A Few Cries of Unable

  
 From the beginning to this very moment…
 What I think of you or don't think,
 What I think about you or don't think,
 I mean, my feelings toward you...
 remain exactly the same.
 There is no evolution in this, so
 the language of my emotional expression never really changes.
  
 Loving you, loving you, I bless myself each day,
 In the pride of being able to love you
 I feel as if I've conquered some towering minaret.
  
 I no longer want to bind myself to myself
 because I dream of living with you.
  
 I am often bloodied, inside and out.
 Even in this, somehow I have touched your creation.
 And touched your soul as well.
  
 When I read with my heart some poem of yours
 written from the heart, I see
 love's covering slowly spreading over all my wounds!
  
 Without you now I feel so scattered and alone.
 Come sit beside me once. Understanding solitude,
 I have some sorrows to give you.
  
 I sit here with great eagerness
 to have the company of your shadow.
 I will not go home empty-hearted today with nothing,
 this time I want you so very much.
  
 Even if you cannot give happiness,
 don't refuse to give sorrow, I plead.
 But do remember to come! I am waiting.
  
 You know, someday you will love me terribly,
 in this hope I want to live.
  
 I want so much to see you, magic. So much!
 I want to touch your hair, your cheek, your lips…
 I want to gaze at your unbearably beautiful eyes.
 I want to breathe in the fragrance of your chest.
 May I come a little closer? Will you draw me near? You won't turn me away?
  
 …Give me a little touch, a little tenderness.
 Then bathe me in calm, gentle waters…
 I want to become the sleep of those enchanting eyes of yours.
  
 You are the intimate relative of all my joy, all my sorrow.
 If you don't come close, all my cherished thoughts,
 my carefully arranged love stories become disheveled.
 Gradually, an olive-colored, inexorable emptiness descends.
  
 You have seen something of my personal darkness,
 you even know the name of my own isolated river's weeping.
  
 But you too have a conditional life, where many enter in the name of love!
  
 So even if I wanted to, I cannot abandon everything
 and merge completely into your chest, cannot become entirely yours,
 just as you cannot either!
  
 Even if I deeply wish it, I cannot
 mark your forehead with the sign of a kiss in broad daylight!
  
 These few cries of my helplessness—you will never understand them!
 So when my longing for you grows, tears burst from my eyes!