Against My Will

 
What happened to you these past few days?
Why didn't you read my messages?
Why were you silent? Did I do something wrong?


Your silence causes me terrible pain.
Such pain that it makes me,
makes me scattered in all my workplaces.
…Even anger would be better—anything but silence!


If any of my behavior, any action…seems wrong to you,
explain it to me, but please don't stay quiet.
My feelings for you are completely sincere.


Just as your silence carries weight for me,
every single word you write carries weight for me too.
It pains me to delete even one word from here.


Yet I have no other choice.
So I don't keep a single message of yours.
Mothers must do so many things in this world for their children
that perhaps they don't want to do. Don't be angry about this.


The one who came into this world because of me—
staying conscious of them falls within my responsibility.


I don't know why I've written so much.
If you ever truly leave, tell me my mistakes before you go.
I've grown so restless, holding onto all this hurt!