About Cooking

: Do you ever call out the people who cook and make nasty comments when you don't like the food? Have you ever done something like that? I don't think you have. But if you ever do, then I'll say, please, don't ever do that. It's deeply, deeply painful to endure such behavior.

Today let me tell you about some of my personal experiences with this. I'm pretty much used to doing all the cooking by myself. I was never completely dependent on domestic help before, and I'm not now either. Because the day I tell the maid or cook, "Please come a little early tomorrow, we're having guests," that's the day she might not show up at all, or she'll arrive just when I've finished almost all the troublesome work and only some trivial tasks remain. Depending on her is like chopping off your own feet with an axe! I'm always very careful about food. Even if my enemy comes to my house, I would never let them leave without eating. Besides, I love to eat myself and love feeding others even more. But that doesn't mean I'm a very good cook.

When I have guests at home, I do pretty much all the cooking myself. There's a rule in my house: everyone sits down to eat promptly at 8 AM. And if there are guests, then that day my father and everyone try to eat at 6 AM if possible. When there are guests, I stay up late finishing all the work, and then I have to wake up at 5:30 AM again.

The guests at my house have another problem. They eat all sorts of breakfast items. Some want paratha, some plain roti, some soft khichuri, some fluffy khichuri, and some want soft rice with mashed potato. That's not the end of it—there's a whole list of additional demands: some want egg omelet, others want fried eggs, some want eggs fried with just onions, some with just chilies, and some want eggs fried with just salt, no onions or chilies. Along with this, two types of meat, mashed eggplant, nigella seed mash, dried fish mash, taro leaf mash, bottle gourd leaf mash... all sorts of items. Then someone might sit down to eat one item but end up taking a little bit of everything, mixing it all together in their plate, so I cook everything in sufficient quantities.

That's just one meal. This continues for every meal, but even after all this, no one stays quiet. They start saying indirectly how something would have been more enjoyable if it were done differently. After cooking so many things alone, and even after cooking such a variety according to everyone's preferences, if I have to listen to how their mother or someone else used to cook in their childhood, how that tasted, what the differences were between this and that—then really, I don't feel like cooking anything for these people the next meal. Besides, cooking is entirely a matter of the heart. The more you find fault with someone's cooking, the worse they'll cook next time, and the opposite is equally true.

What's happened with the people in my house is that they've gotten a completely free, robotic kind of worker, which is really quite fortunate! As a result, no one hesitates to eat their fill and then give me an earful. Besides, I have nowhere to go, so there's no problem with harassing me as much as they want. That's not the only problem with my family—they have another issue: they won't give me any menu before cooking, but after the food is ready, they'll say, "I didn't want to eat this, I wanted something else, so I won't eat this now." If I cook pilaf, they'll say they wanted khichuri; if I cook khichuri, they'll say they wanted pilaf. If I cook it fluffy, they'll say they wanted it soft; if I cook it soft, they'll say fluffy tastes better!

This means that whatever I do, there's a problem with it. This can't continue. I really don't know how much longer this steamroller treatment of one person can be enjoyable. These are really terrible habits. Because the person who cooks develops a reluctance toward those who constantly behave this way. Irritation and intense disgust work against them. From then on, the relationship can't be normal either. How difficult it is to sit in front of the stove in this humid heat—only those who cook regularly know this well; the rest just eat and that's it! I think, "If only I could bring them here in this heat and make them sit in front of the stove for hours like this!"

That's why my mood is very, very bad today. It's really not right to behave this way about food. Everyone should understand a little that everyone's body is a body, no one's body is a machine. And not everyone tolerates everything their whole life. This disgust I've developed toward these people—there may come a time when I won't want to stay close to them even if I wanted to. My heart might not let me do that. Everyone should be a little more understanding about such behavior.

: I completely agree with every word you've said.

A few points.
One, I never have any complaints about cooking.
Two, I eat absolutely everything—I have no pickiness about food.
Three, I have never said anything bad to whoever cooks about anything.
Four, when the cooking is good, I definitely call out to praise it.
Five, even if they're confused and ask how the cooking turned out, I say "Yes, the cooking is fine" even if it's not good.
Six, I even have this record: there was no salt in the food, but I ate the meal without a word and got up.

In my view, cooking is the greatest art in the world. I don't like people who nitpick about food.

By the way, I'm very eager to try your cooking.