they’d stay has left.
Listen, I can sense class. If you were just like any other dashing hot sexy girl, I would never stay with you. There are plenty of hot dashing sexy girls around, almost all of them shallow and dumb, sorry if I sound rude.
I will take it as a compliment, Mr Uipoka!
I don’t know how you’re taking it. What I’m saying is true.
Thanks for being honest.
I started going to nightclubs and DJ parties for a while because I love sex—the greatest art on earth. Later I realized clubs and parties aren’t for me. Not everyone can do everything. The sooner you accept that, the better.
What’s not possible?
All the idiots in the world go there!
Okay.
Nothing’s possible with idiots.
Who wouldn’t love to have sex?
Sex doesn’t just mean intercourse.
Were you afraid to say that?
Sex means many things. At least that’s what I think.
Of course, it’s not! Love is necessary!
Otherwise you could just spend money and go to call girls!
Passion is needed too.
They’re very sexy, very dashing, but shallow. I can’t handle shallowness.
Exactly! Why would you go there? I mean, you shouldn’t need to!
Come on, why wouldn’t I? I’m not a loyal person. But I’ve realized I can’t handle it.
So why there? What you judge loyalty by matters.
Listen, free sex is the most expensive thing on earth!
I’s not free at all dear!
You???
Lol……..
It’s*
I know.
Auto correction sucks! Hahaha
Why now?
Hahaha
You used to lecture me.
Then and now are very different! Time teaches you to accept everything. You have to give it time! Nonsense!
I speak carefully with you.
Why? We both are mature. These things don’t matter.
Listen, you can’t handle talking about sex. You can’t, that’s the truth.
I can too!
I won’t even say it. You’ll chase me away for sure.
See, you’re saying it! As long as it doesn’t include me……..
And you’re very conservative about these things, probably.
I’m physically loyal!
I didn’t mind, I accepted it.
A little conservative, that’s true.
I can’t lose you. No way!
I don’t want to lose you either.
Listen, I’m not even physically loyal!
That’s why I’m talking about all this now!
I’ve been in love with a total of 3 people.
Okay. You can share! I don’t have a problem with that. Love meaning?
What you understand! And each of them loves me like anything on earth! How many have you been with?
That’s what I was saying.
Well, good point, my wife is also among those 3.
I told you, only one! My husband!
I see. I’m not like you.
Of course your wife would be there. What’s there to say about that, silly?
I don’t believe in platonic love.
Lol!
The body will come into love. That’s what I believe.
Maybe! I’ve never loved anyone that way. Maybe that’s why! And the one I loved was far away.
Listen to something funny. Out of those 3, two of them practically forced me to fall in love with them. (Even if you don’t believe it, it’s true.)
Hahahaha Desperate dumb ass!
I proposed to the other one!
Wow……..And it’s quite impossible to refuse you!
Just thinking about Smita makes my head spin. You can’t even imagine what she’s like!
Oh dear! Your ex?
She is a beauty with brains! Damn sexy! No, not an ex. She had a boyfriend. Lives in America. She had some trouble with her boyfriend maybe.
You are also damn dot dot!
My stamina is on another level! I have a record of 72 minutes!
I could sense that! But not that much! Great! You are gifted!
I haven’t been to any gym, don’t exercise at all. Nothing. But I’m incredibly strong both physically and mentally! Yes, maybe a bit gifted.
Very good! She’s not around now?
She is.
Good, then you don’t have any problems at all!
We don’t meet now.
Why?
When you keep avoiding it, distance creeps in. That’s all! She stays busy too!
Why don’t you call her?
She’s a student. Third year at DMC.
Oh! She’s young then! Oh, does she live in Dhaka?
Really tall, 5’6.5″, beautiful like Iranian girls, damn good figure!
Wow!
She’s the one who taught me how to love.
Seriously!
She had just enrolled in first year at Dhaka Medical back then!
Wonderful!
About 3 years ago from now.
Girls these days! But I’m from the old school of womanhood!
She kind of trapped me into loving her.
Oh my!
She’s way more qualified.
That’s possible too!
In every way!
Okay.
Literature, music, cooking, recitation—you could never beat her in anything.
Wonderful!
She was a fan of my writing.
Why didn’t you marry her?
That girl read way too many books… She has a boyfriend. She’ll marry him.
You would have been good together.
Fuck bf… OK, she wasn’t loyal.
Though she’s not physically satisfied with her boyfriend.
Good grief! Then why would she marry him? Strange!
No, she wasn’t loyal. Does it matter at all?
I don’t understand this concept.
A disloyal good person is much better than a loyal bad person.
I don’t know if it matters.
I don’t think it matters.
Coz I’m not loyal as well.
You are. You haven’t had sex with anyone.
Physically I don’t go to anyone other than my husband coz I can’t take that.
That’s a lot of loyalty too.
I can’t even imagine! But see I’m talking to you so I’m not loyal at all!
Do you have sexual problems? (If I say take that then…) Okay I’m sorry.
Though I have particular reason to talk to you………
I asked too personal a question.
Lol
particular reason? What’s that?
I won’t tell. Don’t think that I won’t tell because you didn’t. I wouldn’t have told anyway. Though maybe, I might have told sometime later.
What is it?
I won’t tell.
I don’t talk to you for any reason though.
I know.
I talk because I like it. I don’t even know why I like it.
I like it too.
If you said for a reason, I’d have to be a bit careful.
I know why I like it.
Why’s that?
You’d be careful? I already said I won’t tell.
I’m not smart or dashing though. I’m the unsmart and shabby type.
I talk because I like it.………….Yeah right!
That a smart girl like you would talk to me—I can’t even imagine it.
Seriously, Dupur?
Yes.
Don’t insult me, please!
Seriously. I’m saying this understanding myself.
Yeah right!
I’m too scared to talk to smart people!
What nonsense you talk! Weird boy!
When I was studying at IBA, I couldn’t talk to anyone out of fear and embarrassment.
I’m scared to talk to you too!
Bullshit.
Promise!
Stop talking nonsense!
I don’t lie, Dupur!
Come on, lie with me!
Hahaha……..I will never do that……Being honest to you!
I can tell already.
I actually can’t even think about it. Among my friends, there are many for whom it’s no big deal.
Try it with someone you really care about. I think you’ll like it.
But it really matters for me………I won’t! If that was the case, I would’ve done it with my ex!
Good point, why don’t you get me a girlfriend or two!
Ugh! What a dog!
You shouldn’t have any shortage though!
No, too risky!
Girls die to get laid!
The ones who aren’t risky,
I don’t like them.
Even if you killed those 2, I wouldn’t say anything. I wouldn’t tell either.
Meaning?
Ohhh……OK!
It’s a matter of respect
and trust.
Listen!
Who are dying to sleep
around?
Let me go have dinner.
Please, give me their IDs. I will knock!
Have you had dinner?………Hahaha you rascal!
I want to enjoy life
however I want. I will indulge myself.
Just check the comments
and you’ll understand. There are many.
I’ve lived my life
very boringly. How much more?
I do check comments.
I don’t check comments.
Give me some IDs if you can.
By the way,
Sneha had commented.
Seriously,
please!
Shut up. Do it yourself!
Okay, you could’ve just said you won’t help!
Please, let me go have dinner.
Nothing to scold
about.
Have you done it?
I mean, had dinner?
Good question, is Sneha the loyal type?
I’m going! I’ll knock
after dinner.
Bye.
Okay. Will you knock when you come back?
I’ll sit down to write
after eating.
Alright, knock when you’re free. Eat first. Ta ta,
bookworm!
Bye-bye!
……………………………
Do you know him?
My colleague. Why?
Fuck!
How do you know him?
He’s a fucker!
Ask him if he remembers
Caspian’s friend Bandhan.
Your ex?
Hahaha………never in my life!
He doesn’t even have the credentials to be my ex!
I see. How do you
know him?
Sorry, you were writing. I miss talking to
you!
How do you know?
You write,
then knock. I know somehow.
How?
If you asked
him, he could tell you better. Anyway, forget it. Don’t
say anything to him. He’ll try to get revenge and create problems in my life.
We don’t talk
anymore.
Okay. You write
Weepoka! I’m feeling uncomfortable. It wasn’t right to disturb you.
You didn’t say
how you know. Okay bye.
I’ll tell you! Just
finish up first. Weepoka gets so angry!
My writing won’t
end. It’s a really long piece.
Then?
You go ahead and tell me.
You won’t have
a problem?
Just write it. I’ll
read it. Won’t be a prob.
No. I
don’t talk to wall.
Bullshit.
When you’re not writing,
then knock.
Should I call?
Idiot! How can we
talk this late at night? You didn’t
call all day!
Give me some girls’
contacts, I’m getting restless,
want to fall in love
and seduce someone! Seriously!
Pervert!
Uffffff come on!
Won’t you give? Okay, don’t need it.
Do it yourself. No, I won’t!
I can’t do it myself!
There are plenty.
I can’t find any.
Look harder. Don’t
tell me about all this.
I’m not finding any,
seriously! Not at all. Okay
sorry.
There are lots of girls. They’re
dying to get laid!
I don’t know
where they are. Who? Give me
a few hints.
Read the comments.
You’ll understand.
Which comments?
They all seem like good comments!
So many comments!
They’re all normal
comments!
You understand girls,
Dupur! So you’ll understand
what’s behind the comments too.
I don’t understand. That’s
the problem.
Bullshit.
I really don’t understand.
And if I’m not good-looking, what’s the point if she wants to sleep?
Meaning? Are you playing with my mind, by the way? Okay, change the topic!
I mean, I’m looks-first oriented.
Hmm. Did you also
knock me with the same intention? Please be honest.
No, I didn’t. But that desire grew much later,
when I’d already fallen for you.
Hmm. Have you had dinner?
Yes.
What’s wrong? You see my messages but don’t reply properly?
OK fine!
Go ahead. I did
reply. OK fine! Where? Bye! Sleep tight!
Ta ta.
Is it that easy for you? If yes, then lemme know, I’ll
prepare myself like that. I can change. I can control.
What are you talking about?
This ta ta bye bye thing. You call for it every now and
then.
Then do stop saying, OK fine things. Hope you can get me.
If you keep avoiding me, I’ll keep doing that.
I don’t. If you do, I can manage.
You do! We both can manage I’m sure!
Yap!
So? Make it straight!
We’re same type.
We aren’t same.
Hey, I mean,
what should I make straight?
To get along we don’t need to be same. Anyway, you must be
very busy, that’s why you can’t afford time to reply.
I asked you something.
What!?
Good! Huh!
Asked what!
Check conversation, stupid!
Tell me. I
need to tell you something.
Tell me.
You tell me first.
Whatever you want
to say, say it.
Useless asking you!
I was writing something
playfully before. OK, it’s useless, na?
What playfully?
Don’t ask, then!
I don’t understand. Dupur,
don’t play with me, please!
I don’t.
I’m not a fucking toy to play around. My mood’s already off!
Just stop telling fucking things!
Exactly!
Then why
do you say random things? Why would I play
with you?
I don’t understand. Ugh! This
reluctance! Stop showing that! If you stay please stay!
Think you know everything,
don’t you?
Not too much. I don’t like
this kind of attitude.
I’m a fucking
idiot, you don’t need to
explain that to me.
What’s all this about?
Better enjoy your time yourself. Bye. Good Night.
See!
Stay fine. Forgive me if I’ve done any wrong thing.
Told you, I knew you are gonna leave! You call for a bye
every time! If you really want it then fine! Stay blessed.
OK.
Fucker!
Did I fuck you ever? You can’t do it. It’s OK.
Dupur! It’s OK, let it be! I was joking. But now seriously
if you really want to stay away then fine! I’m sorry!
OK.
Bye.
Bye.
I still haven’t eaten
the chocolate you gave me. Know why? Coz
I wanted to see which one has the longest expiry date, the chocolate or your
interest!
Liked it! Good
sense of humor!!
Was it humor?
Yes.
No.
Then what?
I just said what’s
true. I’ve been thinking
I should eat that chocolate
today. It’s about time.
Go ahead and eat it.
Yes.
I’d beat you up if you
were here! Do whatever you want!
Your own line applies
to you—you neither hold on tight, nor let go completely!
Sorry for the
tacit encouragement!
Anything else?
Nope.
Alright.
Stay well. Won’t
bother you anymore.
You too stay very very
well, auntie! Damn!
Really sorry! I didn’t
realize you were seeing me that way.
Okay, sorry. Bye.
I’m sorry in fact.
Why?
I didn’t realize I’m
not the mischievous type, but the naughty type.
Did you read the piece?
Yes.
Alright.
First, I’m sorry for wasting some of your time. I can’t express myself as coherently as you do, but I’m trying to explain my side of things a little. I know this won’t make any difference to you, but I’m saying it anyway. I once told you that talking about you would require saying many things, remember? You can take it as an explanation.
Let me start from the beginning, shall I? The day you knocked, I was truly surprised, and also happy because I admire your writing. It felt wonderful to think I was talking with you. But I was also afraid—somehow you always frightened me. I spoke with tremendous reverence. Though I somehow got through that first day, I gradually began to realize I wanted to talk with you for some other reason, not just because of your writing. You kept trying to say goodbye, but I wouldn’t let you leave, one way or another. Do you know why? I would find her in you—I don’t know why or how, but I did. But I couldn’t tell you that; I knew you’d get angry and stop talking to me. Of course, that would be natural. Why would you talk to me? I wouldn’t have either, if I were you.
Little by little, I kept talking with you and thinking—do you two really not know each other? Then how is such similarity possible? Every time I talked with you, I would fall apart. As they say, fell apart, torn into pieces, shattered, devastated… something like that.
So whenever you would say you didn’t want to lose me in any way, I’d think to myself, me neither. But I couldn’t say it, because everyone I’ve ever wanted to keep has left, and this time I couldn’t risk it. But then I thought, what you were asking for—I could never give that to you, so very fearfully I told you it wasn’t possible. Yet how beautifully you reassured me that we could be friends, because that lasts. Believe me, I never imagined I could be so happy.
After that, I was repeatedly charmed by your friendly behavior. I kept forgetting I was talking with you because of someone else; it felt like I was just talking with a friend, and little by little I was coming out of my shell, though by then you had probably given me the title of “mischievous one.” And here I was, starting to believe some of your words. No sir, not those buttered-up compliments. Whether those are true or false, I won’t verify. Let them stay with you—if they’re true, they’re true for you, and if they’re false, they’re false for you too. But what I want to believe are your words that we can be friends (ambitious!), and I want to believe even more that as long as you live, you’ll remain my well-wisher, and the last thing you said—that you’ll stay, you won’t disappear as long as I don’t drive you away.
Now if you want, you can block my messages—the advantage for me would be that I could still read your posts. Or you could block me entirely; that shouldn’t be much of a problem. You came of your own will, if you stay it will be of your own will, and if you leave, that too will be of your own will.
Take care.
A couple of things. That colleague of yours I mentioned—he doesn’t give others a very good impression of you. Still, it’s your personal matter, what you choose to share with whom.
I didn’t say all this to change your mind. You live with your convictions, I live with mine. I just wanted to share my side of things with you. I believe that any relationship, even when it must end, should end beautifully.
I understood what was going on inside you the day we met. I didn’t want to remain in your life as someone else. That would have been uncomfortable and humiliating for me. I wanted to remain myself.
I’ve told you about the rest. If you’ve read it all, you’ll understand.
I have read it. That’s why I’m saying—I accepted you as you……..you*
Thank you. If you can truly think of me as a friend, then speak to me informally. I don’t want to be the ‘wicked one’—I want to be a friend.
I didn’t say anything like that. I am your friend. You can trust that.
Thank you.
………………………………………
Just because we don’t talk for two days doesn’t mean everything’s over. I need to grab you and give you a good thrashing. You’re the devil, not me. You’re the bad one, not me………..where are you?
Hahaha……the doctor came……I’m in the hospital.
What do you mean? What happened to you? That’s strange!! What happened? Why didn’t you tell me?
Just came in today. Maybe they’ll discharge me today itself.
What happened? Won’t you tell me?
Many things. I’ll tell you slowly, silly! Or will you just leave?
No, tell me. I’ve been writing for the past two days. A long piece. I told you. You think you’re so smart. Stupid!
Several problems. Kidney infection. Cyst in the uterus. There’s something else too, they haven’t told me yet.
When did you manage to accumulate all this?
I don’t know. Listen, if they discharge me today, I’ll come home and knock on your door. You keep writing, silly.
Isn’t anyone with you now? Who’s there? Did you eat anything tonight?
Husband’s here. Haven’t eaten yet. I can’t stand the awful hospital food.
……………………………………………………..
Hey!
What’s wrong, darling?
I’m going to Khulna! What are you doing? How are you?……….You’re not talking at all. Damn termite!
I do talk! You just keep misunderstanding me!
Nonsense. Where did I misunderstand you!
You do! You’re very cruel. I’ve read those words of yours several times.
Cruel!?
So then!
Sorry.
Why did you write those things?
Didn’t want to hurt you. I wanted to be honest with you. But I didn’t want to lose you either.
Fat chance.
Really! Come on! You just don’t trust me!
You messed with me.
How did I mess with you?…………Oh dear, busy boss!…………Where are you? Come!
……………………………………….
I won’t comment on your posts anymore, go!
I wrote so many cute little things. You don’t care. If you scold me I’ll burst into tears, I swear!
And that comment I made, that was nothing, right? I’ll cry too. See! Someone else insulted me and replied to my comment! Only you don’t reply! I’ll never comment on your posts again in my life.
Which post?
It’s OK. I deleted the comment.
Plz show me the screenshot. I didn’t see it. Which post? Give me that bastard’s Facebook ID.
It’s OK. Calm down.
You won’t give it?
Give what?
Screenshot. His ID.
I didn’t save the screenshot. Don’t remember his name either.
Which post?
The one you asked me to read. Living on a pyre.
Never delete comments. These bastards need to be blocked. I don’t care if no one reads my writing. Everyone comes here for their own pleasure or interests (read: schemes). You get it?
It’s OK. I replied him, then I deleted the comment. What cruelty you could master!
Whose shoulder are you touching in your profile picture?
Hahahaha Aww you went to my profile!? I thought only I do follow you!
I always do that.
Really?
Silently.
I love the silent treatment.
Hmm………
What happened? Mood off?
No.
You are off! I’m sorry if I’m disturbing.
Off to my station.
Mood off because you left your wife behind?
Bullshit!
Then why are you talking like this?
What should I say?
What’s wrong?
We’re friends! You can share, dear!
Nothing.
You won’t tell me?
I can sense you are not OK.
I’m OK.
It’s OK if you don’t want to share. But please don’t lie.
I’m sitting on the bus seat, no scope of lying!
Lol ……….So rude!
It’s true. Sorry if I sound rude.