After Being Murdered

 Suha, or is it Subah?
 Some other name perhaps?
 A name that erases and forgets the past!
 Tell me all the others you possess!
  
 Have you forgotten?
 How easily forgetting comes!
 At the tips of tender fingernails,
 grown large in your hands—
 that touch, that feeling...all forgotten!
 The blood that flows through those veins...
 Press your ear and listen—what torrent pounds in that blood!
 Forgotten? Have you forgotten it all!
  
 You spoke of love...
 Love isn't selfish, you fool!
 You never understood!
 You were nothing but commodity,
 for some drunken hours—
 mere warmth to be bought and sold!
 Did she love you even that much? Oh, Kamalshua!
 Listen, Suha, can you hear me?
 Kamalshua is dead, I think!
 Perhaps all Suhas die!
 Then is love like death?
 Or does death draw love to itself?
  
 I must still live seeking love in everything...
 Kamalshua, you wouldn't understand.
 She didn't love you truly, beloved.
 This is merely a love story, nothing more.
 Such existence dissolves existence itself...
 Only the warmth that gathers below the navel—
 did you forget in that, Kamalshua? Or changed by some other enchantment?
  
 You called her your own, thought it sacrifice. Why, tell me Kamalshua?
 What has she given up worth mentioning?
 If she truly loves—really loves,
 then let her stay as she was,
 let her call him to her path instead!
 You understand so much, yet fail this simple arithmetic!
 I drown in tears—
 she floats in virtuous bliss.
 In what sin do you drift away?
 Tears cannot make virtue—
 those waters only absorb sin!
  
 Suha, or Subah—what name shall I call?
 How easily four years circle round!
 Your daughter can walk now,
 calls "Mama" in half-words.
 Wonderful, Suha! Or is it Subahkali?
  
 In love of money you forgot love's meaning...
 Still, if you were happy, I'd be happiest of all!
 I've heard Suha-Subahkali washes dishes, scrubs clothes,
 eats half a meal—and only if the co-wife allows!
 Once virtue is earned,
 sin's marketplace opens wide!
  
 Kamalshua? Or Subahkali?
 Today you live alone in another's house, weep in pain.
 You were never mine—this too I can accept!
 But when I think of my Suha swallowing tears, falling asleep at night,
 my heart breaks!
 All Kamalshuas die as Subahkalis.
 Why didn't you return? Why didn't you come back?
 Why didn't you think once before Kamalshua's death?